Don't they have hotels where you live?

Yeah, but I wouldn't recommend staying at any in Euless.

Turns out after just a week my FIL said fuckit and they jetted back to Mexico last night. Hasta la pasta, baby.

We had to run a quick errand last night, so we took care of that and returned home circa 9PM. We walked from the garage into the living room, and Mrs Tit got kinda spooked. "There's a bird in here," she said. I looked up and saw something fly from the living room, down the hall into the front room. Fuck. How do you get a bird out of the house? It flew back to the living room and I got a better look at it. I shouldn't have said anything because it only made things worse, but I said, "That's not a bird. I think it's a bat." Fellas, if this same situation ever happens to you, stay mum about the bats. Her screams sounded like they came from an 80s slasher flick. I opened the screen door to the backyard and told her to come hold the thing open while I tried to get the bat out. With every revolution around the room, that bat made her scream more as she froze in place. I found something to prop open the screen door, and told her to go into the bedroom while I dealt with this myself. She went in there. More screams. There's a second bat in the bedroom. She ran to the laundry room and locked herself in there. I grabbed a broom and did what I could. With my plans of triangulation dashed, I went to the living room and started swinging that shit around. The goal was to guide the bat toward the door and maybe it would fly out on its own. Several swings and a couple of hits later, that fucker finally went out the door. I shut the door and went to the bedroom for round 2.

This one was gonna suck more since my plan was to just get it out of the room and out to the living room where I'd have to do it all again. With the same plan to guide it toward the door, I started swinging. Bats are hard to hit in the first place and I'm now 15 years older from when I sucked for the Jack Sox. I was tiring but I swung one more time and connected, and sent that fucker into the wall. It smacked and dropped to floor where it laid writhing. Oops. Didn't mean to kill it, and technically it was still alive, but still...oops. (I know some of you have no qualm with killing it, but aside from flies, ants, and the occasional cockaroach, I'm a catch and release guy.) I scooped it into a dustpan, took it to the front door, and flung it into the yard. Don't know what happened to it after that. Probably nothing good.

Mrs Tit came out from the laundry room and I was permitted to give her shit about it for the rest of the night. We tried to figure how they got into the house in the first place. That screen door has a pet flap thing so the animals can go in and out, and that's the most logical entry point. Perhaps a cat got them and brought them in. They've done that before but usually just with small lizards. All three cats and one dog could not combine their cares to give one single shit about any of this, BTW. I checked out the house this morning and can't find any weird ways that bats could get in thru the attic or duct work. There just aren't any holes I can see. Hopefully, it's a freak occurrence and it doesn't happen again since I'm clearly on my own to deal with it.

Bonus Varmint Dealings: Turns out if bats get into your house, you should open all doors and windows that lead to the outside in the room that it's in, and dim the lights. Don't turn them off, but dim them so you can keep track of the bat. Then just hang back and give it time to find its way out. They tend to fly around the middle of the room, so hang out near the walls and stay away from it. Don't ever touch it with your bare hands unless you want to be patient zero for the new Covid. If they don't find their own way out, they may eventually tire and find a place to perch and rest. At that point, use a box to trap it against the surface and slide a piece of cardboard under it to trap it in the box. Then, take it outside and release it or set it on fire, depending on what kind of person you are.

I probably would have been screaming, myself. Things with hair should not be allow to fly.

I have hair, Craig.

Did the bats poop all over the place? I had a bat once that hung from an outdoor speaker mounted from the patio ceiling. I thought it was a rat problem at first cause I kept finding what looked like rat turds everywhere and then I looked up. That was creepy enough. An indoor bat? That would’ve really given me a scare. I would’ve done what you did but screamed like you wife while doing it. I sprayed foaming wasp and hornet spray all over the one on the patio and he flew off never to be seen again. Did you know bats are protected and it’s illegal to kill them?

I did not find any bat poop anywhere, and that's good since their shit is the most dangerous part of them. We did some more investigating last night and the most logical entry point was thru the chimney. They probably got in via the roof and shimmied down and into the fireplace since our flue won't stay shut. We have that chain mail screen but it was kinda swung open on one side so they could find an easy exit. We'll find a way to keep them bastards out for good.

For the record, I texted the bat I smacked into the wall and he said he's sore but ok. Please don't call the po-po on me.

I didn't know bats were protected but it's a good idea to let them be. I think mosquitos are a good portion of their diet.

Speaking of wives freaking out over animals... We've had issues with mosquitos, spiders et al for several weeks, so last weekend I got out the Spectracide and sprayed the whole house inside and out, plus the side yard where I know mosquitos like to hang out. I reminded the wifey and kiddo that they will see more bugs than usual for a week or two, as bugs like to come out and die in the middle of the room for some reason.

Fast forward to Wednesday evening, the wife and I were in our living room recliners watching tv. She had fallen asleep and I was messing around on my phone (probably porn) when some movement over by the wifey caught my eye. I looked up to see a waterbug (big cockroach) crawling on her armrest, down onto her seat and disappear from view. I knew it would be best for me to get it before she woke up. I hit the button to un-recline my chair (cue Vivaldi). Does anyone here have electric recliners? They're nice but they take several seconds to fully recline and fully un-recline. Normally that isn't an issue but in this situation speed was a necessity. Unfortunately there isn't a turbo button to make the process speed up and before my foot rest was even halfway down I saw our crawley friend emerge on the wifey's footrest. At that time it decided the best path to take was on the wifey's bare shin. I watched in horror as he made the transition from the chair to her leg. This was not good. My chair was almost low enough for me to hop out but before I could the wifey opened her eyes...

At first she looked at me and gave me a sleepy smile. I returned her gaze with an expression of concern. Having just woken up she was confused as to why I was acting strangely, but after just a second her eyes started widening as the nerves from her shin started informing her brain of the intruder. My eyes widened with hers as I knew what was coming but felt helpless to save my poor wife. We both looked down together at her leg and saw Randy Roach cruising north to seek cover in the bottom of her PJ pants. As you might guess, she did not hit the button and patiently wait for the chair to un-recline. She screamed and started kicking, sending the bug airborne which I quickly lost sight of due to the dim light. I offered her words of comfort, telling her everything would be okay now I was finally able to get out of my chair. It didn't seem to help. The only recourse I had to save the wifey's sanity was to get rid of the source of her heightened anxiety.

Personal note: I played with a lot of bugs when I was a kid (as kids do) but roaches and spiders have always creeped me the eff out, with the exception of "daddy long leg" spiders. So I'm out of my chair and off to the kitchen to grab a paper towel to use as a shield between the roach and my delicate hand skin. When I return, I turn on the light and luckily see the little brown fucker on the coffee table. It's weak from the poison I suppose because it doesn't have a lot of pep in its step. Using the paper towel, I grab it without issue and flush it down the toilet. I disposed of him in the guest bathroom, just in case he turned out to be a really good swimmer and tried to come back. I flushed twice to make sure though.

We have a dual recliner couch thingy with those electric recliners. Yes, we got it at Rooms to Go. They certainly do not lend themselves to immediacy. But worse, have you ever been reclining in one of them when the power goes out? If you're by yourself, you can scoot/roll to the other side and then rise. If both sides are reclined, you're not getting up without breaking that thing somehow. It's better to just stay there and ride it out in comfort. Hopefully it won't be too long.

I have a half acre lot on a street with other half acre or larger lots, so I spring for an annual pest control contract. They come quarterly and any time we see bugs. It's nice because we almost never see bugs other than a semi-regular issue with ants in a bathroom when it's hot and dry.

I have a powered recliner. They're awesome, but it sucks if you need to get up in a hurry. I'm partial to the couch so I don't sit in it real often. You want to know what's fancy about ours? It has a USB jack on the side so you can charge your devices while you recline. Suck on that.

I've seen wild bats outdoors at work a few times. We got people that can deal with them.

I can't remember if I posted about this here or not. A couple of years ago we bought a living room suite from the Home Zone that was closing and moving to NRH. It's a couch, love seat and recliner combo made with "micro fiber" material. I was told micro fiber is best if you have pets, and I admit it has held up well to our 3 little doggies.

Anywho, the recliner is, well, a recliner. Both of the love seat, uh, seats, recline and the two seats on the ends of the couch reclines. We are severely over-reclined in our house. They all have the USB ports on the sides, plus the back in the middle of the couch folds down into a table, complete with cup holders, an electrical outlet, 2 additional USB ports and an overhead lamp. The middle section of the love seat has cup holders and a storage area with a hidden outlet and USB ports as well.

Our biggest issue with the power is the love seat and couch are not close to the wall, and every so often while we're reclining the power cord will pop off and leave us stranded. It is definitely a comical sight to see this fat ass have to get up when that happens.

A couple of weeks ago I was driving west on Walnut Hill just before Greenville Ave when a coyote crossed the street. It was around 4 pm. He was a rangy fella and I immediately called a coworker because we had just been talking about coyotes and bobcats and Nextdoor. There seems to be a lot of activity with this city wildlife lately. At any rate, it was pretty cool to see.

Anyhoo, our house backs up to a park. It's a fine park as far as city of dallas parks go. It has a baseball field, playground equipment for chur'in, picnic tables, and trash cans where i throw away all of my dog's bms. There are also tons of squirrels and rabbits and a creek too. About a week and a half ago I saw 2 coyotes in the park that our house backs up to. These two were on the bigger side. This sighting was not as cool to see. My wife got all freaked out and called the Coyote hotline to report it, which sounds ridiculous, but there is an actual number to call. I've been on high alert ever since as i usually do the dog walking when it is dark and early.

This past Saturday I got out a little later as the weather was mild that morning and it was nice and sunny. My dogs took an aggressive interest in something in the front yard of someone's house and at first glance I thought I was looking at the littered chicken meal leftovers thrown from a passing car. Upon further inspection this leg was too fleshy and was the hind quarter of something. Probably a rabbit, but then I noticed a little further up in the yard a furry front leg and paw that was distinctly feline. And then the piece de resistance: the decapitated earless and eyeless head of a cat. Not even sure if the skull was still there. It might have just been the face, like a cat mask facing upwards. It was bizarre, not really gory, just staged-looking like a Halloween horror scene. I've never seen anything like it. It stuck with me all day. I felt bad for the little dude. I took pictures of course. The cathead floating in St Augustine made for great text fodder.

On the Sunday morning walk, not far from the scene, I saw the first Missing Cat flyer. The owners lived a street over from the murder scene. I recognized the cat from the head shot I had taken the day before. There was a number to contact. I texted it when i got home. "Hey this is tg from your neighborhood and I might have information on your cat". It felt really melodramatic and kidnapperish, like i was arranging assorted letters from magazines and pasting them to a sheet of typing paper to mail. The owner called back immediately with hope in their voice. It was a tough call, i tell ya. She requested I text the photo to the husband so I did and he made a positive ID. RIP, gypsy. It was a really cool looking cat, like a little jaguar. I bet those coyotes got him.

Good grief, I read this story not expecting that. But you did them a favor by letting them know. I think.

A friend of mine had their good puppydog kilt by coyotes yesterday.

My first Halloween in this little town. I live really close to the school on the main drag, and I figured I'd get overrun with trick or treaters and bought a massive amount of candy. I didn't want to be known as a cheap ass.

That was a mistake. I only had three groups of kids all night long.

One of the groups was about a dozen 9th graders, and I made them take a bunch of it. A little bit later, a group of 5 kids came by, and I made them take a bunch too. And I still have way too much of it.

The Christian Right Wing is winning this fight against Halloween. Halloween will be dead in 10 years. God willing

I had never heard this story before:

When Napoleon Bonaparte visited Giza during his Nile expedition of 1798 (the story goes), he determined to spend a night alone inside the King’s Chamber, the granite-lined vault that lies precisely in the centre of the pyramid. This chamber is generally acknowledged as the spot where Khufu, the most powerful ruler of Egypt’s Old Kingdom (c.2690-2180 BC), was interred for all eternity, and it still contains the remains of Pharaoh’s sarcophagus—a fractured mass of red stone that is said to ring like a bell when struck.

Having ventured alone into the pyramid’s forbidding interior and navigated its cramped passages armed with nothing but a guttering candle, it's said that Napoleon emerged the next morning white and shaken, and thenceforth refused to answer any questions about what had befallen him that night. Not until 23 years later, as he lay on his death bed, did the emperor at last consent to talk about his experience. Hauling himself painfully upright, he began to speak—only to halt almost immediately with the words you quoted: “Oh, what’s the use. You’d never believe me.”

I thought I had cat problems when I lived in the country. A year ago, I moved to a town of 1000 people and this place has a huge cat problem. It was a daily occurrence to hear cat rape going on outside and as a result, there are cats everywhere. On a cold morning, I always honk the horn before I start the car in case one is up under the hood.

One of the neighbors took matters in his own hands and started trapping cats, taking them to Denton, and having them fixed. There's a place that charges $10 per gato. Unfortunately, he releases them back into the neighborhood.

-----------------------------

Yesterday, after a damn bizarre day of work I came home and noticed a dead squirrel in the back yard. Later on I looked out the back window and a damn cat was playing with the squirrel's body, doing wrestling moves on the thing. It was really funny to see. And there were a half dozen cats just standing around and watching the whole thing.

I went out and buried the squirrel, ending their fun.

Cat Rape Going on Outside will be the title of my first album when I start a death metal band.

I believe fix-and-release is pretty standard protocol if animal control picks up a stray cat for any reason.

I was sitting up next to my wife when I read your post last night and almost had to explain that I couldn't quit giggling over the idea of a bunch of voyeur stray cats watching another cat dry hump a dead squirrel. It gotten even worse when I laughed myself silly over my cat rape post.

You say you have a cat problem but you're not doing your part to fix it!

I miss the heyday of forruming.

Me too, pal.

All it takes is a 5-10 minute/day commitment. Who's with me???

I was with you, but I lost interest as I was making this post.

Volvo has a secret sliding drawer under the driver's seat.

If I was a teenager, I'd probably call it the rubber drawer.

Most people probably keep their weed in it.

Path of totality has been a fun term to throw around.

My total eclipse experience exceeded expectations. Can't wait for the next one.

I drove the fam to Beatrice, Nebraska in 2017 to watch a cloudy day turn dark for a few minutes. The sky in Dallas was full of clouds on Monday, too. I didn't get to see totality from start to finish but there were a few holes in the clouds were I got to see it for several seconds at a time. It was beautiful!

In 2026, we should all hop in the car and drive to Greenland. Totality for that one is supposed to last 27 minutes.

I call shotgun!

I really hope Diello played wordle today.

I've been using that word as my first forever. Yes, I played today.

<---me after playing it

Guess I need a new starting word.

Same on getting it and figuring out a new word. I’ve only been using it since Diello’s post, so wherever you are Diello, I salute you.

I don't hardly ever play Wordle any more. And I haven't used RAISE as my starting word in a long time. My go-to now is CRANE.