Even weekdays???

ESPECIALLY on weekdays.

Regular sex, huh? Welp, see ya later!

Im single now..... just sayin.

While watching the Cowboys lose on Thanksgiving, my brother and I amused ourselves by talking in the voice that Rhyner uses to criticize Tony Romo. My dear mother thought we were being serious and was offended by it.

I'm watching a show highlighting the 50th anniversary of A Charlie Brown Christmas. It is hosted by Kristen Bell and she is causing all sorts of havoc in my crotch spot area.

That was on at our house last night and she looked hella cute.

At my work, we have our own little radio station that plays music by the front and rear entrances and other certain parts of the building. It's not so much a radio station as it is someone's playlist of awful, middle of the road, Jack-FM lite garbage. You'll hear a lot of Eagles and Don Henley on this thing. This morning as I walked in (I prefer the rear entry), they were playing...you guessed it, That Chattahoochee Song.

Did that song get stuck in your head?

I did not. Being a country music hater, I don't know it all that well.

I like country music ok and I like Alan Jackson, but that one was a bit of a misstep.

I'm ok with some older country, but once it switched from being "from the South" to being "about the South", I had no use for it.

Odd choice since it is no longer hotter than a hoochee coochee.

we have the same thing playing in the lobby of our building and it is terrible. I swear it's some soccer mom's playlist or something. I never hear a song I like.

I was in India recently and stayed at a pretty nice hotel. Funny thing was, while I was eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant, there was background music playing quietly over the overhead speakers.

I thought it was funny that they were playing rap. It was even funnier when the rap song started repeating "Work that N-word" over and over. (The song said the real thing, not "N-word").

I looked around, and people are just going about their business, eating their shitty Indian food and paying no attention to the music.

Work sends logo'd shirts to wear, some polo style and some button down. I'm usually in favor of this practice. I hate these, however. They are the bitchiest of bitch red you can imagine. Fucking red. I can't pull it off. I accidentally hit face time on my iPad and got a most unflattering image. The overpowering red flushes my flawless complexion, making me look like a tomato faced dude with high blood pressure. I wore a polo today. The button downs have black buttons. Cheesy. The polos are Nike golf, nice material. They sent 5, but I ruined one. I put it on in a hotel room one morning and it looked wrinkly so I hit it with the iron and it left an iron impression on it. Kinda burned me too. Always take shirts off to iron, fellas.

I'm wearing a polo today too.

What are you wearing today and did you see the North Face founder died of hypothermia in the Patagonia region? That's like, ironic or something. Do you own a N. Face jacket? I do not own a North Face coat. I saw one at Marshall's last year, but I did not buy it cause it was grey and orange. I do not have a heavy coat, and yes, that's a Christmas hint.

Today I am wearing a red pocket tee. It's pretty much polos or pocket tees for me everyday all year. I do not own any North Face apparel, but I prefer to not have any writing or emblems on my clothing. I may be as big as one, but I'm not a billboard, people.

If you live in Texas and own a North Face jacket, you are a moron. I don't need a hundred dollar coat to keep me warm on the 5 days of the year that it's too cold for a $10 Old Navy hoody to not do the job.

Is this an aging thing? I used to own several big ass coats when I was in my twenties. Now, I have a lined windbreaker that I wear the entire winter.

I live in Texas and I own TWO north face fleeces and I wear them fairly often. They are warmer than the other fleece items I own.

I didn't wear a jacket or fleece today. I did wear a long sleeve polo shirt tho. It's dark green with some subtle grey strips and I like it.

I don't own a heavy coat. If it's really cold I just wear a hoody or fleece under a rain coat I own that works as an outer shell. It works pretty well for those rare super cold days.

I wore shorts to work today. I may be a moron.

I want a big coat for the dog walks. It gets real cold sometimes, but I gotta walk 'em. Those little shitbird terriers aren't opposed to rocking an indoor deuce if the outside conditions aren't to their liking. These wearable sleeping bags off that this is why I'm broke site look cozy.

http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/wearable-sleeping-bag

that website is full of craziness: http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/ Ive wasted an hour browsing that sumbitch.

Do you like candles? I love candles. There are a lot of different kinds of candles too. Some of them are packed in glass and have scent labels and pictures on them. That's the kind that is burning next to me right now. It is from the Simply Home Yankee Candle series. It's flavor smell is apple cinnamon wreath. These kinds of candles also have lids on them. In stores I will pick up all kinds of candles and take their lids off and smell them. When I pick them up off of the shelf, I flex my bicep like it is real heavy so i don't look like some pansy fag that likes to smell candles. Do you know what? I just dipped my finger in the melted wax and swirled my finger around to where half of my finger got coated in glorious ruby red candle wax. It felt pleasantly warm to the touch. After it dried I pulled it off. It made a finger mold, unique to my finger. I also smelled my finger. It did not smell like apple cinnamon wreath. It smells more like cherry Starburst breath. Dried candle wax is not like rubber cement. If you try to roll it up to make a wax booger it just crumbles up and is messy. Do y'all have candles in your house?

We have a candle or two around the house, but we also have a few of those warmers that use a small light bulb to warm up a bowl of candle wax. The wife spilled one on the kitchen counter one time when she was trying to clean it out and it was a pain in the ass to clean up.

We have a wellness program at work where you earn points to reduce your insurance costs. If you get enough points your insurance is free. So, part this include these seminars local 'Doctors' provide. I use the term doctor loosely. They're chiropractors. They are whack jobs. They call themselves 'doctor' 'I'm doctor smith', 'here is doctor garcias' blah blah blah. All it is a sell job for their practice. 'You'll be sick for life if your spine is out of sorts'. BS. You're not a doctor! They are worse than used car salesmen.

cap: knows more than doctors.

We have had this discussion at work many times over the years.

I had an elderly relative get drained dry by one, so I am in the "fuck chiropractic" camp. Still, I'm not going to say what I am really thinking about it to my co-workers who think that they benefit from it. If they think they do, then more power to 'em.

My wife had issues with back muscle spasms a few years ago and a chiropractor helped her out quite a bit. I've had a herniated disk for about 10 years that flares up every few years or so. During my last flare up 3 years ago, I tried out the same chiropractor and it did very little for me. Rest and a little amateur physical therapy on my part made it settle down after a few months, but I couldn't justify spending a hundred bucks a week in copays at the chiropractor.

I can take or leave candles but there is a small little shop in Bishop Arts called Society and bitches seem to love those candles. I get lots of compliments when I give them as gifts. http://shopatsociety.com/

I remember a guy here who used to love to put penis shaped candles into cans of bean dip.

Mobil 1 lube places are now Take 5 oil change. You don't even get out of your car. That's pretty nice. They tried to talk me into a new air filter, but I declined. They did not show me the dipstick.

They also gave me a complimentary air freshener that attaches to the vent. It says Refresh on it. I don't care for the scent. I think I'll throw it away. Some car air fresheners hang from the rear view mirror. I had one once that was shaped like a tree. I didn't care for it either. Do you say E- ther or I-ther?

I think hanging things from your mirror is probable cause for a traffic stop so take care not to be smuggling bales of weed if you do hang that pine tree thingy

I once had a Kwik Car mechanic have me go down in the oil change pit to show me some seal that was supposedly leaking oil on my car. He said he could fix it for around $400. I passed and said thanks. My car had just turned over 100k miles and I drove it all the way to 247k before I traded it in. I never fixed the leaky seal.

bet that dude banged tons of chicks in that pit. guaranteed.

Probably wiped boogers on air filters too.

Not sure I need an oil change where you don't need to get out of the car. But then I don't need oil changes.

i always feel like they really take it personally when i decline added services. getting out of there with only a booger in the filter might be a blessing when i run through all the scenarios.