From the crime page of the Wise Co. Messenger:

A man wanted to press charges against a female from Nigeria. He sent the woman $2,900 via Western Union so she could fly into the Bridgeport airport to marry him. She never arrived.

Wave goodbye to your money, dumbass.

Not sure if I'd put a dumbass label on this one, but it was interesting

A passing motorist reported a disturbance between a male and female on the side of the road. A deputy discovered a mother was disciplining her 12-year-old son after she learned he was looking at porn on his iPhone during church service.

Hoob's comment:

You know what? If you go through a drive through eatin' place and order, then get to the window and order something else that has to be cooked and there are people behind you, you are a dumbass. No two ways about it, you stupid dumbass.

If it's in the morning, there is a great chance that every vehicle in line behind you is being driven by people with JOBS, and they have just enough time to get the food, eat it on the road, and get to work. But you, the dumbass, caused them to be late by your dumbassery.

In this case, I would have backed out of the line and left, but there were already 2 cars behind me. I was trapped like a rat.

By a dumbass.

Dumbass.

Selina working the window should have made them pull up.

What has to be cooked at a fast food place?

They wanted some breakfast item that wasn't already made.

Shouldn't you be pissed at the restaurant? Unless the menu says this item will take 10 minutes to cook and piss off everyone in line behind you I don't see how it's that dude's fault.

Anyone who doesn't cook their own eggs at home = dumbass

but whataburger picante sauce tastes so good

I'm kidding. Loves me some whataburger breakfast.

breakfast is fun to cook tho

I made biscuits and sausage gravy on Sunday. It was good.

I've always wanted to make sausage gravy. Just pour the flour slowly and keep wisking right?

Mrs. Tit has made it a few times but it never has much flava. What can she add to make it all tasty-like?

You have to make the roux. Equal portions fat (butter, oil, meat dripping) and flour. Mix with whisk and let brown. Add milk and whisk. Add in craploads of salt and pepper. Then add sausage. Enjoy.

Stu's going to make someone a good wife one day.

Roux has become a topic of great debate in our house since we make a gumbo about every month or so. She has her own ideas about roux and I can't change her mind. Basically she's a dumb broad, but I'm not gonna say that to her face.

You gotta cook the flour taste out of it.

That's it. I always tasted too much flour.

Take control of your scene.

How'd that work out for you?

I can make a roux.

Stu is right on all counts. The main rule about roux is you have to cook low and slow. Keep the stove on low and cook for at least 5 minutes for sawmill gravy (whisk constantly), longer if you're making a gumbo or something with a stronger flavor. The browner the roux, the stronger the flavor.

To the adult visitor at work today that ducked behind a wall and took a shit on the sidewalk less than 50 feet from a restroom: you are a dumbass.

Good grief, that's wheels off. And yes, they are a dumbass.

Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

I've railed on the comment section of newspapers before. And having lived in Sherman, I read their online newspaper. On April Fool's day, their paper had a story about Sherman and their bitter rival, Denison, swapping athletic directors. I got it, and I'm old.

In the comments was indignation from the dumbasses who didn't get it, then from the dumbasses who were fooled.

http://www.heralddemocrat.com/hd/News/B ... n-swap-ADs

I really hate dumbasses.

I think I'm more shocked that there's a small-town paper in Texas with the word Democrat in its name.

I haven't even thought of that. But good point.

Texas was a blue state until Reagan took office and we had the big economic boom in the 80's. I tried reminding my father about that the last time we talked politics but he claims he was never democrat. Like most cattle, voters have extremely short memories.

Reagan was once a democrat, too. But the parties shifted. The Democrats used to be the party of the working-man.

And the party that hated naggers.

now we just talk about nagger dialects.

I'm trying to set up uverse phone service on my own (wasn't available when I ordered cable and internet) and I have a couple of nominees for dumbass of the day:

1. Me for thinking this was a good idea
2. Whoever designed the tech support phone tree. Every single fucking time I've used it, it has sent me to the wrong place.
3. The smartass cunt that I talked to first that cut me off while I was bitching about the phone tree to give me the number that I had just called. She then said, "oh, let me transfer you." Why the fuck didn't she do that in the first place?
4. The idiot who told me that my problems were all caused by my order not going through until after 8:00pm. When I chatted to Rasheed in Mumbai, he let me know that only applied to internet service.
5. Me again for trying to use a dead phone jack to get service to the whole house.

Oh, well, it's all activated now.

People still have land lines?

"land" "line" ?

I don't understand this talk.

Landlines are good if you don't wanna have to carry your phone all over the fucking house with you.

Because having a phone in one spot that you have to get go up to go answer is better?

Using a cell phone for anything more than a 2 minute conversation is a beating. And, no gam, I'm not getting a gay blue toof.

Why pay for two phones? I don't call anyone and if the phone is too far away, I don't bother to answer it.

The landline is mainly for the kids to use. I'll get rid of it when they're old enough for cell phones.