sounded like a single chris chris buff man

Nah, you're just jealous it wasn't dedicated to you.

I saw a bunch of Murican flags being set up yesterday around town and I wondered what the hell that's for. Then last night, Mrs Tit mentioned that her work wanted everyone to wear red white and blue clothes today. I asked why, and she said because 9/11. Oh yeah, I thought.

Sorry America, I forgot.

I remembered you, America.

I wouldn't dress up for work though.

On second thought I probably would, but you can bet your fat ass my wife would've gotten an earful of bitching while I was getting dressed.

This ain't the forth of jew fucking lye.

My trash days are Monday and Thursday. No bins, so I just set out bags. Recycling is on Thursday and we just got big green rolling containers earlier in the summer. I use it since it's easy to roll out, but curb side recycling is largely a vanity effort. The vast majority of what gets picked up ends up in a landfill.

Back when we were working hard to pay off all of the stupid credit card debt we acquired in our 20s, I said there were 2 things that I would pay someone to do when we got out of the hole: house cleaning and yard work. Our house cleaners come every other Tuesday. We're looking for someone new because the level of service keeps getting worse by the month. They do a lot of good detail work that other cleaners won't do unless you pay extra like baseboards, fans, and blinds, but they suck at the basics like dusting furniture and the walk in shower. My yard guy comes every 2 weeks and is kick ass. I always pay him a little extra in the fall and spring to clean out the gutters and pick up the leaves.

I'm sure my city has watering days but I couldn't tell you what they are. I water when I feel like it and no one has ever fucked with me about it.

Although I haven't had it in a while, one of the more senseless recurring dreams I've had is one where I am walking around barefoot in disgusting bathrooms looking for a spot to relieve myself. Usually it's #1. The floors are always tiled and covered in an overflow of bathroom yuckiness. This morning I went to pee (yes, I was wearing shoes) at my neighborhood LA Fitness. Well what do you know, the first stall across from the urinal I pass and some dude was taking his morning constitutional and he was not wearing any shoes or socks. That's disgusting.

Did you see any shorts around his ankles? He could've been buck naked, or maybe Donald Duckin' it. Regardless, not wearing shoes in a public restroom is over-the-line gross.

Come to think of it, I saw no shorts. He's probably one of those holds his nuts up to the hand blower types too.

It was kind of a rough morning. People were pissy. Didn't want to go to school. Forgot homework last night. Buncha shit, I tell ya. Titette was especially mopey. I offered to drive her to school and she accepted that. There's a Starbucks right by her school, so I asked her if she wanted one. She said yeah, so I loaded the online app with an extra $10 so we could get a couple drinks. The line wrapped around the building, but it moved pretty fast. We ordered and moved forward one car length every few moments. When we were next in line for the window, I noticed the person in front of us was eyeing me in her side mirror. She looked like a mom, but she was cute, maybe in her mid-30s with straight blonde hair. She kept looking back, and it wasn't a quick glance. She was looking at me. I had my shades on, so I looked right back the whole time. I totally would've if I weren't married, and, ya know, stuck at the drive-thru. She got her order and pulled away. I pulled forward and got my phone out to pay, but the barista--that sounds dumb but it's their actual title--told me the lady in front of me paid for my order. So we got free Starbucks this morning. And it's because I'm still sexy. This old dog's still got it.

Epilogue: While still in shock from this minor fortune of generosity, I checked to see who was behind me in line. It was some Mexican lady all by herself in an old minivan. I told the barista I'd like to pay for the person behind me provided their order was less than $15, because that's all I had on my account. The barista checked and it was $17-something. I said screw it, I'll get them next time and drove away. Next time don't order the moon, lady. Now I kinda wonder if there was a Pay It Forward chain going on and I broke it. If so, I don't care because that movie was fucking stupid.

Yea, you were probably the 30th or so in the chain. Thanks, asshole.

That bit is stupid, especially if it's a chain where everyone is pretty much breaking even. What's the point? I would reject the free coffee regardless and demand to pay for my own. I don't go to Starbucks though.

So you guys are saying I'm not actually sexy?

^not a socialist^

I'd buy you an iced half caff ristretto venti cinnamon dolce 4-pump sugar-free soy skinny latte anytime, big fella.

That's my fave!

I love starbuck's. My go to drink is an Americano with an extra shot. That's right, an extra shot of espresso. No one has ever paid for mine though.

you queers just need to drink black coffee like a man

There's a guy here at work who adds like 8 shots of espresso to his venti every morning. Yeah, he's super high energy, especially for a dude in his 60s. I've seen him in the restroom and he can destroy a commode. Seriously, don't go in there after him. He's also a Dodgers fan, but otherwise he's really cool. His name is Bruce.

You just need to stop over compensating for something.

It's a boring Friday and there's no one on any forums to entertain me.

I got really excited when I saw there was a fresh post to read.

I like reading your posts.

Before I booted the bitch cunt out of my house, We were going through 1 of the xlarge package of toilet paper a month.
Since then (Feb) Lil Cle & I have only had to buy 1 xlarge package and we just ran out. That's almost 7 months.
Bitches use a lot of TP, WTF!

Is the xlarge package the 18 rolls that are really 36? Oh, and I concur.

We bought a 9-pack last weekend that claimed it held the TP equivalent of 36 rolls! I bet we got suckered on that one.

Also, when a roll is exhausted, what do you do with the little cardboard roll? I ask because the floors around our shitters tend to be littered with those fucking things. No one can be bothered to just toss it into the trash. I imagine they can be recycled and that's where the confusion lays, because we don't keep recycle bins in our loos. We keep ours in our pantry on the floor next to the kitchen trash. Anyhoo, that paper rings on the floor wouldn't have flown at my parents house when I was a kid. But we didn't recycle back then either.

We would sometimes recycle glass soda bottles because you could get money back for that in NY. We called it soda, but I knew some kids who called it pop.

At least your family takes them off the holder. My family just leaves them there and if they need a new roll of toilet paper, they put it on the back of the toilet until I (the only non-lazy person in my house) take the cardboard roll off and throw it in the trash and replace it with the new roll of paper. I don't like soft toilet paper. I do recycle, but I never thought to throw that cardboard roll in the bin.

I throw the little roll in the recycler box. It is a cardboard box under the sink in the kitchen. Our kitchen trash can slides out like a drawer from our fancy cabinets. Sometimes I look through the little cardboard rolls when I'm walking it to the recycler, like its a telescope. Other times I talk in it and my voice sounds different, and then even other times I make trumpet noises in it.

You win, dude. Shut the forum down.

I don't recycle.... There I said it.

I recycle but I always feel like a degenerate when I walk out to the recycling dumpster with a cardboard box full of empty whiskey bottles and a trash bag full of empty beer bottles.

The wifey used to work at the dump in Lewisville. She said practically all of the "recycle" stuff end up in the landfill.

They were just talking about WAZE on WTDS. I don't use WAZE. I have an old school Garmin. That's right, not a TomTom, but a Garmin. I keep it on the lady voice. Sometimes you can't shut that bitch up. Other times she doesn't say enough. I've dog cussed her more than once. I refer to her as her Dori. Dori is always plugged in and her battery stays charged. There is a suction cup thing that sticks to the windshield that dori attaches to. During nighttime driving the colors on the screen are beautiful. Green is for grass. Blue is for water. Sometimes pink is prominent, not sure why. Dori also displays things like direction and my speed and goes ding ding if I am exceeding the limits. Lately, the suction cup has been failing and the set up will just plop off the windshield out of the blue and frighten me. It fell the other day and Dori was separated from the mounting piece, the suction cup apparatus. I can't find it anywheres. I'm afraid I lost it forever.

I've used Waze a few times, enough to earn an upgrade for my avatar. I chose the zombie because I like zombies. If you see a zombie coming down the street on Waze, wave because it's me. I'm not always on there because that fucking thing sucks your battery down to nothing.

I use Waze errday. I drive through the airport where the cops abound. The police reports on Waze are usually accurate. Also I get an idea of traffic flow at a glance. Plus sometimes they have celebrity voices. Right now Stephen Colbert and Neil Patrick Harris are featured. A couple of months ago they have Ahnold. I liked Ahnold.

I keep a charger in the truck so I don't kill the battree.

I use the nerd avatar with the glasses and cowlick. I used to use the zombie. I charge my phone while wazing.

RE:

The low battery light indicator is displayed on our *digital thermostat. This dominated the thoughts and fears of my wife who made it her daily priority to remind me. (It had two bars of power showing.) I picked up a pack of *lithium Energizers. I replaced them, four in total. They were AA in size. I arranged them correctly according to the + and - guide displayed under the battery cover. It still showed two bars of power with the new batteries. Well, nothing changed. There is no reset button. I don't know the brand of thermostat. When we got our burglar alarm installed (*) I was upselled on their thermostat so I could set the temps remotely from my *iPhone 3 It is now showing only 1 bar of power. What happens next? What would you do if confronted with this situation? Digital thermostat owners only, please.

* =