Am laughing at the inbreds complaining about the coverage of her on the telecast. The ARCA series was only known for its cool wrecks. Now it can be known for 2 things. Cool wrecks and Danica Patrick.

Yay, Daytona is on. Already had a wreck 10 laps in.

Boo, stoopid Digger posing with a trophy. This is just as annoying and stupid as the Fox robot for football games.

Oh. You said Digger.

Wow. NASCAR is really putting on a show to start out the season.

Daytona is as torn up as I-35 near 635.

If this was a Bruton Smith-owned track, the outcry would be massive and millions would be spent to redo it. But it's a NASCAR-owned track, so we will be treated to more of the same when they return here in July.

This race has a huge wreck just looking for a place to happen.

That clap of thunder you just heard was a track full of NASCAR execs, media types, and fan sheep having a collective romance explosion when they realized that the prodigal son had a shot at winning.

Yep.

And I picked up my 9 mm S&W and was prepared to shoot the TV all Elvis-like if he had won.

Hoob.

Wow. A couple of my bottom five had a chance to win this one:

Harvick, who shoved a couple of drivers out of the way at 180 mph and looked to be the winner. Eff Biffle for not spinning him out when he had the chance.

Dale Junior, who came from nowhere to finish second and had a chance to win it.

___________________________________________________________

A big quadruple EFF goes out to Darrell Waltrip for actually cheering for Earnhardt to pass McMurray. I believe his exact words were, "Come on, Joonyer!"

Not the first time he's favored Junior in a race, but it's by far the most blatant. I hate Waltrip so much.

Oh, and yay for McMurray, who was largely considered a failure in NASCAR. I bet Bass Pro Shops execs like the decision to sponsor his car now.

I believe "Junebug" was the nickname Waltrip was using. I fucking hate him.

"He looked just like his daddy making a run out there!!!" boogity boogity

All I saw of the race was them fixing a hole where the rain gets in while I was waiting to get my haircut. I saw Jeff Gordon getting interviewed by some chick that was 3-4" taller than him. I giggled.

Can't wait to hear from 'pothole' on BaD.

I had to spend the afternoon yesterday at the in-laws and of course this shit was on. I quickly realized the only thing more boring than watching cars drive around in a circle is watching cars NOT drive around in a circle. Didn't they have an old episode of Mama's Family they could've shown during the delays?

I was over at my Dad's yesterdee and he had this on. What.the.fuck. It took about 15 laps to run the last three.
Nascar announcers might be the worst in all of sports. It seems like they never met a driver they didn't love. The one thing they said that can be slightly construed as negative was when they talked about Jeff Gordon bump drafting which caused a crash after he said that nascar should stop people from doing it but then they all backtracked and said they don't know the whole story or some bullshit. Have a motherfucking take for fuck's sake you spineless hillbillies.

rubbin is racin

i jus wanna rub it daddy

After giving it some thought, I really hate the "three tries to end a race under green" rule.

In 2004, Jeff Gordon passed Junior near the end of a race at Talladega. Someone else wrecked with a handful of laps left and the race ended under caution. This enraged the Dumbass Junior Nation and they pelted the track with cans. As a result, NASCAR instituted the "green-white-checker" rule, which gave the drivers another chance to end a race under green. If a wreck happened during this time, the race was over. Although this rule change bugged me because it was an attempt to appease Earnhardt fans, I could live with it.

It's not the only time they've changed the rules to soothe Junior fans, either. More on that some other time.

This season NASCAR has decided to really trick things up and give them THREE chances to end a race under green. At Daytona they needed all three.

This is a stupid rule and I hate it. Someone mentioned it reminded them of the last minute of a basketball game where numerous time outs are called and it takes 30 minutes to play 60 seconds. That is exactly right. It is one of the many things I hate about basketball. It doesn't belong in NASCAR.

Hoob.

Doesn't Sterling Martin have a son that can take care of this problem? I can see it now... *diddly doo! diddly doo! diddly doo*

*clean up on turn four*
*better bring a mop*
*and a gurney*
*and uh, ooooo... better bring a basket or something for that part*

According to Sports Media watch, this was the lowest-rated Daytona 500 since 1991. Of course the Olympics had plenty to do with that.

The last time the Winter games were on, NBC carried the race and the Olympics, so they could be used to promote each other. Not so much this time.

The race had 3 million fewer viewers this year and 2 million fewer the year before that. I wonder if anyone at NASCAR HQ looks at TV ratings.

Repair work has begun on the troublesome turn at Daytona. Junior was mentioned in the article and I giggled:

Earnhardt has been among the track’s biggest critics, often saying it was overdue for a new surface. During one of the two breaks caused by the pothole, Earnhardt reiterated his stance by saying there was about “2 1/2 miles of hole.”

“It’s so damn slick,” he said. “It shouldn’t be like this. It’s 2010.”

Jamie McMurray goes to Fontana and wins the pole there. Good stuff. A few people on message boards call him Jamie MacMary because Benny Parsons used to call him that back when ol' Benny was still alive.

This track only has one thing going for it: it's the race after Daytona.

However, nobody is going to watch this race because: 1) it's up against the Olympics, and 2) this race suuuuuuuuucks.

Hoob.

So, races are going to start earlier? They threw the green at 2:20 central for the California race. Last year they threw it at 2:35. Whoop dee doo.

Maybe Fox is the problem. They put out listings for the others to follow and it says the race begins at 1:00. I really hate Fox Sports.

Jimmie Johnson wins in California, beating Evil Harvick. Harvick was threatening to pass with about 5 laps to go, then brushed the wall and was a non-factor after that.

Junior broke an axle spinning out after a pit stop, ending his chance at winning. Wonder who his stupid fans will blame that one on.

Johnson is hated by many fans because he's from California. But the same people like Harvick. Let's see, where's Harvick from? Bakersfield. You know, in California.

I got in an hour nap during this one. Missed nothing.

Hoob.

So Nascar fans discriminate against drivers who aren't true cousin-fuckin' rednecks?

It's obvious man, it's obvious man, it's obvious man, it's obvious man, it's obvious man.

Had to deal with stupid work crap on Sunday so I missed the race at Las Vegas. I see that Jimmie Johnson won again, beating his teammate Jeff Gordon for the trophy. Not a good result and probably was a boring race. Maybe stupid work crap was a good thing.

Their teammate Mark Martin 4th. Their other teammate Joonyer finished 16th. This guy is the retarded cousin who can't catch up to the rest of the family.

Yesterday was Danica's second race in the Nationwide series, and she wrecked, tangling with Michael McDowell. She was passing him and they collided. He took the blame for the incident.

Hoob.

In a race that can only be described as Kickass, Kurt Busch won at Atlanta, making Dick Hicks happy. But the story of this one was Carl Edwards intentionally spinning Brad Keselowski. The problem with that is, ol' Brad ended up upside down at 190 mph, hit the wall on the driver's side of his car, and could have been kilt by death. NASCAR immediately ordered Carl to get his ass hung up on now you idiot and get off the track.

Edwards' response was that he didn't mean to cause him to flip.

My only regret is that they have the week off next week before going to Bristol, my favorite track.

I listened to some Nascar play by play today. Those people are worse than Josh Lewin. They scream like it is the bottom of the ninth on lap 25 when someone moves into 6th position.

They are a beating. In reality, they are in a parade at Talladega and someone will inch ahead of another driver for 7th place and it brings this result:

AND KEVIN HARVICK IS MAKING HIS MOVE TO THE FRONT!

Oh, I forgot to mention one more good thing that happened. Junior did horrible.

He started on the pole, never led a lap, was 20th or worse for most of the race and finished in 15th when a bunch of drivers in front of him crashed.

To spice things up, dumbass Waltrip had his pants down while doing his stupid Boogity crap at the beginning, he was so happy for Junior.

THEY ARE THREE WIDE HEADING INTO TURN THREE!!!!!1111ELEVEN

Carl tries to explain himself on his Facebook page:

My options: Considering that Brad wrecks me with no regard for anyones safety or hard work, should I: A-Keep letting him wreck me? B-Confront him after the race? C-Wait til bristol and collect other cars? or D-Take care of it now? I want to be clear that I was surprised at his flight and very relieved when he walked away. Every person has to decide what code they want to live by and hopefully this explains mine.

After giving this thing some thought, I've decided that I don't have a big problem with this incident. NASCAR has said that the drivers should handle things themselves, and that's what happened here.

I've always liked Carl Edwards and it's cool that he's owning up to it. I just hate that he fucked up what was looking to be a good race to the finish between Busch and the taco vendor when he was down by half of the race in laps.

I enjoyed how the Fox booth fell all over themselves to blame Dale Jr. having a bad race on tires or something along those lines. It can't be that he just sucks, right?

I'm sure when NASCAR reinstated bump drafting they knew that the drivers would be more eager to mix it up a bit on the track. Give em an inch and all that. Makes the races more interesting when they start using the cars as weapons.

NASCAR pretty much said how they felt about it by giving him a 3 race "we're watching you" probation. No sitting out in either series and no points loss.

And now two short track races are coming up. The chances for more controversy and bad feelings are high.

And I am happy about this.

Can this weekend's race ever get here? All I am hearing about is about why fucking West Virginia didn't get a 1 seed in the Fuck Dance. Oh, and something about a guy deciding that he's had enough pussy and is going to go back to playing golf. Let's race already.

Green flag at Bristol fell at 12:16. Quite a few empty seats.

Love the Kyle Busch commercial where the little girl designs the car's paint job and Kyle talks about it.

On the other hand, the Danica Patrick grandmother godaddy commercial is just wrong. I had a mouthful of food when the grandmother took off her shirt. Yuck. Almost made me die.

Good grief. Jimmie Johnson won again. Kurt Busch dominated but didn't win.

I had switched the teevee off and missed the post-race interviews, but supposedly Kurt said that he'd rather lose to any of the other 41 cars other than to Jimmie.

Kurt made a few fans with that funny statement.

Hoob.