You can polish old headlights to remove the haze, but if you don't put a UV clear coat on it when you're done, it will just haze over again in a few months.

I bought some after market headlights a couple of years ago for my 2002 truck. I think I paid $75/ea for them. Both are still perfectly clear and it makes my old truck look a helluva lot better (plus I can actually see at night).

toothpaste works too

Have you guys noticed Englands PM looks like Trump? Weird

Black people who support trump make whites uncomfortable

Gary Larson is bringing back the Far Side.

https://www.thefarside.com/

I didn't realize he has been retired for 24 years. This should be interesting.

nice.

Did you guys not get the memo that teen girl that Walt dated sent out? She said The Far Side wasn't funny.

One Far Side that stuck with me is the kid trying to push open a door for the "Midvale School for the Gifted". The door has a sign that says "Pull".

I always liked the Cat Fud one with the dog trying to coax the cat into the dryer with the signs saying "Cat Fud". We still refer to cat food as "fud" (rhymes with Fudd). When we had a dog, it was dog fud.

Still one of my favorites. So dark.

And the dog is hiding around the corner thinking “oh please, oh please”

Dang it- shoulda quoted tit. Who knew someone else would actually be posting at the same time on rr?

I like the devil showing a man into a room full of men with banjos. Satan says, "your room is right here, Maestro." The Cat Fud one is one of my faves, too.

State inspection = passed

Auto inspection? Do you have to do the emissions testing?

I don't have to do that in the boonies of Wise County, which is surprising. They just have the bare inspection, which is cheaper.

Mundane. Shit. For you.

They don't do anything in Mississippi. No inspections, no emissions, nothing. It's weird, but MS is a weird state. Weird, sucky, and creepy.

No emissions for me. They just check the brakes, lights, and tires, I think. And the wipers. They wouldn't pass me last year because one of my wipers was ghetto.

My dad told me they don't have any inspections in Florida either. That's another weird, sucky, creepy state.

I just wanted to share some truly mundane shit.

I really like my new little school. It's a million times better than my last one. And they like me. It's a marriage made in heaven. But I have a real problem here.

There is no good place in this ISD to poop.

My QT breakfast caused a big issue this morning, so I actually went to the ratty admin building before the workers got to work.

This is a problem with no good answer, ladies and gentlemen.

I think we're pooping more as a species.

Finding a clean-ish shitter any time after 8:00 am is a Holmesian task. On a related note, I walked in the bathroom yesterday to take a #1. I opened the door and I was so overwhelmed by the stench that I ran out immediately about to vomit. We are in a nice office with a higher-caliber employee ( ), but shitting is such an equalizer. I have to think this is one of the reasons they allow us to work from home so often.

My bad, somey.

Probably someone from another floor. That's the rule, you know. You don't poop on your own floor at work. Don't want to risk someone recognizing your shoes and finding out about your high fiber diet.

At my work, we have a pretty big custodial staff and the shitters get cleaned probably twice a day, so smell has never been a problem. However, our shitters have those radar things on them that can tell when you stand up and it flushes for you. They don't always work right and some people are real dickbags and don't make sure their shit is properly purged to the sewer gods before they leave the stall. So the biggest hazard here is opening a stall door and finding yesterday's lunch floating in a bowl of pee with some wadded up bumwipe. I've learned which stalls usually feature a surprise and avoid those.

dangit. i'm eating lunch when i read that

Weird, but to each there own.

Vendors are fucking idiots.

Deer season cannot get here soon enough.

I want the hunters to thin those sumbitches out and get them off the roads. I had two really close calls on the way home from work tonight. One was a buck that was obviously preoccupied with a doe. It is that time of the year.

Some guy was tailgating me at 70 mph. When the first incident happened, I swerved and got on the brakes. He dropped way behind me and stayed that way.

Kill them.

And then this morning, a friend hit one driving to work. She was in Azle on 199 in a populated area.

Kill them.

Fuck a duck. Today it was my turn. Because of the time change, I was on the road when the sun was coming up and that is a time when they are active.

A doe came out of the tall grass and ran in front of me. I was going 70. I nearly missed it, but it caught the driver's side and ripped the molding off of the front fender off of the driver's side.

A couple of years ago, I bought a deer whistle that mounts on the grill but never put it on because I read they didn't help. I put it on this evening.

Damn it to hell.

That does suck, but I think the Hoob vs Deer chronicles will be good for the forum.

Holy shit, hoob. Be careful out there.

I had a close call a few years ago. I was driving out to Rule-by-god-Texas to clean up cousin Kenny's shit hole of a house. On one trip I was doing probably 80mph heading west in the middle of nowhere and a buck decided that kissing my truck at high speed was how he wanted to go. No trees or high grass in the area so it's not like he didn't see me. He ran out of a field, jumped the barbed wire fence, ran up to my truck and at the very last second decided to turn away. I missed him by inches. My dad was riding with me and it scared him silly. I was pissed I didn't bag a deer that trip.

My office was balls cold when I came to work this morning. It's either start wearing thermals to work, or go buy a ceramic heater for my office. I went to Walmart just now and bought a heater. To my surprise, it hasn't thrown any breakers. Yet.

I just clipped my fingernails. They look good. I get weirded out when I see dudes with longish fingernails. It's like, what's their deal, man. When I finished I turned my palms up, slowly moving my fingers. It made me think to myself, These are your hands. You are moving your hands. Sometimes I find this incredible. Tonight it seemed mundane and worth sharing. Of course they are my hands. Of course I could move them.

You should lay off the molly.

I usually keep the nails on my left hand whittled all the way down and the ones on my right hand long enough to pick guitar strings. I play like shit so I don't know why I keep my nails like that.

Does your chair at work have wheels? Mine does. It's not a wheelchair. It's just got wheels on the bottom. I may be capable, but I'm not handicapable. Jeez. You know what's fun to do while sitting in your chair? Kick that fucker away from your desk and glide backwards toward someone else's desk. Do you say backward or backwards? Ask that person you just glided over to. The only thing that sucks is you eventually gotta get your chair back to your own desk. You can turn and kick off your neighbor's desk, but that's presumptuous. Instead, you get to do that forward-moving crouch-walk back to your desk. It's impossible to look cool doing this. It's after 4:00 on a Friday and as you can see, I'm completely tapped out.

As part of sprucing up the new house, I installed a fancy shower head with a removable wand. It does wonders for being able to keep the shower clean. And better yet, it does wonders for taint cleaning.

In the teacher workrooms I sometimes see children's books for sale that are dropped off by some vendor who will pick up the orders later. Today I saw a book called "Everyone Toots" and it was exactly what I thought it was about. No idea why it was in the high school teacher's workroom.

But I did laugh.

A giant magnetic bubble around Uranus was discovered by NASA’s Voyager 2.

Kiss the rings, bitches.