You should totally take advantage of her.

What if she looks like a shaved Wookiee?

Nobody has to know....

You've got a point.
*heads outside to wait for ice cream truck*

I sneezed into the crook of my arm. Do you do that?

Top 5 shittiest days of the year to work that I sometimes get stuck working:

5. Good Friday (sometimes coincides with baseball opening day)
4. New Year's Day
3. New Year's Eve
2. July 4th
1. Friday after Thanksgiving

6. The 1st day back after Christmas and New Year holidays.

Never. I always sneeze into my hand, my right hand, even tho I am left handed. What handed are you? My thumb and index finger usually clasp my nostrils while the remaining three fingers cover the mouth to collect respiratory secretions. Sometimes sneezes hurt my back. I like when unexpected farts are included with sneezes. Those kinds of farts can be real painful too tho. My most recent sneeze occurred this morning when I was shaving the back of my neck to clean up that collar fuzz. I was unable to cover and just sneezed all over the place. How many times a day do you think you sneeze? I've never really thought about it or even if I sneeze daily. Maybe I'll start a sneeze journal.

Ever sneezed while brushing your teeth? Lord, what a mess!

I have never shaved the back of my neck. Feeling back there right now it's pretty smooth. I just got my hair cut last week. I do that every 18 months or so. I'm very busy. I don't have a lot of time. Usually I go to this little miracle who owns her own salon in downtown Wylie but she's hella hard to book these days so I went to Sports Clips instead. You ever been there? That place is a fucking whip. They like to force sports talk on you and those chicks don't know shit. Since it was my first time there, I got the Varsity treatment for JV price I guess. My haircutter's name was Tashima or Tashina, I don't recall. She was white despite that name which means she was probably raised in a trailer park. She wasn't bad, though. I would've, ya know? So I just wanted a cut but she dragged out all this hot towel shit and then I got a massage with one of those wands you can buy at Bed Bath & Beyond for around $30. You ever shop there? I kinda like that store. Anyways, turns out I got a good haircut, but I probably won't ever go back there.

I usually avoid working on the first day after the holiday break since I don't work on Mondays.

I get a haircut about every 4 weeks. I go to a real barber shop and I've been going to the same one for about 10 years or so. I like it because the guys that work there cuss a lot and I always hear something pretty offensive. I've only had a bad haircut once and that was when I was in a hurry and I let the owner's dad cut my hair. He was shaking something fierce and he left all kinds of scraggly long hairs and a landing strip down the middle of my head. I generally wait on the same barber, but the other guys that aren't all Parkinsonsed up do a good job. I get a straight up buzz cut - #1 on top, 0 on the side. Anyone else here get a buzz cut?

I bought my own clippers about 15 years ago and haven't been to a barber since. Every couple of weeks I just run a #2 blade over the whole head. I like the #1 blade but the wife gets pissed when I go that short.

Sometimes I read this thread if I can't get to sleep

What about nose hairs? I have a trimmer for those. Gotta use it at least once a month. It'll take care of ear hair too and trim those eyebrow hairs that for some reason grow three times longer than the other ones.

I have an electric nose and ear hair trimmer and I use it every week or so. I let the barber mow down my eye brows, but every once in awhile I get a renegade that needs trimming.

Careful using a beard trimmer for your eyebrows. One time the setting slipped from 3 to 0 and my old man went without eyebrows for a while

I remember my old man did that one time and I was all like "yo pops, what's with the brows?"

What was it like being taught my Mr. Kotter?

It seems like a lot of people are off today.

We just had a power outage. Everything suddenly out. Fortunately I saved about a minute before it happened.

Speaking of power outages, I changed out 2 light bulbs yesterday, and yes, it was for recessed lighting. We have quite a bit of recessed lighting. My wife observed that not all of the recessed light bulbs were uniform. Some of them are new fluorescent bulbs and look like squigley pig tails. I don't care for fluorescent lighting. Other bulbs are old school style. Some are whiter. Some are brighter. Another annoyance is size. Some bulbs fill out their housing more than others or hang out of it. Some of the trim isn't flush with the ceiling. She was kind enough to point all these things out to me. Watts up with chicks sometimes?

I filled up my truck this morning. 27 gallons for $31. Paid $1.14/g (with $.50 Kroger discount). Of course I posted it to FB, right in between my extended family's posts of how low gas prices cost thousands of jobs and how ISIS oil is what's driving down the cost to $30/barrel.

So it's better for the common man to pay $3-4/gallon than to save that money and spend it elsewhere? Sounds like oil executive logic to me. I bet Cods could explain it so I'd understand.

He could but then you'd want to punch him in the pussy.

I hope he's dead

Whoa! He's a bad person, but not Satan.

Satan isn't that bad.

I'd have a beer with him for sure.

shock value

You're right. Fixed.

ISIS

watch out they're gunna gitya!!

this country deserves her

deserves who?

Yeah, I'm a real shit for resorting to a bit while posting...

Look at the stock market

Kick posting 101

We were just hanging out outside a break area which is around the corner and down the hall from a set of restrooms when a big, fat, old dude walking with a Gandalf cane hobbled out of the men's room and made his way toward a training room. We had never seen him before, but it's obvious he's in the building for a bit of schooling on some product of ours. The cane was the curious oddity which caught our eyes, but as he walked away from us we couldn't help but notice the dark wet spot on the back of his trousers right over his blowhole. We all noticed and fell silent as we agreed with quick looks to not talk about it. A shudder rumbled through us, and we dispersed to our separate areas, collectively thinking that this was the last thing we needed to witness so close to lunch time.

?

For the second time this week, I slept the whole night thru, without even a single pee break. That's rare. I tell ya, I feel like a hundred bucks.

You might want to ask your doctor to check for diabetes

No way he has the diabetus. He's fit and trim. It's probably a swollen prostate.