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VBF
 Post subject: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:29 am 
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This resume' was forwarded to me by a friend of mine who is the recruiter for Plaza Medical Center HCA in Ft. Worth. This is not a joke, he sent the email saying, “Robin said you were hiring and to send my resume’ to you. Look no further for your Ultrasound Tech because I have mad hearing skills.” Enjoy


Joey Collins
876 Elmberry Avenue
Irving, TX 75086

Objective:
Forget all the other candidates, I am the BEST.
Skills:
• Organizing shit? Check.
• Calling numbers and shit? Doublecheck.
• Customer support and shit? Mega-check.
• Faxing numbers and shit? MOTHERFLIPPING CHECK ALL OVER THAT.
Don’t believe me? Check this shit out:
• I am devilishly handsome – I was Prom king two years in a row with two different queens.
• I am ridiculously smart – I can solve any Rubiks cube in front of your face with my magic fingers. I will bring one to prove it.
• I have pinpoint accuracy – I killed a hawk once with a ninja star.
• I am good with office morale – When someone cries I am all sympathetic and shit.
Need my resume? Nope. Not when you got my FACTS!
• I am honorable – I am the son of a librarian and a Capricorn.
• I am brave – I fight crimes on weekends. I don’t wear a cape, you that shit is for PIMPS.
• I am dependable – Just call my name and I’ll be there.
I’ll pop in tomorrow to get my paperwork all signed up around 11am. No need for an interview, trust me you will love me. I got your address from Google, because my internet research skills are the shit. I actually have been to a spa near your building before a few times so I already know the area.
Love,
Joey
PS. My favorite color is TOUPE because it rhymes with DOPE!

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TerdFerguson
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:41 am 
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Um, when they say it's not a joke, it means it's really a joke. This should have been posted in the "not-funny" section of the forum.
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VBF
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:54 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Um, when they say it's not a joke, it means it's really a joke. This should have been posted in the "not-funny" section of the forum.



No, I meant it wasn't a joke that he really did send thi.........fuck it.

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Trained Goucho
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:11 pm 
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Location: these things are good....
Not that accurate either. Spa in the area? Doubtful. Oh sure you'll see your occasional street trick in the Rosedale/hospital area but spas are more north of downtown off main or south of 20 off 35. C'mon man. Would not hire.
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fruitdog
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:42 pm 
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He should have used the name Jean-Ralphio instead of Joey.
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cap
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:52 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:20 pm
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Location: at yo mamma's
ted is wrong, vbf

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bigboy
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:09 pm 
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Yeah, this was real funny when it made it's way through the spam/viral email world a few years ago.

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VBF
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:39 pm 
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I was hoping this would take off like Honeybadger.... :sad:

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Sweet Greggo
 Post subject: Re: Anyone looking to hire?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:14 pm 
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Maybe I should update my resume. :/

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