On the third lap, I always stand up in my living room and try to rip my lower jaw off of my skull.

You could start chasing some random dude yelling "DEDDY! NOOOOO!"

man, what a bizarre story.

Today's race was a night race at the California track. Jimmie Johnson dominated the thing and it was not a good race. But that's not his fault.

I really hate this track and resent it that they get two races a year. I also resent it that they took away the Darlington Labor Day race for this crap. The stands didn't look half full. They haven't come close to selling out since they went to two races per year.

If I was king, any track that can't sell out two races gets dropped to one. That means one less race for Texas Motor Speedway, California, and Atlanta, among others.

Here's a thread that doesn't need to be brought back. So here goes.

Tonight they raced at Darlington and Mark Martin won. At my favorite track, my favorite driver wins.

There aren't many fans who don't like this guy. He's 50 and still wins. His sponsor? Cheez-its.

Darlington is a throwback to the olden days. When they built the track in the late 40s, there was a bass pond at one end so they had to make one of the corners different. Because of the odd corners, the track is extremely difficult to drive. Drivers can go 170, hit the wall, and keep on keeping on. Cale Yarborough once scraped it half a dozen times and still won the race.

Hoob.

whoa. When I was a kid, I'd follow Cale Yarlborough. No idea why, for some reason I latched onto him.
Man, what a bizarre, useless anecdote.

I like Gordon. Not only because all he does is win races, but he also has the ability to hit a wall and walk away. Not everyone can do that, you know.

He also has a hot, hot, hot wife.

Here's something I really don't like pointing out, but it needs to be said: In ratings, the NBA beat NASCAR last weekend. In the ratings business, that rarely happens.

I guess my point is, NASCAR's ratings have been falling for a couple of years and it looks like this trend is continuing. There are a myriad of reasons as to why and I won't go over them here.

The Saturday night race in Richmond was broadcast on Fox and the Bulls-Celtics was on TNT. Broadcast shows have an easier time beating Cable, but it didn't happen this time.

I know, this game 7 had unusual intrigue in it given what happened in the previous games.

Hoob.

I forgot to look up the ratings for last weekend's Saturday night race. The Southern 500 in Darlington was the most-watched sporting event of the weekend.

Had a gig, couldn't watch the all-star event this Saturday, which Tony Stewart won. Just as well. I don't like this event and don't like him.

This guy went from being my favorite driver to being in my bottom five, so I'm glad I missed this race. My bottom five in no particular order:

Earnhardt Jr.
Stewart
Denny Hamlin
Kevin Harvick
Kyle Busch

And then there is the issue of Jeremy Mayfield's suspension for illegal drugs. He says it's Claritin D, they are saying it's something else. He showed up to the track on Saturday night in violation of his ban. Stay tuned.

Hoob.

That Meira dude hit the wall at Indy hard enough to kill an Earnhart!

Hee hee. Glad Vitor is ok. I'm ok with Castroneves winning even though I don't really like Penske.

Indy has gotten to the point that only a few have a realistic chance there, and that isn't good for the series. I wonder if Junior Miller's dynasty theory applies in auto racing?

Tonight's NASCAR race was rained out and will be run tomorrow morning at 11:00.

I thought the Indy Car racing series and Nascar had some form of rapprochement? What happened?

The two American open wheel series, CART and the Indy Racing League, kissed and made up.

Today's NASCAR race is preempting various stupid girl shows on Fox. Right now it's the Tyra Banks show. This development makes me really happy.

Hoob.

The President asked the American public to participate in a Memorial Day tribute at 3:00 eastern time on Monday.

So at the NASCAR race, they stopped the race for a moment of silence out at 3:00. Tony Stewart said that it was the coolest thing he has ever been a part of at a race.

Hoob.

Nothing ruins things like rain. According to Sports Media Watch, ratings for this event have already been going down, and today's rain-shortened event will probably have worse ratings.

It's funny to see that Douche Stewart get onto Reutimann for not racing properly, then Reutimann win the race. Take that, fat Tony.

Oh, and Reutimann is a step away from talking like Mel Tillis.

Junior's crew chief/cousin is removed from duty.

I have really enjoyed seeing his team fail this year. I hope this change doesn't put a stop to that.

Today's event was at Dover, a track that Dick Hicks thinks is underrated.

The event was really dull except for the last 10 laps. Jimmy Johnson dominated, but found himself in big trouble after a fouled-up pit stop. However, he took the lead again with 2 laps to go and won.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. What a change of fortune for Lowe's Home Improvement. They started off in NASCAR by sponsoring Mike Skinner, who never won a points race and was often called "Mike Spinner." Then they signed on with Johnson's team and won 3 titles.

For what it's worth, I like Mike Skinner. I like his wife, too.

Here comes the dull part of the schedule and it begins with the race at Ponono. This place holds 75,000 and it always sells out, but the race just isn't that exciting. Many drivers would like for the race to be shortened to 400 miles. Here's something I pulled from a Wikipedia page about the track:

August 2, 2008: Frank Kimmel, a 9-time ARCA Re/Max Series champion, was injured after a 3-car crash on lap 68 of a Pocono race that involved his car being clipped and slamming into the backstretch wall on the driver's side, going airborne as a result. Kimmel suffered a partially torn sphincter and pulled groin, spending the night in a local hospital before being released.

They do go pretty fast at this track. Bobby Allison was injured on the first lap of a race and suffered brain damage, ending his career. His son Davey had a horrible end-over-end crash here in 1992 that damn near kilt him. Davey was my fave and I hated seeing this mess of a wreck.

Hoob.

I'll bet that was a pain in the ass.

sorry

Or maybe you could say he ripped himself a new one?

Well, the very useless ESPN the magazine has finally done something good. It took them long enough.

Today they had a story that Jeremy Mayfield tested public for meth. Dang, dude. You messed up.

By the way, I can type ESPN on this forum all I want.

I can't believe I forgot to mention this story about the Nationwide race in Nashville. The Nationwide series is a minor league series but regular guys race in it all the time for the fun of it.

The trophy at Nashville is a guitar, usually with customized artwork. When Brad Keselowski won the race, he fell asleep with it on the plane, he was so happy about winning it. Carl Edwards has won three of them and loves them.

Leave it to NASCAR douche #1, Kyle Busch to win the race, take the guitar, and slam it to the ground in victory lane like he's Pete Fucking Townsend. I hate all displays of breaking instruments (including the Who's antics and Hendrix setting a guitar on fire). It ain't right.

But I really hate a big-eared prick doing this to a beautiful guitar. Jimmy Spencer needs to come out of retirement to punch this shithead out.

Hoob.

Today's event was in Michigan. At one point they showed an aerial view of the action and it really made the empty seats look even more obvious.

Jimmie Johnson dominated and led the most laps. I dozed off on the couch with 6 laps to go and was awakened by the announcers yelling that Jimmie had run out of gas on the last lap. Greg Biffle was in second but he, too ran out of gas on the last lap.

Mark Martin was next in line, and the old goat made it to the finish line first. Hoob was happy. I've only bought one NASCAR shirt in my life, and it was a Mark Martin shirt.

Hoob.

Today's race was at Sonoma, California, a road course. Many "fans" don't like this type of racing.

Today? It was the best race of the season and I loved it. Kasey Kahne won, having to outdo Tony Stewart on five restarts. Kahne gave Stewart a lot of credit for racing him clean. Throughout the race, there was all sorts of drama, beating, banging, hard racing, hard feelings and passing.

It was the first win for Richard Petty motorsports. King Richard has always resisted sponsorship from beer companies, but he is knee deep in it now, as Kahne's sponsor is Budweiser.

I don't think that would have been the case if Stewart had been able to get closer on those last few laps.

Today's race was at Loudon, New Hampshire, the site of the worst two races of the season.

There was one oddity to today's race. It was actually interesting. There was passing, rubbing, racing, hard feelings, and a huge wreck at some point.

Joey Legano won his first race today due to being in the lead when it started to rain. There are all sorts of 3/8/88 fan types who don't like this guy because of this or that reason. This guy didn't nickname himself "Sliced Bread," and he actually did a good job at the lower levels. But they'll still say he didn't pay his dues, et cetera.

Kyle Petty mentioned that he was following Twitter during the race and there was a lot of complaining about Joey winning.

In other news, announcer Bill Weber was suspended for getting into some sort of confrontation over the weekend with a fan. Ralph Shaheen had to do the "play by play" of the race. I don't have a problem with Bill's work, but a lot of 3/8/88 fans do and were happy that he wasn't there.

I don't get the bellyaching about announcers. I like them all except for two: a) Darrell Waltrip. b) Jack Arute. Even so, I'm not going to gripe about them on message boards. Much.

Hoob.

I googled 'Dale Earnhardt Jr. overrated' and actually got a website called over88ted.com. They have a clock that counts how long it's been since Junior won a race. They have one page called the "Choke Report." They sell merchandise. Damn.

I support this.

Oh, boy. People are getting their number 88 panties in a twist over this article. We are a nation of dumbasses.

I've always wondered what the drivers think about him. He's got skins on the wall, but I've always thought you can hear the lifeforce leaving their body when he pops on the radio for a chat before the race.

I've thought the same thing.

Part of it might be the equivalent of Michelle Tafoya trying to interview a coach as he's leaving the field at halftime. They don't have time for that crap.

Many of them are only old enough to remember him never being able to quality for the last 3 years of his career and got in on the past champion's provisional. The provisional rule had to be changed because of him.

Also part of it is, he's a douche. He and Tony Stewart had a couple of run-ins a few years ago.

I hated him when he drove. There's nobody driving now that I hated like Waltrip.

I had a gig Saturday so I had to miss the Firecracker 400 at Daytona. That was the name of the race for years before it started being sponsored.

The end result was two drivers that I don't like battling for the win, and Kyle Busch ended up in the wall and Tony Stewart won. It's just a shame that both Stewart and Kyle didn't both wreck.

Oh, and they took out half the field with the dumbassery, then blamed it on restrictor plate racing. I am not buying this excuse.

I noticed on a message board that some guy has started spelling Stewart's first name as 'Toni.' Pretty funny.

Hoob.

My favorite, Mark Martin won at Chicagoland. This race was considered as exciting because of things ended. I thought it was kinda boring. But at least the old goat won.

I hate Saturday night races. They often conflict with Ranger games or gigs or both.

The Jeremy Mayfield situation is becoming fucked up beyond recognition.

NASCAR is saying he tested positive for meth again. His stepmom is saying that she witnessed him use drugs many times.

His response is that the stepmom killed his dad.

Woah.

I can hear the crowd on channel 21 chanting, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"

Unless something odd happens, he's finished as a driver. He won't be able to get a serious sponsor now.

Hoob.

According to Mayfield it's all a big conspiracy. Apparently NASCAR is paying his step mother to lie about him. Whatever, that dude is d-u-n.

Give me a sport where the top athletes do steroids rather than meth anyday.

Help me out, Hoob. Why would NASCAR have such a hardon for seeing him go down?

I think that NASCAR made errors in the drug testing process and they're too far into it to let the matter drop. Because his driving career is ruined, they can't just say, "we messed up. Carry on as you were."

For what it's worth, his career was already on life support before this.

If I have to listen to that fucking nascar promo on the ticket one more time I'm going to break my radio. What a collection of dumbfucks. boogity boogity boogity! HANG ON BOYS! THEY"RE GOING FOUR WIDE!
ARRARRGGGGHH! DIE DIE DIE DIE A THOUSAND TIMES OVER DIE!

WHITE FLAG! HANG ON BOYS! WHITE FLAG!!!