Did a 22 mile ride today, had to battle the wind, which was in my face one way, swirling in the other. I hate the wind and it takes a lot out of me.

With all of that, I had a decent time and could have gone more. Only encountered one other rider, a girl who didn't acknowledge me. She has no idea how much man she passed up.

A kickass time was had.

Hoob.

I have lost 10 pounds this spring. The goal is not necessarily weight loss, but it has just happened. Not quite to my New Year's resolution of my 2005 level of shape, but I'm closer.

I think I found the 10 pounds you lost.

<looks at my growing ass in mirror>

On Friday I did a lower-body lift workout and a 22 mile ride. Decided to be extreme Hoob and take things to another kickass level. Maybe I should have called it a dumbass level, 'cause that's what I am.

Rode the Greenbelt, used higher gears and put some real strain on my legs. This would be great but doing that sort of thing for an hour and a half at my age is a dumb idea. Drank a Muscle Milk afterward to help with recovery. That stuff isn't touted for recovery but it helps me. It also puts shards of glass in my doo-doo.

With that ride and my other activities, I think my body is going to suddenly break into several little pieces.

I went to bed last night totally drained and my legs were sore. They aren't as bad today.

A kickass time was had.

I'm getting a Lester Burnham vibe from current Hoob.

Lester Burnham? Uh-oh.

Took my bike with the intent on a ride at Bonham yesterday. Had to do a chore at my mom's that took 3 hours in the sun, so no riding. Sad.

Last night I checked on the death trails north of town. Closed because of the recent rains. Today I'll take a crack at the Greenbelt.

The wife and i hiked right at 7 miles yesterday at the FW nature center. Relative to things in the metroplex it's pretty out there. Picked 3 ticks off my legs. One of those fuckers had clamped down really good. I've exhibited no symptoms of tick related diseases so far and my stool sample I inspected this morning was a double thumbs up so as the young types say "no worries".

We walked briskly and came up on another couple. The lady was blonde and pulled the pony tail thru the hat. From a distance, it was promising: youngish, tanned, and toned but up close she was +- 60, flab wiry, and orange hued like the grease that collects in cheap pepperonis when they go into the 'cupping' stage of pizza baking. It feels like being duped when old women sport young babe hairdos and i don't appreciate it one bit.

No exotic animal sightings except an armadillo and some lizards. Did come across a baby copperhead on the sidewalk in front of the porch last night when i let Hank out to rock a deuce. Scared me to death and by the time i got a shovel it was gone.

To clarify, Hank was the one that was pooping outdoors.

Btw Hoob, i'm loving the Lester Burnham vibe.

What's worse: that, or doing the same thing and when you get up close, you figure out that she's 13?

No comment.

The death trails opened today, so Johnson Branch was my selection. It was 95 when I finished, but it wasn't that big of a deal.

My level of bravery was actually pretty good and I attempted everything. However, my body is tired. I'm guessing it is a combination of several days of exercise, being out in the heat, and yes, 'cause I am beat. I'm probably too old.

A kickass time was had.

Did a lower body workout and then rode the Greenbelt, 22 miles. Decided to just ride the thing and not kill myself, was a good move.

Encountered a couple who didn't speak both times I passed by them. Sorry that you are married to a total bitch, dude. Also went by a chubby woman in her forties who was sorta running. She was wearing some tights or something and not even I wanted to think about what was under those things.

Finally, I encountered a girl who I'm pretty sure was a former student. Didn't speak the first time, looked like she recognized me on the second. I estimate her age at 27. She bootyful. She fine.

A kickass time was had.

Hoob.

5.67 miles out and back on the North Richland Hills portion of the Cottonbelt Trail last night. As warm and humid as it was yesterday, it was pretty pleasant on my ride. The return trip featured a 23 foot climb over about 3/4 of a mile. It was brutal and I thought vomitting was inevitable. I felt better when I got some protein in my system and I actually didn't feel any effects this morning. A kickass time was had.

Where did said protein come from?

I buy a protein drink from Costco by the case. I think it's about 12 ozs. and it has 30 grams of protein. It tastes a hell of a lot better than Muscle Milk and it's less than half the price.

I was going for a semen joke but I do appreciate the tip.

Lifted this morning, did an upper body workout. I'm at personal highs on several lifts and felt pretty good about it.

Had a checkup this afternoon and it did not go well. How in the damn shit hell can I have high blood pressure? My BP was high and my pulse was through the roof. It was so bad they hauled an EKG machine in there to check me out. At least my reading on that thing was ok. At one point when I was in the waiting room alone I said "Fuck!" out loud, I was so mad. Was given a prescription for some blood pressure medicine. I'm going to try cutting down on salt and drinking first.

My body mass index was in the upper part of the normal range. This also pissed me off. I know, BMI is poo-pooed by a lot of people. It's real to me, dammit.

Oh, I also got some samples of Viagra and a prescription for it, too. A kickass time will be had.

Finger in the butt?

I'm not QUITE as pissed off today as I was yesterday but I'm still way up there. I just don't get it.

Obviously I'm not telling the ball and chain about the blue pills, but I'm not even going to tell her about the BP medicine, which I'm picking up this afternoon.

The summer of Hoob will not be derailed by something so silly as heath issues.

Isn't there a warning on the blue pill commercials about being wary of a sudden drop in bp? If that's one of the side effects, just take a 2 a day and have more sex. Tell the wife you're doing it for your heart.

Makes me long for the days when you posted just a .

you never explained why you went MIA before? We drank beers at Humperdinks, you can tell me.

I think he only posts when he's in rehab.

No strife is allowed in my lame threads.

I'm now picturing hoob and the hoobmistress lakeside before a beautiful sunset in separate bathtubs.

I'm too old for the commercial, and that makes the visual funnier.

we need a thread titled 'Mallard's photoshop section'

We need more sections that people don't post in.

Got on the road bike today, went to Aubrey, a total of 21 miles. Not much wind and it went ok. I don't like road riding that much and don't know how people do it. My gears need adjusting. I don't mind adjusting my trail bike but I'm not so quick to fool with this thing.

Did a workout this morning. Determined that my supplement is probably the cause of my blood pressure problems. I'm really sad about this because I had doubled my weights at most stations.

I have discovered that when I work out my bp gets elevated so thus I don't work out to keep my bp low.

Lifted. It went ok and I was able to increase weights even though my usual supplement was in the trash. A sorta kickass time was had.

Lifted yesterday, ran today, went 4 miles. I actually like running better than biking but it hurts various body parts. I am in decent shape now.

Hide your wives.

Lifted. Supplement. Ran.

Was at a 7 year low on weight yesterday, somehow managed to gain 2 pounds. I don't care that much about my weight except I still have some cute moobs that need to go away.

The more for them to suckle on.

Got up early and took the road bike south. Went 35 miles. Nothing really happened other than I sweated my balls off.

A kickass time was had.

Workout. Supplement. Road bike ride. Only one physical activity is missing, but I can't remember what it is.

Another workout today. Not as strong today as before, not sure what the deal is.

Rode 30 miles on the road. The end of vacation is nearing, so I won't be able to keep this up.

A kickass time was had.