A few years back I started driving Uber to drum up a little extra cash for the family. My wife and I are both teachers so we get Summers off and spend 24/7 with each other and the kids, so going out driving on Friday and Saturday night isn't really sacrificing any significant family time to make a little extra money. I thought it was a good time to start chronicling various experiences I've had so far.
Saturday night I had a old-ish (40's-50's; most riders are 20's-30's) couple. Picked them up at 11:00-ish at an Econo-Eyes-Wide-Shut style house with a gated drive near White Rock. Not super-relevant, but nonetheless. Some riders strike up a conversation with me, others stay silent, while most talk amongst themselves as if I'm not there. These two were the latter. Unfortunately, there was no lascivious talk between them (have never had that kind of talking in the car, closest was an 18 year old telling his bros in the car that he got "hand" from a girl recently) nor any kind of other taboo subjects (I hear some low-level drug talk from time to time).
But she asked him "how was the movie?" So naturally, my ears perked up. He apparently watched it earlier in the day but it hadn't come up at whatever quiche-lovers caviar dinner party they were at. He had a European accent I couldn't quite place. Or could've been Australian. Who knows. "It was good. Acting was poor, but I still got weepy," he said. Maybe 'weepy' means something different in whatever pussy country he comes from? Nope. "I cried," he said. "Really?" she replied (very passively for knowing what movie he watched). Maybe he watched some high-quality, emotional film?
"The message of the film got to me," he said. "The acting was poor but it still got me. LeBron isn't an actor at all."
This genital wart cried at the new Space Jam movie.
He said some bullshit about some 'be yourself' kind of malarkey but I was reeling. I envisioned myself slamming on the brakes and hitting the button to slide his door open on the minivan and me popping out of the driver seat like Rumble out of Soundwave then throwing his legs apart out the side and pounding his useless balls while he just sits there and his wife watches.
But I didn't. I just drove them home and kept my 4.98 rating. Seriously, though. Fucking Space Jam.
And I got a $10 tip.