These posts prove that sometimes is .

^The heart and soul of teh forum^

Yet this forum is stuck with you.

All About Eve - Eve is a cunt. That's all you need to know about Eve. She plays all naive and shit, but she's a manipulative bitch. It's tough to tell if she's really good at it since she goes after a bunch of theater people who are used to having their asses kissed. It might be kinda spoilerish to mention some of this stuff since I don't think we're supposed to know what she's up to til around the middle of the film, but these days we're conditioned to look for the twist and it's not too hard to find here. The fun is in watching the other characters react to her and indulge in some manipulation of their own. This is a great movie. It's got a great screenplay and great performances. There are six major characters in this movie and each gets plenty of time to develop and become complex portion of the plot. Bette Davis is the best of them all. Everyone knows the stories of her battles with co-stars and how she became a crotchety old bitch later in life, but the chick had skills. Watching her, her brain is constantly thinking and she's reacting to everything going on around her. She knows she's the smartest person in the room, even when a young upstart is scheming to kick her aside as the greatest thing in theater. She already had 2 acting Oscars before this movie, but she should've won a 3rd for this performance. This movie got 14 nominations, which is a ridiculous number that has only been matched by Titanic, and it didn't have awards like Best Computerized Pretty Image Maker to pad the totals.

Did it deserve to win?: It was this or Sunset Boulevard in 1950 (or Rashomon if you're an art fag.) Whichever one you lean toward, it's a worthy winner. It sucks when you have too many great movies in one year since only one can take home the top prize. There's some real piles of shit coming up here soon, and I'd rather watch Sunset Boulevard again than some of these musicals.

(out of 5)

You should start an old movie podcast.

Wanna do it with me?

Sure. We should do dunch to discuss.

*whispers to forum*
He has no idea I'm talking about sex.

he's rusty. it's been a while for him.

I thought he was a ginger.

I'm more of a mary ann guy.

Time for bigboy to bring back the cow in sidecar.

He's too busy trying to figure out why he saw an afro in his kid's sonogram.

I thought that was going to be dessert.

An American in Paris - This movie is a celebration of swellness. You know how it is when you're penniless but there's a spring in your step and plenty of sidewalks to tap dance on? That's the kinda swellness I'm talking about. This movie is loaded with it. Not much of a plot to speak of. Gene Kelly is a painter in Paris and when he sees Leslie Caron it's love at first sight. First off, I don't get it. This chick is making dudes fall all over themselves but she's not that hot. She's barely cute. She's only tolerable when she keeps her mouth closed because she's got a huge set of upper choppers. And she may be a good dancer, but acting-wise she was a piece of wood. Anyway, she's got another dude who wants to marry her but she likes Gene Kelly more, and that's pretty much it. Gene Kelly wanders from here to there. He stops to sing and dance. Things move along. It's not all that interesting until he starts to dance, which is always fun to watch. The highlight is the 16-minute An American in Paris ballet at the end of the film. Lots of sets and dancers, no dialog, and Kelly and Caron dancing their asses off. It's a fantasy sequence of his after she splits with the other dude. Had it ended with just the dance, it would've been an amazing bummer ending. Instead, she comes running back, the other dude assures no hard feelings, and everything is swell again. It would've been nice the other way. After sitting through some unnecessary routines that didn't do much more than pad the film, a more meaningful production number would make it all worth it.

Did it deserve to win?: Non. The old queen who introduced the film on TCM said no one expected this movie to win. It was 4th or 5th in the running among the nominated films, with either A Streetcar Named Desire or A Place in the Sun expected to win. MGM, who produced this movie, also produced the BP-nommed Quo Vadis, and they put all their push behind it. It surprised the hell out of everyone when this one took home six awards including the top prize. While the other films ARE better, they each clearly lacked an important element: swellness.

(out of 5)

I appreciate it. These next 2 decades are gonna be tough. By the time I hit My Fair Lady, it might be wristcutting time.

I am surprised you made it through that one. It's pretty sucky.

Sucky yet pretty painless. I'm not looking forward to the next one at all.

The Greatest Show on Earth - Commonly referred to as the least deserving BP winner of all time, and there's certainly a case to be made for it, if only for its competition that year. More on that later. As it stands on it's own outside of history, It's a predictable slog that's sometimes pretty to look at. First of all, I didn't buy its bullshit. Fuck a bunch of the circus. I was taken to a circus once when I was 3 or 4 years old and, aside from walking in the tent and seeing some weird alien-like lady in a beige costume waiting in the wings, I have no memory of it. Maybe Molesto the Clown got a hold of me and I've blacked it out. Whatever, circuses are creepy, but for some reason people dug them before they got TV. Another problem is watching these dropouts do their acts and seeing a cut shot to the enraptured audience. It's the same problem I have with every movie I've seen about stand-up comedy. Someone tells a joke, the audience laughs uproariously, and I sit there silently holding my dick. Basically, your shit is not all that amazing. The plot sucks, too. No one cares about the battle for center ring between two trapeze artists, and it's barely a love triangle when one person doesn't seem to give a shit. A couple subplots would've been more interesting to explore, like the corrupt mob-influenced gaming on the midway or the doctor on the lam disguised as a clown. There could be an interesting movie in either of those plots, but they're barely an afterthought here. Too much time spent on the hunky trapeze guy in the Aquaman pants. That and the pageantry of the circus. We got it the first time, but they kept parading people by in new costumes, padding the film to a difficult length. Also contributing to the length is an inexplicable documentary about the roustabouts and how they load everything and set it all up. On its own, the documentary could be interesting, but here it distracts from the story. Take away all the weird gimmicks, and you have a 90 minute movie instead of one that drags on for 2 1/2 hours.

Did it deserve to win?: On it's own, this is not a god-awful movie, but it's not a very good one either. It didn't deserve the top prize in any year, much less 1952 when it beat High Noon, The Quiet Man, and the un-nominated Singin' in the Rain. There's a rumor that High Noon didn't win because no one wanted to vote for a movie written by a blacklisted screenwriter. (Thanks, Senator Joe!) John Ford won Best Director for The Quiet Man, so perhaps there was a split vote that let this movie slip in for the win. How ever it happened, this movie didn't deserve to be nominated, much less win. If it's not the least deserving winner, then it's definitely in the top 5.

(out of 5)

The Quiet Man is a pretty friggin good movie.

I need to remember to proofread.

From Here to Eternity - What I liked about this movie is that it's a war movie without much war in it. Set in Pearl Harbor before the bombing, the guys on the base mostly hang out doing their work and exercises, then they get drunk and go into town to chase dames. I don't know much about military life but I imagine in times of peace that's exactly how it is with lots of drinkin' and grab-ass. Also plenty of time for political maneuvering, and that's where our story begins. Prewitt (Montgomery Clift) is part of the bugler corps who gets pissy and requests a transfer. He ends up in Hawaii after Captain Hughes requests him because of his mad boxing skills. Prewitt blinded a guy and now refuses to fight again, so the captain makes his life hard. He's got one friend, Maggio (Frank Sinatra), and eventually earns the respect of the sergeant (Burt Lancaster), who sees he's a good solider and a stand-up guy. The sergeant also has no respect for the captain and is secretly finger-banging his wife. That's the iconic moment everyone's seen where he's rolling on the beach with Deborah Kerr. That was hot stuff for the time, but it's really a pretty brief scene. Plus even though she was nommed for Best Actress, Kerr has a pretty small role. I wouldn't even call it key. She's just part of a subplot that comes and goes. Even Donna Reed, who won Best Supporting Actress, had more screen time. The dudes on the base are the focal point, but seeing them roll around on the beach would be really gay. Anyway, stuff happens, and without spoiling anything, the base eventually gets bombed by the Japs. There was some impressive sound at this point as suddenly shit was blowing up everywhere in meh sideroom and dudes were getting shot on the ground by Jap planes. While they still had to resort to some stock footage of ships getting blowed up, it felt like they were doing something new and maybe even groundbreaking with the attack scenes. I've seen a lot melodramatic deaths in these movies, and it's nice for a change to see someone run across a courtyard then immediately collapse after being riddled with bullets from an enemy plane. It makes me think these movies are getting better and I can soon stop shoving objects into my ass to distract from the pain.

Did it deserve to win?: It was certainly good enough. There were few others like Shane and Stalag 17 that some may consider better. This one dominated in 1953, winning 8 awards overall, and it definitely deserved Best Sound and Supporting Actor for Sinatra. Sinatra really was great in his role. I'm glad Don Corleone got him into this pic.

Ernest Borgnine was good as the bad guy. To me, Stalag 17 is the better flick, but Eternity has the better star power and something for the chicks.

well look at Mohamma Stu Atta hijacking Tit's thread.

Infidel

Oh, I forgot to add:

(out of 5)

On the Waterfront - Ok, this is a really good movie, but there's some awkwardness that I must address. Elia Kazan ratted out some people to HUAC back in the 50s. Later, he made this movie where a guy eventually rats out the mob's involvement in his local longshoremen union. This deed is ultimately presented as the right thing to do despite it not being a popular decision at first. So is this movie nothing more than a defensive bunch of bullshit from a total asshole jagoff? Yep, it appears so. However, I can't let this kind of stuff get in the way of what's on the screen. The film must be judged on its own merit, and not based who's in it or which loon made it. (This is also how I justify sitting through Roman Polanksi and Woody Allen films.) On its own, On the Waterfront is first fucking rate. If it's any consolation, Brando's decision to rat is agonizing to him. He's got things good as it is, but he's constantly pulled between a decent, yet crooked life and doing the right thing but being ostracized for it. It takes several kicks in the head before he's forced to act. Brando really does give one of the greatest performances of all time here. You feel for him the entire way, each time the girl takes one step closer then two back from him, when he has that heartbreaking talk with his brother (the coulda been a contender speech), and when he drags his ass to his feet after getting the crap kicked out of him. The performances are great all around, but Karl Malden is second best for his take-no-shit, community-rallying priest. Father O'Dingleberry from Going My Way wouldn't last 2 minutes in this place. It takes a priest with some real balls to get things done around here. Oh, and I found Eva Marie Saint to be incredibly hot here. She started to look odd to me when she did color films like North by Northwest, but she's definitely black-and-white hot. And no, I don't know whether that's a compliment.

Did it deserve to win?: Yeah. Rear Window could be considered better, but either would do. I've always liked The Caine Mutiny too, but I think it's second tier to this one.

(out of 5)

Solid review of a great movie. :high five:

Thank ya.

Karl Malden was a goofy looking bastard, but he was brilliant in just about everything.

I was surprised at how good he was in this. He took charge whenever he was on screen. But yeah, that nose was a distraction. I bet if you dug him up, it wouldn't be completely decomposed yet.

Marty - People in the 50s were dicks. When this movie opens, it introduces Marty, a 34-year-old Italian butcher in New York City who's fat and has a face like boiled meat. He's a good guy, providing service with a smile and keeping friendly chat with the women who come in for their dinner meats. Suddenly, without provocation, he's being chastised for not being married. They tell him he should be ashamed of himself for that. What.in.the.FUCK? This is why I'm glad the 60s invented Punishing Anal. These sorry bints needed it. If you make a nice guy feel bad because he hasn't met the right girl yet, you deserve an ass-cramming. Marty doesn't need that shit. Marty is better than you. The dude is loaded to the gills with honor and nobility. When the wallflower girl gets dumped by her douchebag date, Marty asks her to dance and comforts her. He's not feeding off table scraps, though. He sees a kindred spirit who's been hurt many times just like he has. (I don't know about telling her she's not a dog, though. That seems like a back-handed compliment.) Turns out they like each other and you can see where this is going. Of course, a little more selfishness gets in the way as his mom and his friends convince him she's not worth it, but he comes to his senses and makes that phone call at the end to signify a happily ever after is somewhere down the road. He deserves it, and so does the girl. They're good people. The others are stuck with Punishing Anal.

Did it deserve to win?: I really enjoyed it, so I'm saying yes, though it feels like a minor Oscar winner and not a Big Important Film. Some good stuff came out that year: East of Eden, Rebel without a Cause, and Night of the Hunter and foreign films like Rififi and Mr. Hulot's Holiday. Of course, none of them were even nominated as a bunch of forgettable titles took their places. In fact, it was a strange year in that of the 5 nominated BP films, only 2 got directing noms. Marty was one of them and it took home both awards. Ernest Borgnine deserved his Best Actor award, too. He played Marty as such a sweetheart that it's easy to see why people loved this movie.

(out of 5)

Around the World in 80 Days - This is where it starts getting difficult. 1956 marks the point when the academy started going apeshit over shiny things. This movie used that brand spankin' new Todd-AO format which used 70mm film and was shown on a curved screen so it looked all awesome and stuff. It was certainly impressive, as now filmmakers could compose wider shots and show a lot more prettiness. The problem with this movie is its all prettiness and nothing else. It plays like a travelogue with endless scenes of the world passing by from above, from the window of a train, etc. It may have been quite an amazing sight back in 1956 to see such images for the first time, but today we have the Travel Channel, in HD no less, so this movie is no longer necessary. There's a thin plot about a wager between British twits to go around the world in 80 days (hey, that's the title of the film!) sometime during the late 19th century. Plileas Fogg, played by David Niven, takes his goofy Mexican man servant on the trip. There's no sense of time, tension, or even wonder as Fogg approaches each set piece as a typical uptight limey with a stick up his ass. The Mexican man servant is the one who gets to do all the comedic physical stuff, but while this guy might've been big in Mexico, I've seen Charlie Chaplin, and senor, tu es no Charlie Chaplin. I knew I was trouble early on after they took off by balloon and landed in Spain, where the locals all acted like goofy Spaniards. First, there was a 10 minute dance scene. Next, there was a 10 minute bullfighting scene. These scenes had nothing to do with the plot, and only showed off some of the culture and the bright colors of the costumes. Oh, and the cameos. Apparently, one of the dancer dudes was famous and some of the bullfighters were famous too. That happens all across the movie, as a dude in a saloon is playing a piano, then he briefly turns around and *gasp* it's Frank Sinatra! And look, there's Buster Keaton! And there's Marlene Dietrich! Their both older than dirt now, but there they are! Fill that kinda stuff up across 3 hours and you got one long fuckin' afternoon. There are chunks of this movie I can't even recall right now, and it was less than 24 hours ago that I watched it. The whole middle of the film clanked off my forehead and thudded on the ground in a pile of failure. I wanted to go to sleep while watching this, but had to fight that urge since it would ruin my mission. So I press on, knowing many more shiny objects lie ahead, hopefully with plots attached to them.

Did it deserve to win?: To be fair, it deserved the cinematography award, but that's it. Talk about shit not holding up. Geez.

(out of 5)

Best review yet. This movie was on recently and I could not make it through.

It was really painful. From here on, I'm going to automatically mistrust the opinion of anyone who says they like this movie.

He's dead to me.

Around the World in 80 Days starts in about 5 minutes on TCM.

Come over and watch with me?

I'll bring the ice cream.

The 1958 movie is a great one. You should have RR Movie night at Tit Manor.

We could do that, but who wants to drive out to Wylie?

I will.

I just looked up what's ahead. You are a brave man. 1 good movie from 1959 until The Godfather.