but not your ability to drink it.

you got me there.

I should've known that.
*heads to youtube to watch some Schoolhouse Rock*

out of love, of course.

Good move. And, but and or will get you pretty far.

in your face

I guess I already goofed. I didn't know we were playing the quiet game. :/

I think it was supposed to work like reverse psychology or something, but it didn't work.

so, um, this place is still dead.

Tit went on vacation and unfriended us.

Wednesday evening I had some garbage issues. Issue #1 involved dog poop. Wednesdays are trash pick up days and when I get home from work on Wed. the first thing I do is head out to the front curb to retrieve my city of FW trash receptacles (*please note the 's' is bold; yes I have 2 trash bins: 1 is for garbage/the other is for recycling )Sometimes it looks like the trash man goes out of his way to sling those fucking things around and leave the street in shambles. Does your trash man do this too? Anywho, I as was picking up the general garbage bin I noticed appx. 3-4 bags of walmarks style plastic bags that were stuck to the bottom of the bin. The bags contained dog #2 in them. The smell was god-awful as they have been percolating daily in +90 degree heat. No way these bags could stay for another week so I tumped the bin upside down and rammed it over and over on the street until they became unstuck and fell out. Then I went inside and got a tall kitchen trash bag and put the poop bags in it and set it aside to deal with later. Issue #2 involved watermelon. I love watermelon. It is a delicious and juicy summertime treat. I can eat a ton of watermelon too. It makes me pee a lot tho, and boy howdy is it a stool softener the next day so I think it's safe to say the captain loves him some watermelon too. We had a watermelon set aside for dessert on Wed. night. I looked forward to it. When I cut the watermelon in half I was immediately disappointed....the watermelon was overripe and mealy. Yuck. The whole freakin watermelon was trash. I did not want to put the watermelon in the bin either and have it stink the area up for a week and be a breeding ground for maggots. That would be disgusting so I put the watermelon in the bag with the dog poop and threw the bag in the back of the work truck. My plan was to drop the bag off in a trash can of a city park before heading out to work yesterday morning. It was a solid plan and to have that stress settled allowed me to sleep. Whew- crisis averted. What my plan did not include was crossing paths with the biggest snapping turtle I'd ever laid eyes on.
That's right, I saw the biggest snapping turtle of my life yesterday morning. Unreal. Holy moly, I bet its shell alone was the size of a toilet seat. I would have photographed it when I saw the turtle but I did not have my cellie with me (my phone has a camera, does yours?)as I was running an unconventional errand. Here is a pic of the toilet seat from our master bath for scale and putting things in perspective:

big, huh? Did you know I'm an Aquarius? also, here is a pic of a big snapping turtle (not the one I saw) enjoying life for the important "human element" of my story:

Too cool.
So I had just pulled into a parking lot of a small park just down the road from the zoo and right next to the Trinity River and thrown away my trash when I spotted it from the corner of my eye. At first I didn't think it was real. I drove right up to it and gawked. It was dead too. Its head was at least as big as a cat, or maybe like a small dog like a terrier. Also, it had been shot. In the head. I'm no ballistics expert, but somebody had shot it with what appeared to be a type of bullet from some kind of caliber of gun. It was an image that stuck with me all day yesterday. Weird how random things can bring you to a place to see things and learn lessons, dontcha think? Some people in this world, they see a big ole turtle and their hearts are kind and they want to save it like these two sweethearts:
"hey mr. turtle, you're gonna get runt over, shoo shoo"

Other peoples, whose hearts are full of evil see a turtle and blow it the damn hell away, like what I witnessed:
(again, not the turtle I saw, but murdered nonetheless)


what kind of person will you be today?

I'm not one for senselessly killing animals but snapping turtles are mean motherfuckers.

THat's weird. I stopped to help a turtle across the road this morning. THen I saw a road runner run across the road.

When I was a pup we'd shoot turtles in meh grandparents' ponds. Dang things would eat up all the fish otherwise, mmmhmmm.

They used to take big chunks out of our minnows when we would go crappie fishing. Sometimes they wouldn't let go and you had to cut bait or knock them off with a stick or something. I fear the snapping turtle.

My dad caught a turtle at one of said ponds. It tried to swallow the hook but it jammed in this throat. I still remember watching in horror as my dad stretched out that suckers neck a good 6-8 inches from his shell and sliced it open to get the hook back. Bad day for that turtle.

Snapping turtles can live up to 30 years.

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