@ichabod


ABC News
@ABC
·
Apr 3
Google launching tool that will publicly track people's movements, allowing health officials to check whether their communities are abiding by social-distancing measures.

@kickballhead


#FYI: 5G LAW PASSED while everyone was distracted... - S.893 SECURE 5G AND BEYOND ACT OF 2020 - Signed into law 116-129 on #March232020, that will speed up the installation of 5G and protect profit!! Children had to be out of schools for the covert installation. Parents are you seeing what's happening!? 5G is 10,000 times the strength of 4G and uses the same frequency as a military weapon. Also keep an eye out for these towers going up in your neighborhoods. Of course many of us wouldn't notice them because they're forcing us to stay in the house... Symptoms of 5G radiation sickness include: shortness of breath, passing out, cold and flu symptoms, fever, increase cancer risk, foggy thinking, eye pain, nightmares, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, dizziness, disorientation weakness, fatigue, hair loss, bloody vomit and stools from internal bleeding SOUND FAMILIAR?!?!Infections and low blood pressure PLEASE SOAK UP ALL THE SUNLIGHT YOU CAN TAKE IN, for your protection from these intense radio frequencies!!!!

Today i gave myself the #1 blade quarantine buzz cut after the wife departed for work. It's pretty glorious, but she's gonna be ticked. Speaking of quarantine, we had ourselves a delightful little shelter in place weekend. On Nextdoor last week this hobby seamstress was offering to make hand sewn cloth covid 19 masks for anyone interested. I asked for 2 and they brought them down on Saturday. Turns out, i know her husband as i see him all the time on dog walks. We are buds now. He looks a lot like Barnaby Jones with bama bangs. You'd be surprised how many dudes my age and up still try to rock this look here in the dirty south. Not me tho, I don't have any dang bangs. Anyhoo, the mask is very nicely made and very chic. The cover part is accordian-like and stretches as needed for a custom fit. It is white. It has upper and lower tie strings that are blue. The stitching is top notch. I wore it out in public when I went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning and felt like a hundred bucks. I still can't get over how weird this is. Everybody else was wearing something too. Some in bandanas like bandits from the wild west. Bizarre-o. It seems like bizarre should have 2 z's and only 1 r. Do you know what else is bizzare? At the farmer's market I got a ton of Louisiana strawberries (they are in season) that were packed in a cardboard box. On the box it said "Carona" Farms. What were they thinking? I wouldn't name my farm after a pandemic. The strawberries have been delicious. They are one of my favorite berries. What are your favorite berries? This morning I sliced a bunch of them and mixed them with a mashed up banana and had it in my oatmeal. It was outstanding.

Another activity we took part in this weekend was assembling a 700 piece jigsaw puzzle. I have been reading reports that divorces are skyrocketing during this time of togetherness. Isn't that sad? I found the puzzle to be a great team building exercise and highly recommend it. I let my wife take the lead and i credit her with assembling around 660 or so of the pieces. For the longest time i was certain there were pieces missing. Other times i became agitated at the tedious process, but it all came together in the end. It was an amazing transformation watching all the pieces of Nicky Broehme's artwork "Contentment" as they joined together and came to life into the beautiful jigged tapestry that is proudly still on display on our dining room table. Like the beauty of a Christmas tree, i could gaze at it for hours. How was your weekend?

We're starting to get into board games at my house. Not Monopoly or any of those boring old ones, but the newer, more involved, and often fuckin' complicated board games. Saturday we played The Thing, which is based on the Kurt Russell movie. There's missions to complete and success is often based on roll of the dice, but there's also at least one infected Thing thing among the players who can clandestinely throw a fuck into the proceedings if they want. First attempt was a wipeout, but during the second try we made it to the end, with our final act being taking a flamethrower to Mrs. Tit. Not a real flamethrower, mind you, but a board game version. She was pissed, but come on, she was also one of those Things.

There's also a Pandemic game out there that I'd like to try, but we're kinda living thru one. Not sure how fun it'd be at the moment.

Well heck. I came here to post a variation of that. Well done, sir.

My FB feed has been filled with this shit. This and the virus is a hoax designed by mastermind George Soros to kill "Trump's Economy".

Where I live, we have to take our trash to one of the three county dumpsites. They put up some signs that say that because of this coronovirus thing, you have to throw your own damn trash bags into the dumpster now. That doesn't affect me since I'm a do-it-yourselfer anyway.

This made me realize that the trash that I pick up on the side of the road probably isn't the cleanest thing in the world even though I use a picker-upper tool. So I stopped picking up trash.

That lasted all of three weeks. I flat-out couldn't stand it any more and I went out and did it today before the rain hit.

This is Hoob, and I hate littering.

To the author of this


This is somewhat helpful, but not actually. Some information I had already read, but then it changed, then it changed back. Then I heard it changed again and now it's not true at all. I think they are good rules, but sometimes bad, they bring us together but then they make us fight. Thanks for sharing because now I understand, but not really:


The Rules:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my God.

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that
you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?

indeed.

There are so many things that are contradictory to this thing.

Last week I was eyeballing Twitter and some Aikman guy was touting some Dallas people who were selling masks. Not having any, I bought four.

They got their money the next day and I figured I'd never see the masks. I got them a couple of days ago and wore one for the first time in a Walmart.

And then today my landlady gave me a mask that she sewed for me. So now I have five. I put one in both vehicles.

I look dashing in a mask. Anybody else wearing these silly things?

Mrs Tit made us all some out of an old pillow case. They look fetching but I feel like a tool when I wear it. Mostly because it's just a cover and doesn't stop shit. They're also not easy to breathe through and get hot pretty quick.

This is the 2nd weekend in a row I've worn the mask during shopping errands. I feel like a tool as well and get the distinct impression that dudes that aren't wearing them think less of dudes that are wearing them. However, I remember feeling like the asshole when it seemed like wearing them was the the thing to do and i wasn't participating. Either way the whole thing feels like a giant goat rope.

At any rate, it seemed like 60% of shoppers were wearing them.

I only wear mine in Walmart or Sam's. I stop off at a QT every day on my way to work and I probably should wear it in there but I usually don't.

the mavericks were selling masks for some feed poor people charity so I bought one but I just started getting kroger to deliver instead. I've barely left my place in the last few weeks. On saturday I played golf with terd. That's pretty low contact tho. I prepaid for the round over the phone and you don't really have to touch anything since you leave the flags in and the holes have the cup raised so the ball doesn't drop. I did not wear a mask for that.

I don't have any homemade masks. I wouldn't mind wearing one, some of them look pretty cool.

I had some cheapo workshop masks in the beginning. The wifey was able to score a couple of the N95 masks with the respirator, which is great for people who wear glasses. I wear it whenever I go out. I had a box of latex gloves for when I bbq but I've gone through almost all of them. I now only wear them when I go to my mother's house. The kiddo was big into buying scented hand sanitizer a couple of years ago so we have a few dozen little bottles of the stuff.

A man told me tonight about a local distillery that switched over to making hand sanitizer. He said the stuff smells "like booze."

I got the giggles when I heard that one.

I guess at some point I'm going to have to go back to living without disinfecting wipes like I did for the first 58 years of my life. Or I'm going to have to start stealing them from work. One or the other.

I already swiped some for my office because I ran out there. I just now tried to buy some online and that was a fool's errand.

And then there is the issue of beef. I have been paying out the nose for one steak each week, and I'm hearing from friends that I was lucky to get that.

I drive by a sale barn on my way to work and it hasn't been very busy lately. Yesterday I saw a farmer pull out of there with a trailer of a half dozen or so calves. My guess is, he wasn't able to sell them for some reason. I'm hearing stories of nobody to process cattle once they are slaughtered.

We were in the car the other night and we happened to pass by our local Chili's, and boys, that place was jumpin'. Not like a typical Friday night in normal times, but every parking spot in the front row was taken by a truck or SUV. I didn't stop and poke my head inside, but I would bet they were above 25% capacity. Also willing to bet a lot of American flag shirts were proudly worn as well. But I don't know for sure because I did not poke my head in there, because if I'm ever gonna catch this virus, it ain't gonna be at a fuckin' Chili's.

I was reading this article about how the Wisconsin Supreme Court just threw out their stay at home order and how hours after that bars were balls to the wall packed. Some bartender was quoted saying that the first song he played was the Hollies Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress and how wild the scene was with people banging on the bar to the beat and singing along. It made me look up the lyrics. I always liked that song. Do you know what? It ends with "had it all" a couple of times whereas I've always heard "get it on".

My office is opening back up the week after Memorial Day. They're calling it a "Soft Open" which means you don't have to go in if you don't wanna. I don't wanna so I'm not gonna. It's also a 3 week staggered shift thing. You work one week in the office then 2 at home. I got the week 2 shift, or Shift B as it's been dubbed. Apparently lots of social distancing and shifting of desks has been implemented, but I guess we're still supposed to cram ourselves into elevators or maybe wait an hour til we can get a car all to our lonesome? If they want social distancing, I can distance myself best at home. I'll happily come back in when I don't have to wear a mask all day or wash my hands for 30 seconds after scratching my nuts.

I apply hand sanitizer to my nuts prior to scratching so I can kill 2 birds with one stone.

I picked up some hand sanitizer for work from a distillery up north and it smells like cheap vodka.

I ordered some of those gaiter masks like MLB players have worn during the cold playoff games the last couple of years. That's been the only mask I could really tolerate.

Today I saw a Facebook post from a woman, and it was a copy of a distance learning assignment given to one of her grandkids. She was asking for answers to the problems and people were providing them in the comments. I think this kid was a 4th or 5th grader.

I used to work with the teacher who gave the assignment and we are good friends. Knowing that he doesn't give two shits about anything, I'm not going to tell him about this.

Bars in Dallas are due to open on the 18th, I think. My former band has a gig the next Saturday. They are afraid to play and hope the gig doesn't make.

Like a lot of schools in my area, Hoob ISD had a graduation parade a few days ago. The local newspaper needed some pictures so I was there. Their version of the parade is to have the kids standing by the high school and the family and friends drive by in a parade. The family members honked, waved, handed out flowers, and threw candy. Even though there were only 44 graduates, the damn thing took nearly an hour.

One odd thing was the candy being thrown out. The grads were not remotely interested in it. Old Hoob was not going to just let a bunch of Tootsie Rolls go to waste, so there I was like some homeless guy, picking up as many I could.

Yesterday I went to the dentist for a cleaning, a teeth cleaning. The appointment had originally been scheduled in April. One thing I've noticed recently, even before covid, is the over-confirmation healthcare offices hit you up with before a visit. They do this via text and email and if you don't respond, phone. They took it up a notch for this visit. Their final text even included bossy instructions to arrive 10 min early, call upon arrival, wait in car, and wear a mask. Alright already.

My hygienist came out to personally escort me inside. The first order of business was taking my temp. They had a neat temperature gun that they held up to the front of my forehead. The reader on it was digital, not analog fyi, which displayed a reading of 96.5. My temperature is almost always low like that. I wonder why. What is your temperature like? After that i had to sign a waiver, and then make check marks on another form about my recent wherabouts, symptoms i may be experiencing, and how many people I've been around and if any of them were sick. It was challenging, as I had left my readers in the truck. Do you know what though? I make backwards check marks on forms cause I am a lefty. Once this was done they escorted me to a restroom and made me wash my hands. Finally, I was lead to the room for the cleaning. I was then required to take a shot of hydrogen peroxide and slosh it around my mouth for 60 seconds. It became really frothy. The hygienist kind of rolled her eyes and confessed to me "I'm so over this" and let me spit the wash out early after probably only 45 seconds.

She wore a mask and a face shield as she did her thing. As an aside, she used a strawberry toothpaste which smelled like the inside of Sprinkles and tasted delightful. Dentist office toothpaste has come a long ways. After I was done and re-masked she had to make sure the coast was clear before she could lead me back out through the office. After settling up, they escorted me back out so I would not contaminate their front door.

I'm all set for another appointment in 6 months. I wonder how many of these silly procedures will still be in place.

Last week I had to take one of the dogs to the vet for a teeth cleaning. They had some of the same protocols in place at the vet office as well. Like arrive early, call when you get there and then wait for them to come out and get your pooch. They had a strict notice of this reiterated in all caps on a sign taped to their front door.

I did kind of enjoy the vet curbside service experience outside of my dog looking back over her shoulder at me as she was being dragged against her will into the office. Gets me in the feels when they do this. Later in the day when I picked her up i had to call and wait outside for them to get around to bringing her out. They loaded her up in the back seat and then came around to the drivers side to settle up. We were both masked. She was also gloved.

Yesterday I had to go back to the vet and pick up some medication because Hattie's gums were still infected. She's like a Jack Russell terrier type and I would do anything for her. Anyhoo, when I pulled up there was no more sign on the door. They have scrapped all covid precautions and it was back to normal here. No one in masks either. I guess they're over it. I pretty much am too.

I always request the bubble gum flavor now that I can't actually chew the real stuff anymore.

I went to the dentist a couple weeks ago. Same procedures, though not quite as intense. Had to wait in the car, but they just called when they were ready and I walked my own ass in. I also did not have to do the peroxide swish. I opted for a regular mint polish. They also have orange, strawberry, raspberry, and cinnamon. For me, it's mint or orange. I once asked for half mint/half orange but she assured me that would be nasty. I guess she already tried it.

does anybody else freak out nowadays when you have a coughing fit? Oh shit i have the rona.

I found out today a coworker that was still working in the office has tested positive for the rona. The sicko has been bed-ridden since last Thursday and is having a pretty hard time with it. I was at the office a couple of weeks ago but I think I'm in the clear. There's no official announcement yet but it's expected that noone that doesn't normally work in the office will be allowed back for at least 2 weeks. Not sure about the people that have been working there, namely production. If that shuts down for 2 weeks then it's gonna hurt.

I found out this weekend that my niece in VA tested positive for the rona. She's 19 and refused to stay at home, by all reports was rather pissy about having to come home from college and in addition miss a trip to Cozumel with her sorority pals. She's family, but she's an entitled cunt. She's also asymptomatic, and probably not at risk for real illness, but she, my brother, and the rest of the family are now under quarantine for the next 2 weeks.

It's kind of weird. For the past few weeks it seems like it's been a free for all here in the Sip and that the pandemic is over, especially around the coast. You just don't see a lot of mask wearing or social distancing anymore. It was like that in Louisiana too a couple of weeks ago when we went over there to visit the parents, maybe even more defiant.

Last week however, we were in Dallas for a doctor visit and stretched it out for a few days as a little vacation. It was surprising how serious people were still treating the situation. Masks were worn at a super high compliance just about everywhere and a lot of stores were still pretty strict with their capacity levels.

DFW looks so world class after living in a shit hole for a few years. The restaurants are a cut above too. Tried a new (to us) Mexican place called Mesero which I really liked. It looks like it might be part of the M Crowd group. You can't get good Mexican food in the South. We took a day trip to Dinosaur Valley for some hiking and took the Chisolm trail back into town. It's unreal how much different Fort Worth looks. So much more new stuff than when we lived there.

Anytime we visit Dallas we always stay at the hotel on the Cooper Clinic compound. It's the best kept secret of places to stay. It's on Preston between Forest and 635. Thursday evening, after returning from dinner, there was a bottleneck of traffic and a commotion in the mean streets of Preston Road. I parked and walked the grounds for a closer look and witnessed my first ever in real life BLM protest. It was wrought with emotion. They really get themselves and surrounding motorists stirred up. Lots of honking. Lots of yelling. A car in front lunged forward and protesters jumped up on their hood and stomped on the windshield. He eventually sped away. Cops showed up and they marched south on Preston to wherever. I heard Trump had been in town at a nearby church and that is why they were out. Crazy times all around.

You must have been in some weird outlier area. I would put mask usage in general well below 25% not including businesses where employees are required. The only place where I've seen it noticeably higher was at Trader Joe's yesterday where I only saw a half dozen or so not wearing masks.

We mostly stayed in the circle of Dallas, Oak Cliff, and over around the White Rock area.

The second half of our field trip day to Glen Rose we drove thru our old FW neighborhood and even popped into the zoo for a couple of hours in the afternoon. It was hotter than a mug. I was bummed the reptile place was closed. A few times i would see zoo people and I would wonder "is that bigboy". In the parking lot a golf cart whizzed by and a dude who looked to be around my age was riding shotgun. He had a buzzed head. I wanted to cry out " hey bigboy" to see if there was a reaction, but I didn't want to explain it to my wife so i kept silent.

We don't go out much except to our triumvirate of grocery stores Kroger, Target, and Sprouts, and it's usually about 75-80% masked avengers among shoppers in each. At least it is when we go, but we learned not to go to Target on weekends because that number drops significantly on weekends, and some folks look like they're ready for a fight if you question them on it.

We haven't eaten in at a restaurant since this shit started. We've done plenty of take-out but never eaten in. Don't miss it.

It's hit or miss. Sometimes in Home Depot I'll see about half the folks not wearing masks and other times just a few aren't.

HI Fruit.

hey pal

I'm feelin' a little awkward here. I'm gonna take off and let you guys have some alone time.

Come back Shane.

There's been another run on TP for your bunghole. If you're running low, get out there and kick someone in the cunt for a few rolls.

wtf