I can't decide if I need to be 'racist wally' or 'overly pinko left wally'.

On the one hand, I can issue one of these as 'racist wally':

1. "FRY THAT DARKIE!"

2. "Hey! He stole some shit from me! Well, at least that guy looked like him"

3. "Did you ever pay Cap back for lunch???"


or

1. *sings* "Swing low, sweeet chariot..."

2. "I BLAME BUSH FOR THIS!!"

3. "Society has done this, not this poor, oppressed African American"

A friend of mine claims he issued this one:

"I beleive we should legalize drugs, and take all the money we are currently spending to prosecute and jail drug users and dealers into rehabilitation centers for those who want help with their drug addictions."

He claims that got him summarily dismissed.

What if i issued this:

I'm going to remember all of your faces and gun down all of you motherfuckers with my M-16"

Easy way of getting out of jury duty:

1. Report and make sure they know you're there.
b. Fake a seizure
IV. Spend the rest of the day at home in front of the TV catching up on your stories.

Walt: That might get you thrown in County Jail. But, hey at least you'll be out of jury duty.

I'll do it for forum shtick.

Stories? You do remember that I'm not a fat middleaged black woman, right?

Oh, shit, I forgot you're white.

goddammit. Go heckle Somey, fucker!

I've never been called for jury duty.

the klan don't work that way

if they keep me out of jury duty, i say great.

Me neither. Do they still use voter registration lists?

I've had to do Jury 3 freaking times. It didn't seem what sort of shenanigans I tried to throw out, they made me ass stay there. Worst of all, all of them were before Jurors got a raise. I've heard if you go in with a t-shirt of a burning flag it usually helps.

i'm not sure how they get the lists.

I've been summoned 3 times as well but fortunately one of them was too close to another time so I didn't have to go.

I was picked for jd once and I told them I had had a DWI and they replaced me with the alternate immediately!

i thought they changed that policy, but i'm not sure.

they've called me twice and i've served zero times.

just give them your username and this url.

I was in the middle of serving on a jury on 9/11, so I was treated to all kinds of hijinks, including:

1. getting a freebie day off on 9/11
2. a bomb threat at the courthouse on the 12th
3. an extra half day of jury duty because we had to wait 4 hours for the morons who went home during the bomb to return
4. a homeless guy walking up to my table at the Tandy Center food court to ask, "Is it to early to make a joke about this stuff?

Yeah, otherwise he'd have to hate himself.

well that already happens. I just don't try to drag myself behind my car.

I suggest RealWally (tm) and do both. It'll confuse the shit outta 'em, they'll be begging for mercy.

Sorry Boucher ole bad luck.

I'm punished today...

How did you remember this thread existed?

I've been bitter about Vbear never having jury duty since that post talk speak. I saw on FB he had it yesserdee. It would have been more of a win , if I didn't have it today... :suicide:

There's a way out, but you gotta tell them you hate Texas and everyone who lives there.

Gotta say though, it's nice having a super phone while sitting through this fun.
Ticket, internetweb, netflix ap.. I'll live.

NO DEAL!

Then during the jury questioning, start giggling and tell them "Fruitdog posted a funny."

Hold my hand up for a high five from the attorney, yell "baby mother fuckin arm!"

I miss Arthur.

I still remember that great day when both Cle and I got called to jury duty. Too bad we both didn't get put on the same panel.

That was the greatest jury duty ever in the history of ever!!!!!!

Man, I forgot how hot FruitChin is.