Started getting the flu shot when I neared 50. STOPPED GETTING COLDS. It's probably a coincidence, but I can't deny that this happened. Every year I'd get 3-5 colds during cold season. So annoying. Not any more.

Didn't get a shot a couple of years ago because of the swine flu scare causing a shortage. Had 4 colds during cold season. It sucked.

Doctor Hoob to the nurses' dressing room, STAT. Doctor Hoob to the nurses' dressing room, STAT.

Those pull over jacket things that look like blankets that women are wearing are oddly sexy. Even more so if they didn't have on pants, were wearing a nice thong and some black leather boots.

Speaking of nurses, I was at Baylor the last few days visiting my mom in the hospital and you guys would not believe the level of hotness in nurses these days. Seeing them in scrubs kind of does something for me. I was tempted to have my mom go for a walk then get in her bed and ring the nurse button and tell them my catheter fell out.

22 year olds in scrubs get better looking as you get older. It's science.

winnar!

2% grated cheese may be less palatable, possess substandard melting attributes, and texturally seem rubbery, but that shit cements to dishware like the real mccoy. Best to pre-soak the bowl and utensil in a liquid soap and water mix if you can't clean it right away, fyi.

Many a fork has been thrown away at our house due to the adhesive qualities of fat-free cheese.

Just think of all the cheese that's caked on your innards.

Yeah, wtf is up with that? I like cheese though. I think the diced cubes of various cheeses with some sort of salami meat type product with Triscuits is underrated.

That's what Fiber One is for.

At dinner last night in this neighborhood place, they were blaring Christmas music. O Christmas Tree really was the last straw. It's a weird time, the week between Christmas and New Years. When we got home, I got motivated and took down and packed all the Christmas stuff. It feels good having that shit gone, but what a beating. Had to clean a lot too. Still seeing glitter on the floors.

We cleaned ours out yesterday and sitting back in my normal spot (where the tree was) felt amazing. But yeah, there is glitter everywhere and I don't know where it came from.

Also, why do people feel the need to buy 100 cheap things for kids? Yesterday, we were deciding what to throw away of her NEW toys because a) it was crap and b) there is no fucking room for it. I know it's fun for the kids to open a bunch of presents, but when we get home, my kid forgets about it anway. Do we really need a play grocery store cash register? We cleaned out her playroom and it's still a fucking disaster.

my kids playroom is where all the old toys go to die. but when we try to throw stuff away, they are all of the suddent interested in that toy again.

When you have daughters glitter just appears. I think they sweat it or something.

I dare you guys to find anyone on the interweb who thinks more highly of himself all while having horrendous spelling and grammar skills than Mike Bacsik's Twitter account. Go ahead and try.

I have 2 daughters and with all the glitter everywhere, you would think I spend my time at titty bars...

I follow him just to get annoyed. I finally unfollowed Hammer, but I can't seem to do it with Bacsik.

Ok, I added him. I am now following six people. If he is a prolific tweeter like Bob, he won't last 24 hours. Well, I won't last 24 hours.

I used to shave exclusively with the Gillette 5 bladed fusion, but those fucking blades were ridiculously priced and the blue stripe thing was fading weekly. It became a real pisser. One evening I was picking up just a couple of things at a nearby *Fiesta and remembered I needed blades, but the Fiesta only had Gillette Mach 3 so I changed. I noticed the blade life was up to 150% longer and a little cheaper replacements too so I was pretty happy. Yesterday tho, I got a freebie in the mail. It is a Gillette Fusion Proglide. It just feels ergonomically right in my hand when I used it this morning, had a nice weight and a return to the 5 blades gave me a super tight shave. Also, it has the reverse blade on the back that the Mach 3 lacks for those pesky areas like right up under the nostrils.







*if you read 'Fiesta' and felt uppity, I understand. Fiesta, like those Jefferson dental offices = urban like a motherfucker.

I haven't shaved in years.

The Proglide is awesome and that extra blade on the back is brilliant. Mine last a long time but that's because shaving is a beating so I only do it once a week.

once a week or so with the clippers. I look like a slob half the time but whatever.

I also shave in the shower which isn't as scary as it sounds.

I also shit in the shower which isn't as scary as it sounds.

Suddenly I'm picturing everyone on the forum in the shower.

I had to unfollow Bacsik during the Mavs playoffs. Couldn't take the robo tweeting.

Let's high-five with our beards.

I learned today that he is on the FAN some. I had no idea. Of course, I rarely listen to that station, so there's that.

You know how back in medieval times when two warring tribes or whatever they were called would attack each others castle? And you know how they would use some big long tree to ram in the door and finally break through? Well last night I had a fiber one bar and this morning while I was making the little one breakfast (pouring milk into bowl) and I felt the effects of the fiber starting to take effect (allow myself to introduce myself??). Anyway, my dook was like the battering ram and I could tell my sphinct muscles only had 2 more rams before the angry peasant made it's way out. I swear it was like I could feel it breaking through and touching my underwear before my impregnable defenses where able to send it back to where it came. I finally had enough and gave the box of Cheerios to the little one and told her to pour it into this in the bowl while I go pour something into another bowl. I swear a radar gun would have clocked the speed at which the digested Pizza Hut from Thursday night came out at like 19mph or so.

Afterwards, when the endorphins kick in, and you get that pooper's high and the tingling relief in the rectum, I tell ya, it's better than sex.

And now I'm following Rocco on Twitter. No, not R2L, but the real Rocco. I bet that doesn't last long.

Who are these assholes banging on the boards during the stars game? They annoy me.

Well fuck that. I just unfollowed Bacsik for 3 Roddy B posts in a row. Stupid ass. Oh, and I unfollowed Rocco, too.

"Do you have a Kroger card?"
"No."
"Would you like one?"
"Sure."
Clerk grabs one attached to form and scans.
"Just fill this out and bring it back next time. You saved $5.36"
"Will do. Thanks."
Toss it in trash on way to car for maybe the 3 or 4 hundreth time.

I recently used my mom's telephone number which linked to her Tom Thumb Card at the Tom Thumb gas station. It saved me more than $20 dollars but it made me feel like I just stole money from her purse or something.

"Fruitdog, we need to talk about all these savings youve been getting under my name. Now I'm going to have to get like $30 or so dollars, or somebody's about to get there ass whooped..."

I have the Kroger card I signed up for when I lived in Lewisville. If they're selling my name then whoever moved into my old house is getting a bunch of shit in the mail and I'm still saving 30 cents a gallon every time I fill up.

There is a promo on the ticket for something I don't know right now but there is a song bed playing underneath that I can't get out of my head.

She says the line "the party don't stop" and then this beat kicks in and I find myself having to get up and do pelvic thrusts and act like I'm in da club dancing behind a girl with my hand on her waist.

I finally found it and thought I would share for your enjoyment.

http://getmziki.com/beta/2011/09/17/cam ... exclusive/

One time at a Macy's I was overcome by a song and did a little shoulder shimmy cause no one was around. I was mortified when some open moufed dickwad was staring at me and dancing too, but just plain bummed when I realized it was a mirror and the dickwad was me. Today I bought some stuff at Home Depot and went through the self checkout. Get your pose on cause they had little monitors above the self checkout screen so you get to watch yourself make a transaction. I felt the lighting made my face look flushed.

Home Depot just north of Plano Parkway? I'm always in there buying stuff I don't need.

Nah, fort worth. I'm an 817er.