Fun with Craig's list

TerdFerguson · **Posted:** Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:53 am

rowdyhatinwalt wrote:

I'm gonna make you listen to all of my Eddie Murphy music cds.

Boogie in your butt?

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

put your mouth on me.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

From the free stuff section. Sorry about the all caps:

DO YOU KNOW OF ANYBODY THAT COULD USE 1 SHOE? THEY ARE SIZES 5-7 AND THEY ARE NEW. I WANT THEM TO GO TO A GOOD CAUSE LIKE PEOPLE THAT MIGHT HAVE ONLY ONE FOOT. tHEY ARE MEN'S AND WOMENS. iT IS A BIG TRASH BAG FULL OF THEM.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

20 bizarre Cragis list ads

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

Hoob had a quickie!!

14) My teeth
"I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night. I gave you my number but did not get yours. Please call me asap. I need my teeth. We met in the parking lot of Margarita Jones. Get back to me asap please. Thank you."

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

rowdyhatinwalt wrote:

Hoob had a quickie!!

14) My teeth
"I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night. I gave you my number but did not get yours. Please call me asap. I need my teeth. We met in the parking lot of Margarita Jones. Get back to me asap please. Thank you."

Wow. My mind is trying to picture the circumstances of how this one happened and the picture is not good.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

I like seeing who posts on Sunday mornings. This one is gold:

Pregnant, but single (29)

IF YOU ARE A PERV LOOKING TO DRINK BREASTMILK NO THANK YOU YOU NASTY NASTY PERV.That really is stealing from a baby what kinda sick selfish person would steal from a baby.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

jim jack wrote:

I like seeing who posts on Sunday mornings. This one is gold:

Pregnant, but single (29)

IF YOU ARE A PERV LOOKING TO DRINK BREASTMILK NO THANK YOU YOU NASTY NASTY PERV.That really is stealing from a baby what kinda sick selfish person would steal from a baby.

so was there a number? um, cuz terd wanted to know.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

Glad I didn't post her pic. It's already been deleted.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

Im 5'6'' and slightly thick, DEFINITLY not fat tho lol
Im just looking for a Sugar Daddy to buy me breast implants
I can be as discret as you want

Your pic gets mine

Reply with "Sugar Daddy" in the title or I won't read it

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

Maybe I have finally learned for good:

All people are evil and nothing good comes from them getting together.

(Go ahead and flag, you faggotbait pieces of shit, and then post pictures of what pass for your hypocritical dicks-or look at pictures of others....)

Yeah, yeah, right - MY attitude.

Save it - I used to be nice.

I hate you all.

Hoob's comment: :meltdown:

Sweet Greggo · **Posted:** Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:43 pm

holy crap, where's the bubblebath?

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

From the musician's section:

I want to be in a heavy as fuck band designed to do nothing more than spread the hopeless feeling of absolute fucking despair any normal person should feel living around here. I'll write lyrics and produce various horrible screaming noises. I need someone to provide the guitars, bass and drum parts.

It'll help if you like Converge, Botch, Pig Destroyer, Big Black, Curl up and Die, Coalesce or maybe some slower shit I don't listen to. I'm thinking something like the slower Converge songs off Jane Doe and You Fail Me, with clearer vocals, and dirtier, but we'll figure it out

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

Women looking for men:

Hi,
My name is Shelly. I just got out of a really bad relationship and am looking for a guy that is not a bum.

About me: I'm 19years old 4ft 10in weigh about 180lbs long straight/curly (depeding on how i want it done) brown hair (probly soon to be died midnight black), hazel eyes, 38DDD chest size.

Sweet Greggo · **Posted:** Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:43 pm

That's a lot of tits.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

alot of Tit's what?

Tit Whistle · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:50 am **Posts:** 15284

I would.

TerdFerguson · **Posted:** Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:09 am

You would probably shit on her tits.

Tit Whistle · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:50 am **Posts:** 15284

Gross, dude. I was just gonna throw a cup of deer piss on her face.

cap · **Posted:** Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:50 am

Tit Whistle wrote:

Gross, dude. I was just gonna throw a cup of deer piss on her face.

how much would it be for the deer to piss in my face?

Tit Whistle · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:50 am **Posts:** 15284

cap wrote:

Tit Whistle wrote:

Gross, dude. I was just gonna throw a cup of deer piss on her face.

how much would it be for the deer to piss in my face?

vbear · **Posted:** Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:03 pm

cap wrote:

Tit Whistle wrote:

Gross, dude. I was just gonna throw a cup of deer piss on her face.

how much would it be for the deer to piss in my face?

How much would it cost me to mount one?

TerdFerguson · **Posted:** Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:18 pm

like a Sybian?

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

From the musician's section. Subject: Transsexual Rock! Vocalist looking for a band. (Dallas)

Hey everyone,

I am a transsexual singer, songwriter, musician and I have an idea... I want to put together a band to workout a song that will not leave my head. And I think its for a reason. It's punkish-pop, simple, but catchy as hell. I welcome anyone who wants to be involved in the project in some form or fashion. I don't have jam space or any equipment, etc. Ideally you're already a tight band lacking a vocalist. It doesn't matter your gender, but you must be ok with a gender bending tranny as a frontwoman. I would like to record the demo ASAP and shop the concept.

And here's one of its pictures:

Hoob.

Sweet Greggo · **Posted:** Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:30 pm

what the hell, worked for tim curry.

Trained Goucho · **Posted:** Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:04 am

http://shreveport.craigslist.org/hab/1455777818.html

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

Giving away Maxipads? Dayum that's funny.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

From the free stuff:

I have 1 unopened bottle of Spring Valley Orange flavored cod liver oil free to a good home!

FREE PEPSI CANS, IM IN LANCASTER OFF I 45 SOUTH CLOSE TO WILMER , FERRIS , RED OAK, I DRINK A LOT OF PEPSIES WANT SOME ONE TO PICK THEM UP EVERY 2 WEEKS OR ONCE A MONTH THANKS. email me at sdelay1@yahoo.com

bigboy · **Joined:** Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:57 pm **Posts:** 7484

I immediately thought of Hoob when I read this article.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

bigboy · **Joined:** Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:57 pm **Posts:** 7484

I still can't quit laughing about the "vagina packed full of salt" ad.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

bigboy wrote:

I still can't quit laughing about the "vagina packed full of salt" ad.

oh my god. that one is the winner.

Sweet Greggo · **Posted:** Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:36 pm

bigboy wrote:

I still can't quit laughing about the "vagina packed full of salt" ad.

as long as it's kosher.

bigboy · **Joined:** Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:57 pm **Posts:** 7484

I like the disclaimer on the bathtub full of noodles ad saying that you must provide your own footwear.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

This is a message to let all area bands and musicians know to be carefull before you except a request to perform for Mrs. Tiggy Winkle's Hedgehogs show in 2010. They do not pay for your services even if they had an agreeement to pay you in advance. Be sure to get your money up front if you want to get paid.

Hoob's comment: I've only been stiffed once for a show. Once.

jim jack · **Joined:** Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm **Posts:** 8919

SUBJECT: CHRISTIAN BATTLE OF THE BANDS

**** ATTENTION ALL MUSICIANS ****

Beware of fraud / false advertising for the Battle of the Bands events at LMS Arena in Cleburne Texas.

My son's band participated in the Battle of the Bands event there this past Saturday (11/21) and they were told they won the $500 for first place. However, the management team there told them that they had to stay to 6 pm (for 8 hours) to get their money. They played 5 sets of songs from 10 am to 6 pm and then the LMS Arena Management said they did not have the money. They were given $80 after being there for 8 hours. The solo artist (a friend of management... go figure) got $50. The management even said they pre-sold 300 tickets to my son's band and they told the solo artist that they pre-sold 1500 tickets. There were less than 5 people there!!!!!

DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY BATTLE OF THE BAND EVENT AT THE LMS ARENA!!!!!!

Hoob's comment: Battle of the bands events are almost always ripoffs. Even the "Christian" ones.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

jim jack wrote:

SUBJECT: CHRISTIAN BATTLE OF THE BANDS

**** ATTENTION ALL MUSICIANS ****

Beware of fraud / false advertising for the Battle of the Bands events at LMS Arena in Cleburne Texas.

My son's band participated in the Battle of the Bands event there this past Saturday (11/21) and they were told they won the $500 for first place. However, the management team there told them that they had to stay to 6 pm (for 8 hours) to get their money. They played 5 sets of songs from 10 am to 6 pm and then the LMS Arena Management said they did not have the money. They were given $80 after being there for 8 hours. The solo artist (a friend of management... go figure) got $50. The management even said they pre-sold 300 tickets to my son's band and they told the solo artist that they pre-sold 1500 tickets. There were less than 5 people there!!!!!

DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY BATTLE OF THE BAND EVENT AT THE LMS ARENA!!!!!!

Hoob's comment: Battle of the bands events are almost always ripoffs. Even the "Christian" ones.

Let's back up a step.

Battle of the Christian Bands? So, take bands that are worse than Creed, and give them a public venue?
There is no worse musical genre out there than Christian Rock.
Christian rock makes me want to abort fetuses. With my teeth.

Diello · **Joined:** Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:27 pm **Posts:** 2878

So you're saying no to Stryper and yes to devouring a pregnant woman's uterus? Just want this for the record.

rowdyhatinwalt · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:04 pm **Posts:** 20439

Diello wrote:

So you're saying no to Stryper and yes to devouring a pregnant woman's uterus? Just want this for the record.

I would eat a woman's uterus plumb out if it meant I avoided Petra.

Sweet Greggo · **Posted:** Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:07 pm

What's wrong with christian rock?

Put a donk on it!

Tit Whistle · **Joined:** Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:50 am **Posts:** 15284

Diello wrote:

So you're saying no to Stryper and yes to devouring a pregnant woman's uterus? Just want this for the record.

C'mon, you KNOW Walt had To Hell with the Devil blasting in his Camaro while he cruised the streets of Waco in the late 80s.

Stu · **Joined:** Thu Oct 06, 2005 9:36 pm **Posts:** 3832

Christian rock battles are just a bunch of dudes with trumpets and the first one to knock down a wall of plastic cups wins.

Fun with Craig's list

Who is online