Sometimes when I ride my bike and I need to get to the other side of the street, I'll turn to see if there are any cars coming a la the storm trooper from Jedi who looked behind him after the other speeder bike crashed and then stepped on the gas.

Whenever I close my garage, I wait and watch the door go down then yell out like Chewy did when Han didn't return from searching for Luke.

Sometimes I have those shits that just can't seem to get wiped clean and I don't feel bad about wasting TP in the least...

no more than 3 wipes, or you'll get hemorroids

I just stop wiping. I'll shower at some point.

I could deal with the smell, its the feeling of swamp ass followed by raw ass that I can't handle.

picked my toes. I was *not* in Poughkeepsie.

The wife called me last Friday at 5:30 and told me she needs me to come pick her up cuz she claims she swerved to avoid being hit from another car changing lanes and in doing so, ran up onto a median and blew out both tires on the driver side.

So there I am trying going to pick up little Terd pebbles from daycare en route to pick up the missus. I get to the scene of the crime only to discover she bent her front rim as well. I google tire shops in Lewisville only to discover most places close by 7 on Fridays. I manage to get the rear wheel off in time to make up to a tire shop and they put a new one on. I go BACK to her car and put it on the front so now I can at least drive it home and deal with it in the morning.

On the drive home, the steering wheel is turned counter clockwise 45 degrees and while I'm not a car dude, I know something is fucked. Every bump in the road and the car bottoms out.

I take it up to the mechanic and tells me the shocks are bent and they have to order parts. Not only that they have to send the rim off to get fixed which isn't cheap.

$400 bucks later and I finally have the car back. And to answer you question you are thinking, yes, I am getting anal tonight one way or another.

I fed ducks yesterday at Bonham State Park. Kick ass times were had.

high five!

graduated HS finally.

Congrats to him! What's next for him? I mean, aside from drinking and banging chicks.

Open a pot shop

2 years at juco to pick up the gpa, then 2 more at a four year school. (Computer Engineering degree is what it looks like)

Cool. Avoid College of the Canyons up in Santa Clarita. Dunno how it is now but it was a joke when I lived there.

It's looking like Moorpark College, the first two years. That looks like Richland by Simi, more or less.

These days there's nothing wrong with going the Juco route. Saves a shitload of money. The important thing is having a plan, which it sounds like he does.

he does have a plan (thankfully). We're gonna sit down next week and hammer out the details.
Dunno how this kid got his shit together. At his age I was sparing the world to death working convenience stores. *shrug*

Join the Army and get college money

It feels like there's a rock in my shoe, but I checked and there isn't.

I'd expect bloodier mucus or dry crustiness in these extreme temps, yet oddly enough I've experienced white swimmer's boogers lately.

Recently, we've started to experience cat boogers. Our 18-year-old cat has some sort of kitty bronchitis congestion and now she gets all up in your face and sneezes. Sometimes Kittysnot(TM) comes out with it, which is a greenish-yellow phlegm that scares the crap out of you when you see it fly out of a cat's nose. She's pretty good about cleaning up after herself, though. She's old, and we've decided to let her die.

Letting family pets die by natural causes has a certain dignity to it, provided you find the carcass within a reasonable time after rigor mortis has set in.

It may be awhile. She still eats and keeps her food down. She can jump on the bed and stuff. This is just the first time she's ever gotten the sick. It's probably a sinus infection and we all know where that can lead.

We found a family pet in the dead of winter once and the carcass was stiff as a board. In fact I had to dig the hole in the backyard a little wider just to get the legs in there too. Digging a grave for your pet sucks balls especially in 30 degree temps.

sometimes while standing at the john pissin, a fart slips out and it seems to get stuck along my taint. I have to squeeze it out, but it always seems to come out towards my baws instead of up the crack. weird stuff man.... effin weird.

Those are fun.

so are bags

Whenever they made us do jumping jacks in gym class, I'd always fart.

I went to a nice secluded break area upstairs with the sole purpose of blasting some noxious gas I'm carrying today. I stunk up the place nicely then split. As I'm walking away down the hall, about 3 people headed in there. Timing was awesome.

I use corporate codes for companies I don't work for to get better rates at hotels.

I know some for online booking.

You know, this thread IS about sharing.

wives

just finished a round of golf at the Westlake golfcourse. If nothing else, it proved the need to take lessons.
Gonna do that.

looks like a pretty fun executive course. 4900 from the tips

It seems to be a decent one for a newb like me. It only has a few holes that are par 5. Driving range uses mats, though.
Mats suck assdick.
The grass is pretty decent compared to the ghetto ass 9 hole course I started out on (but it's still good for practice)

I would love to play there on a Friday afternoon. That place would be great for working on shot making.

I just saw it's supposed to be a high of 74 in Thousand Oaks. You bastard!

Do chicks really roller blade on board walks in bikinis? I bet it would be a good place to sit back, drink some beer and watch all the tail walking around.

It's weird that americans take a dump into a bowl of water.

Yep, so you should move home to China, and shit in the hole in the floor!

how would you know that chinks do that, mr international traveler?

I saw it on your website, with all those bathroom voyer vids you posted.