this made me laugh out loud

So you don't get to get a stump?

Mrs. Ich is crushed...

Then get off of her.

Today is Monday, November 1, so what better time to get back on the health program! Worked out a new training program designed to build my leg muscles back to the point that they stop failing me during long distance runs.

This program runs through the 2nd week of January which should keep me honest through the holidays. Stay tuned sorts fan. Let's see if 50 year old Ich can stick to the program.

Upgraded my cable service to HD and was able to get 2 DVRs for only $10 extra per month. Got rid of my Tivo account and my home telephone land line.

I had Tivo for 7 years. When I called to cancel the account you'd a thought the guy at the other end of the line and I had been dating for 7 years the way he started whining. He was so highly indignant that I would dare leave their service without consulting him first, that he actually attemped to scold me!

Another observation. Why is it when you call Tivo or the cable company, the electronic tree has you cite your phone number so it can identify your account, yet when the customer service dude comes on the line you have to repeat the same exercise?

Got caught up with the current episodes of Dexter last night. Julia Stiles is a natural beauty. She makes my pants go crazy in the Bourne movies as well. I don't really think things could work out between us though, as she would undoubtedly become jealous of my larger manbreasts... Alas, some things just aren't meant to be.

Currently at the new offices of Ich Jr's dentist. Be interested to see if they remembered him in designing the new floor plan.

Never understood this.

Well today is the first day of post DFW Walt. It will be interesting to see if society will remain the same or if it will quickly devolve into Darwin's survival of the fittest - Kill or be Killed! I guess only time will tell.

This being the week after Thanksgiving marks my 18th year of giving up the booze! It's hard to believe that I haven't had a sip of sourmash whiskey for that length of time. Jack Daniels and George Dickel distilleries went into a deep depression in 1993. I'm glad to see them pull through it without meh. Mrs. Ich certainly likes me better this way.

Grudgingly got the Xmas decorations put outside yesterday. I was born without the Xmas gene as I do not enjoy decorating the house. To me it's one fucking big chore followed by another fucking big chore of taking everything down after New Years. Bah humbug I guess. I did take advantage of a Home Depot ad and bought a 7 foot PRELIT tree for $50 yesterday. Isn't technology genius!

You know you can hire folks to decorate your house for you, right? Just an option.

I'll see if I can survive post DFW Walt. It will be tough.

Based on your sig, I'm surprised you take part in this religious holiday.

It's participate or catch HELL from Mrs. Ich. I gots to live with the woman, so HO HO HO it is.... Just sayin' Besides, setting up a tree and putting up white lights and a snowman isn't quite the same as the manger scene and attending Xmas Eve services.

We're already pretty used to it over here. That other forum might have some problems, though.

He's still posting over there. I think he's pretty much abandoned this place though.

He unfriended most of us on Facebook, too. That's what we get for not going to his party.

When you strike oil and move to Beverly you tend to scrape off the little people.

Maiden got kept.

It would have been a giggle if Mrs. Ich celebrated Kwanza. Ich in a robe and kufi would have been funny.

I helped my old man put up lights yesterday and it just pisses me off. Pretty much the only reason I help is because I'm worried about him falling. He and my mom insist on putting lights on the second story. To do so we have to walk along a narrow ledge on the front of the house. They also put up a stupid 6' star on the chimney. If he were to fall and kill himself I can't tell you how pissed I would be. I get furious just thinking about it. I tell them how stupid an idea it is every year. They respond 'it looks so nice'. I'll be sure and hang some fucking christmas lights on his grave after he falls to his death because it looks so fucking nice. Christmas is the absolute worst fucking holiday. I fucking hate it.

I have a friend that fell off the house about 5 years ago and nearly had to have his leg amputated. I have other friends who use this as their excuse for not doing outdoor decorations.

I think it's the most wonderful time of the year.

I enjoy spending time with family I like but I also have to put up with the family I don't like. The decorating is dumb and more often than not it looks tacky. The endless car and jewelry commercials during football games make me sick. The music is an extra special kind of shitty. Elevator music sounds better than that crap.

I spent about 4 hours yesterday doing lights around the house. It's easy shit like landscaping lights and festive inflatable yardart, but it still takes forever to do. Later, I got yelled at for sitting on my ass and not helping with the interior decorating part. Today, the wife is walking around with a ceramic Christmas tree shoved up her ass.

and by tree you mean your Tit cock

That's more of a weed.

milk weed, emphasis on the milk

You left out the biggest whip of all... Salvation Army Bellringers! Motherfuck, but I hate those sons of bitches! Nothing on the planet is more annoying.

Don't you have to go to malls to hear them? I never encounter them. And even if I did, it would be hard for me to get mad at volunteers trying to help the needy. Just sayin'. <-- forcefield

Malls, shopping centers, Target, WalMart, grocery stores, etc etc... I help the needy throughout the year I don't need f'n bellringers to remind me.

As discussed previously I'm caught up with Dexter now. The character of Dexter's dad, Harry, had me thinking he looked familiar, but I really hadn't cared enough to follow up - Until tonight! Hells Bells! Dexter's daddy is played by James Remar who is the one and only "Ajax" from the movie, The Warriors!

No wonder Dexter's a serial killer being raised by an absolute BAD ASS like Ajax! Cool.

You would probably be surprised to learn that most bell ringers are not volunteers. Some hours of the days may be filled by volunteers, but the guys that stand out there all day are paid.

I bet you reallly don't.

Why are you going here?

He attacked bell ringers. I don't like that.

Its true. I remember in Mexico Cap said he always had an affinity for bell ringers. When we were on the scooters, I remember him driving past a kid with a bell and he flung a peso at him.

Went to the doctor this morning and was diagnosed with some strained ligaments. He prescribed anti-inflammatories and an anti muscle spasm pill at bedtime. Also gave me 3 sheets of core exercises to do twice each day.

In relating the treatment to Mrs. Ich I had a moment of inspiration and told her the doctor insisted that protein be extracted from my body at least once per day "oxygen-free."

Alas, it seems Mrs. Ich is more than willing to watch me die.

I'll keep you from dying.

I'm more willing to do that.

Self-fellate?

How do you think I strained the ligaments to begin with?