Every time I see a Mexican with a beard, I think it's Terd. I'm always disappointed when it's not actually him.

KY is now kept in a locked cabinet in some retail outlets.

So is the entire "family planning" department. People steal more Preparation H than they do condoms. Is that locked up yet?

The US Census created a mildly amusing city population bracket quiz like so much March Madness. I scored a 52.

https://www.census.gov/dataviz/visualizations/057/?CID=CBSM

57. Only missed one after the first round. Kiss the ring, bitches.

52. Seriously, I thought Houston had more people than Dallas. Guess I underestimated that hurricane.

Riverside ate my lunch more than once. So did Detroit—I thought everyone bailed on that place. I think Washington got me too.

52. Fuck Riverside where the fuck is that anyway fucking non-existent city

it does, Dallas just got that far because it was in a weak bracket.

When the last mammoth finally died, the Great Pyramids were already 1,000 years old.

Cleopatra lived closer in time to the invention of the iPhone than to the construction of those Great Pyramids.

When you put your finger inside your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pac-Man. I prefer using the pinky for this. It is the most natural fit.

It's nearly impossible to effectively hum if your nostrils are pinched together.

Here is what a young person's skull looks like with the baby teeth still intact:

And yes, I got lured into a buzzfeed 37 item slide show. You wouldn't believe what #29 was.

And Pinky was one of the ghosts in Pac-Man. Do you prefer to write it Pac-Man or Pacman? Though the former may be correct, I prefer the latter. My usage in my first sentence may be the first time I've ever written it that way, though I cannot confirm that.

I prefer the original PUKMAN so I can sharpie the P into an F.

I keep a pair of tweezers in my console next to me. Sometimes when I am driving I pluck nose hairs using the tweezers. After a while, tweezers lose their effectiveness at pulling nose hairs. It’s like their pinching abilities forsake them for some reason. I wonder to myself “how come?” Not these though, these tweezers are new and work great. They are black which is a fine color for a pair of tweezers. Most of my nose hairs are black while others of them are white just like the letters on my tweezers. They are inscribed as follows: tj tweezerguru. What brand off the top of your head are your tweezers? It fascinates me to see how many nose hairs a nose hair pulling session can yield. Sometimes you get a long impressive one like a piano wire. Other times I marvel at the cluster of the nose hairs I’ve pulled out. I contemplate over them for a minute and after that I wipe them on my pants leg or seat and get back after it. Some sessions bring me to tears. It can be very painful. Do y’all have any tweezer stories?

I noticed a long ear hair over the weekend. I tried to tweeze it but, like you said, tweezers lose their tweeziness over time. I could grab it but it'd slip off. Ear hairs are a more difficult job than nose hairs, mainly because of the odd angle you gotta work with. Sometimes a nose hair will come out with a big horkin' booger. I wonder if the hair alters the aerodynamic coefficient of a booger flick? I usually trim my nose hairs with a battery-powered trimmer. Does the job real nice. My nose hairs grow like a mug so I need to use it about once a week. Didn't used to be like this. It's a getting older thing. Back to ear hair, since I was struggling, I asked Mrs. Tit if she'd help and surprisingly she said yes. She went to town plucking hairs from my lobes and from that little knobby part right outside your ear hole that holds the ear buds in. Sometimes it takes a good woman to keep your ears groomed. I'm glad I got one.

I use an electric trimmer for the nose hairs, and this is an every other day thing because I'm damned obsessive about it. I used the same trimmer on my ear hairs until a couple of months ago.

I decided to goof around with tweezing the ear hairs out, and I like the results much better than with the trimmer.

My biggest problem is, my old eyes can't easily see the ear hairs. I can't see them wearing contacts or with reading glasses, or bifocals. But I can see them with no eyewear at all. It's definitely an aging thing.

Tweezing sounds painful. I too use the electric trimmer for both, but I also use the Norelco One Blade to smooth down the ear area. That razor is a blessing. It can trim my beard and shave my neck down pretty smooth with it. I haven't used a traditional razor in a year or so.

When I saw the news of Notre Dame being on fire yesterday, I immediately thought about the "Quasimodo predicted this" conversation between Bobby and Tony on The Sopranos.

Some dude fucked up with a welder or something. He better pray his name is never released to the public.

It's 4:17 am. I got up to take a leak and while peeing, felt something crawling on the side of my head. I swatted it and a scorpion fell into the toilet. I'm guessing it got into the bed with me and was on my shirt and crawled up on my pumpkin head.

That was 2 hours ago. I just went on a massive house spraying party with something called Cykick CS.

I also bought a blacklight on Amazon just now so I can see them.

Damn those things. So much for sleeping tonight.

I'd lose sleep too if I knew I had one of those Bad Boys Running Wild.

When my father first built his house out in the boonies 40 odd years ago, they had problems with scorpions for many years. I have the distinction of being the only person that has lived in that house that hasn't been stung. Same ritual everyday... don't walk around barefoot, shake out clothes before you put them on (esp shoes), always check the bed before you climb in, etc. I never got stung, and from how the pain was described to me, I hope I never will.

I Can’t Explain why, but I feel the same way.

There's No One Like You guys when it comes to jokes.

Sluggo is the most annoying dj on Sirius imo.

I might be the only person that still has Sirius.

We had the 3 month trial on Mrs. bigboy's car earlier this year and we barely used it.

Samesies. I listened to a little of the period stations (40's, 50's, 60's, etc) but mostly the Beatles station. I can tune in Beatles Radio through Tune-In or pull whatever music I want from Spotify. We saw no real need to subscribe to Sirius.

I still subscribe but don't use it much. It's good for ballgames since the MLB app kinda sucks butt. When I listen, I'm mainly an XMU and 1st Wave guy. I also like that 40s channel.

I received a one year trial. I'm in month 7. I loved it at first, I doubt I re-up.

A few years back, we bought a car that came with a 3-month trial. After 3 months it stayed active and remained active for 3 years. Then one day they turned it off so we sold the car.

I have had it for years. It's good on road trips.

I had XM for a couple of years. At first I was in love with it and thought I'd never go back to normal radio. Then it got old.

I thought it was a little silly that it would cut out when we drove under bridges. I mean this is 2015 for fucks sake.

Once Cle posts his experiences, the circle will be complete.

What am Satellite rajio?

Tool is now streaming on Pandora. Tool Radio is good.

Bug spray containing deet does not restore a murky headlight lens to a like new clearness no matter what you might read on the internet.