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 Post subject: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:13 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:52 pm 
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God is great. This proves God exists.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:58 pm 
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Mallard X wrote:
Congratulations to you and your wife!

I knew you had it in you.

Yes. And then I put it in her.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:35 pm 
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Location: these things are good....
Pictures of the outside of vaginas are pretty cool too sometimes.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:47 pm 
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Congrats, D! You gonna name him Kal-El?


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:33 am 
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Maybe I misunderstand the process, but I don't think that beautiful gift from God is in your wife's vagina yet.

Congrats though.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:22 am 
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Congrats, D!

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:21 pm 
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Had the ultra-sound done today and found out we're having a girl. The ultra-sound lady pointed to the picture and said "you can see the labia right there." So I punched that cunt in her twat for talking about my little girl's private parts.

So girls names. Go.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:29 pm 
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I've always been partial to "Gammita".

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:45 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 3:09 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 12:42 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:20 pm 
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So we've started the registry ordeal. What as dads have you found invaluable or completely useless?

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 8:27 am 
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I wish we had one of those bottle warmers when my kids were born.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:08 am 
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We had a great bottle warmer. It was called a "microwave" and we've had it for about 15 years now. Just test the stuff out before you give it to the kid. Yeah, they tell you not to do that, but it never killed her.

The biggest sham out there is the diaper genie. It's supposed to be an odor free way to dispose of diapers inside the house, but it's a massive lie. If you put an especially foul diaper in there, the room will smell like it and pretty soon the whole house. I found that closing up the bad ones in a plastic grocery sack and throwing them away in the garage was much better.

Register for a few entertainment things for the kid: one of those floor gyms, a swing, a bouncy seat. This is gonna sound especially cheap, but register for some of the expendable items that you run through fast and don't want to run to get at the store much in the first month: diapers, wipes, liquid baby soap, shampoo. Hell, my kid was 3 before we ever had to buy a bottle of shampoo or liquid baby soap.

If you don't already have one, get a Costco membership. Their generic label formula, wipes, and diapers are high quality and a much better deal than you'll find elsewhere.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 7:54 pm 
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:babyarm:

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:12 pm 
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Diello wrote:
So we've started the registry ordeal. What as dads have you found invaluable or completely useless?

I found mothers completely useless, but that's probably anecdotal evidence on my part.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:54 pm 
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Microwaves are great for warming up bottles. Make sure you shake it first (the bottle, NOT the baby) before you test the temp.

Use dog poop bags for the especially foul diapers. They work better than the grocery bags and it's easy enough to keep a roll in the diaper bag, extra in a glove box, purse, etc.

You will eventually need more than one diaper bag.

Get one of those pull down shades for the car window next to the baby.

You will not have enough blankets, socks, hats, etc to make it through the winter. Get more.

Don't skimp on the stroller. Make sure it has an infinite amount of pockets and preferably a cup holder.

Sunscreen.

Butt paste.

Teething toys.

The baby swing will become your best friend. Get one that uses batteries. Get rechargeable batteries.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:08 pm 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
Microwaves are great for warming up bottles. Make sure you shake it first (the bottle, NOT the baby) before you test the temp.

Use dog poop bags for the especially foul diapers. They work better than the grocery bags and it's easy enough to keep a roll in the diaper bag, extra in a glove box, purse, etc.

You will eventually need more than one diaper bag.

Get one of those pull down shades for the car window next to the baby.

You will not have enough blankets, socks, hats, etc to make it through the winter. Get more.

Don't skimp on the stroller. Make sure it has an infinite amount of pockets and preferably a cup holder.

Sunscreen.

Butt paste.

Teething toys.

The baby swing will become your best friend. Get one that uses batteries. Get rechargeable batteries.

a wife to do all the shit listed above.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:14 pm 
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cap wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
Microwaves are great for warming up bottles. Make sure you shake it first (the bottle, NOT the baby) before you test the temp.

Use dog poop bags for the especially foul diapers. They work better than the grocery bags and it's easy enough to keep a roll in the diaper bag, extra in a glove box, purse, etc.

You will eventually need more than one diaper bag.

Get one of those pull down shades for the car window next to the baby.

You will not have enough blankets, socks, hats, etc to make it through the winter. Get more.

Don't skimp on the stroller. Make sure it has an infinite amount of pockets and preferably a cup holder.

Sunscreen.

Butt paste.

Teething toys.

The baby swing will become your best friend. Get one that uses batteries. Get rechargeable batteries.

a wife to do all the shit listed above.


But trust him on the sunscreen.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:50 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
cap wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
Microwaves are great for warming up bottles. Make sure you shake it first (the bottle, NOT the baby) before you test the temp.

Use dog poop bags for the especially foul diapers. They work better than the grocery bags and it's easy enough to keep a roll in the diaper bag, extra in a glove box, purse, etc.

You will eventually need more than one diaper bag.

Get one of those pull down shades for the car window next to the baby.

You will not have enough blankets, socks, hats, etc to make it through the winter. Get more.

Don't skimp on the stroller. Make sure it has an infinite amount of pockets and preferably a cup holder.

Sunscreen.

Butt paste.

Teething toys.

The baby swing will become your best friend. Get one that uses batteries. Get rechargeable batteries.

a wife to do all the shit listed above.


But trust him on the sunscreen.

:D


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:51 pm 
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The baby shower was yesterday. I stayed the damn hell away from that place and went to Top Golf.

I have come to a universal conclusion: Women are the worst. What's the point of a registry when the fucking hens are just going to buy what they want? We got a shitload of stuff, but only about a third of it was from the registry. We got more "cute little newborn outfits" and bows and shit than we will possibly ever need but no teethers, no bottles, or numerous other useful things we registered for. We got a a little bather-tub but not the one we registered for. "Oh, well we put the receipts in there in case you want to return it," said every biddy in the room, but they all bought them from different places so we'll have a week's worth of running around and store credit from a dozen different places. What the fuck is so hard about clicking on "add to cart" and "checkout"? If there were such thing as a dude shower, I'd be all over that. Wait. Dammit. You know what I mean. But your bros would get you exactly what you registered for. Yeah, you might get a couple of "I heart boobs" or "no fat chicks" onesies, but I'd have a damn baby swing now.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:36 pm 
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Fuck a duck. So you got a bunch of stuff that you are stuck with.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:58 am 
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And the thing about those cute newborn outfits is the kid outgrows it after about a month. The worst are baby shoes. The kid doesn't even walk yet but these bints wanna put these cute little shoes on him. If it's cold outside, just secure some baggies to his feet with a rubberband. The kid will never know the difference.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:24 am 
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I'm not trying to be macho when I say this, but I did let my wife handle all of that. I didn't give a fuck about it. But I do remember my wife complaining about what people bought. A bunch of "cute" outfits that they'll wear for 2 hours before shitting and spitting up all over it. We always buy off the registry. My wife is very logical for a woman.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:02 pm 
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So after the doctor's appointment today, we are scheduled to be induced next Wednesday. It's still awkward to stand next to my wife while the doctor has his hand crammed up her cooch. But nevertheless, the baby will be here soon. Her name will be Lily Marie.

During the past nine months, naturally every problem (not involving the baby) that could occur has occurred. Both of our cars required expensive maintenance. My last grandmother passed away (she was 94, so no surprise) requiring a quick trip to Florida. Our 4 year old refrigerator has crapped out twice, and numerous other little things here and there.

On top of that, as some of you know, I went back to school a few years back and am in my final semester. So when we found out the due date, of course it would fall in the middle of finals week. So as of now, next Wednesday we are having a baby then I am taking four finals (Foundations of Geometry, Probability II, Abstract Algebra, and Advanced Multivariable Calculus) and graduating. That shouldn't be a stressful week at all. It is funny that I will be able to say that I had a kid while I was in college. I just won't mention that I was 41 when it happened.

I have been in solidarity with my wife and have not had any alcohol since we got pregnant. But as soon as that last test is over on the 11th, I'm getting hammered.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:09 pm 
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:dad:

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:41 pm 
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That made me laugh audibly.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:13 pm 
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So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:39 pm 
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Diello wrote:
So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

C-section. Minimizes pain and keeps the walls tight.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:14 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Diello wrote:
So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

C-section. Minimizes pain and keeps the walls tight.

:babyarm: boy howdy

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:26 am 
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cap wrote:
Tit Whistle wrote:
Diello wrote:
So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

C-section. Minimizes pain and keeps the walls tight.

:babyarm: boy howdy

Did you fuck my wife? :mad:


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:24 pm 
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Where da baby at

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:06 pm 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
cap wrote:
Tit Whistle wrote:
Diello wrote:
So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

C-section. Minimizes pain and keeps the walls tight.

:babyarm: boy howdy

Did you fuck my wife? :mad:

no, but my second kid has a big head like his dad. and you know which one i'm talking about.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:30 pm 
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cap wrote:
Tit Whistle wrote:
cap wrote:
Tit Whistle wrote:
Diello wrote:
So any last minute tips for dealing with the wife during labor?

C-section. Minimizes pain and keeps the walls tight.

:babyarm: boy howdy

Did you fuck my wife? :mad:

no, but my second kid has a big head like his dad. and you know which one i'm talking about.

Wait, Walt is his daddy? :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Lily Marie.


Attachments:
image.jpg
image.jpg [ 140.76 KiB | Viewed 9167 times ]

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:06 pm 
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

:babyarm: :grin: :babyarm2:

:fist2:

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:14 pm 
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Congrats buddy.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:19 pm 
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:babyarm: She's a cutie, D.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:33 pm 
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Thanks. She has her Mother's looks. Thank Christ.

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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 5:03 pm 
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I miss when they don't talk back.


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 Post subject: Re: Here is a picture of the inside of my wife's vagina.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 5:10 pm 
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or somesuch wrote:
I miss when they don't talk back.


yeah, but dat poop, though. aaaaaall that poop. I don't miss that.

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