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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:25 pm 
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I don't share a fence. It was a requirement when house hunting.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:32 pm 
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Yeah Gam. Dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:05 pm 
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When this place was new, the next door neighbor and I split the cost of the adjoining fence. She was suspicious of me offering by the way, being a cute flight attendant who had probably been groped a few times. I was a really seedy 35 year old.

Ten years later, that property had changed hands three times and I didn't want the neighbors to have anything to do with fencing. To avoid the city fucking with me over not getting a building permit, I replaced a section at a time, one per day, and called it "repairs."


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:10 pm 
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I like how you also moved the fence 10" out from your property every time you made "repairs". Ten years later you have the biggest back yard on the block and the neighbors have a small landing strip and you're over there pissing off your deck with a Keystone in hand.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:40 pm 
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We got the ugly side of the fence, but we've had that all along. We got the pretty side on the other parts. She's just pissed because they don't match.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:32 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
I like how you also moved the fence 10" out from your property every time you made "repairs". Ten years later you have the biggest back yard on the block and the neighbors have a small landing strip and you're over there pissing off your deck with a Keystone in hand.


:D

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:20 am 
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Mallard X wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
I've told this story a couple of times over the years. Somewhere along the way someone told me that whoever is on the post side of a shared fence traditionally is responsible for the upkeep. I dunno.


Exactly the opposite, sweetness. The pole and supporting beams is the undesirable, ugly side. The side with the nice vertical slats without the poles and crossbeams is the one who owns most of the responsibilty. Try replacing slats from the ugly side and you'll see.

That makes sense. I'm sure whoever told me explained it correctly and I forgot. Kids, listen to Mallard.

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 12:26 pm 
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Speaking of, where is Maiden?


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:05 am 
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Trust me, I tried to work my way into that.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:35 am 
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Shower...

Specifically, what is your routine when you enter the bathroom. Since I have to get up early with the little one to gt her fed and dressed, I'm usually up well before I shower so I've already had a morning bowel movement. When it's my turn to hop in, I turn on the shower to let it get hot and then I sit on the commode (naked mind you) with one of my golf magazines flipping through the pages until I feel the shower is sufficiently warm. On occasion I may take a second dump depending on whether or not I had some coffee prior.

I shampoo first then wash (with a wash cloth might I add). Because I shampoo first, I'm constantly stopped on the streets by people saying "gee, your hair smells terrific". Gordo made a funny point the other day that we spend all our time getting clean only to step out and put various moisturizers and hair product in that makes us less oily and dirty again.

Once finished, I do the baby powder to balls. Feels neat later on when you are taking a pissing and while fumbling around with your balls, they're all nice and dry with no crotch yacht.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 11:22 am 
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Showers are ordinary for me. Get in, get clean, get out. Sometimes lately I don't wash my hair for one day. It's an ongoing experiment to see if it gives me healthier flowing locks. I like to poop before showering, but my workday routine usually doesn't allow for it since the Capt doesn't like to show up til around 9am. On weekends, like today, I will pause to evacuate before the shower. On these days, I only wipe once since I can clean my bunghole good in the shower. I use a standard bar of soap. Preferably Lever 2000. Post-shower, I towel off, apply deodorant, comb hair, and get dressed. Then I put in contacts and brush teeth. Shaving is on Sundays and in the shower.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 12:50 pm 
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As I have aged, showers have gone by more quickly for me. Unless I choose to make shower babies.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:16 am 
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Which basically means you tack on another 2 minutes or so.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:12 am 
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Do you know what really steams my mirrors? Yep, it's whenever I forget to lay out a nice terry cloth towel within arm's length for post shower drying procedures. That's why I always make it part of my routine to ensure a towel is at the ready while my shower water is heating up. Today, because it is chilly, I even had a piping hot cup of tea waiting atop my toilet tank to enjoy and keep me warm and fuzzy while I dried off. Do you like hot tea? I love hot tea. (Yes, I have a ceramic electric tea kettle as part of my kitchen appliance arsenal) I read where some of you use wash cloths to lather up. I guess a rich, luxurious lather isn't a priority for everyone like it is for me. I even have one of those mesh pom pom balls. it is red, and boy does it get soapy, prolly up to 60% soapier than a nasty wash rag. Plus you never have to wash it and mine is like two years old. It also has a rope on it and I hang it from a hook off of my Spa Creations Three Tier (that's right 3) Shower Caddy. With an attractive powdercoat matte nickel finish the caddy was a most welcomed addition to my shower, allowing me to store such items as my Coast brand bar soap and pom pom ball as well as my long handled shower brush, without comprising its status as a veritable element of décor. That's important. Do you know what really makes my b-room fan get rattled? When you drop one of those plastic long handled brushes and they shatter. Or when the head of one of those wood kinds is a slide piece that fits into the handle and comes apart when you're scrubbing your back. Boy, that's a pisser. Those brushes are great tho. I use it on my bung hole and taint. Sometimes I'll even look at it and see little balls of blue jean material or shards of underwear cotton in it or flecks of fecal matter. Too cool. Then, I scrub my back with it. It's good to be clean, I tell ya.
When the bristles are new those brushes can be painful.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:16 am 
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I love hot tea too, TG.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:07 am 
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If someone came in and flushed while you had your piping hot tea on the toilet tank, would you still drink it? I'm also picturing my own bathroom in this scenario, and the toilet tank wouldn't be a good place to set a drink in my layout. I would most likely use the sink counter directly across from the shower door. The toilet is tucked behind one of the shower walls, which offers more privacy while doing your business, but is ultimately kinda pointless since there's a fucking door to the room that provides all the privacy you would normally need. I didn't design the room, so don't give me none of your guff, and if I did design it, my plans would get tossed since the wife has her own ideas about how she wants things.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:46 am 
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After giving this some thought, the answer is no, I could not drink the tea. The bathroom I use has a straight line layout of sink, then toilet, and finally, tub/shower. Towel is usually draped over the closed lid of toilet. Atop the tank where I usually save room for the tea is also a square cubed clear glass vase that is full of long since fragrant potpourri in shades of yellows and greens. I had to individual dust some of the fake green apples and wood chips that were at the top for ultimate show readiness.

Q: what do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbian's apartment?

A: potpourri


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:10 pm 
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Dying > Selling a house

I wish you luck in your endeavor because it does indeed suck.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:04 pm 
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Am I the only one that just drapes the towel of the shower doors? The ceiling heater gets them nice and toasty. Then I stick them back up there to dry.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:49 pm 
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I do that. We have sliding double glass doors on the shower and my wife already claims the outside door handle for her towel.

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:52 pm 
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We have sliding triple glass doors on our shower. Triple.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:59 pm 
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I lay mine on the tub beside the shower. My kittycat lays on it and keeps it warm.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:01 pm 
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I drip dry.

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:01 pm 
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Just kidding. I don't shower.

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:19 pm 
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Diello wrote:
I drip dry.


The visual I just had of you is.... nothing, I didn't have anything about anything. :codsdash:

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 10:49 am 
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shower talk, a continuation:

Do you wanna know what really clogs my drains? The drainage in the master bath shower. It is one of the quirks I hate about the new house. It looks really cool tho. it has two shower heads. the tiles are tasteful and artfully arranged. the water is forceful and temp regulated with a tankless water heater. those really kick ass, btw. However, after every shower you have to get on your hands and knees and squeegee water in the drain because the drain is the high point instead of the low point. it is very annoying. I've done it totally nude and wet before. that was degrading and an unbecoming feeling as my penis would flop around and my bunghole was opened. sometimes you can force a fart that way, but it isn't the same. Lately I dry off and towel wrap first, but it still irks me. Home inspectors never catch shit like this.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 11:05 am 
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Our shower drains properly, but sometimes I get in there and there's a large clump of hair in one corner. Apparently, the wife also gets down into that position--which isn't as sexy as it sounds--and pulls all that hair out of the drain. Dunno why she doesn't throw it away. She says it's all mine, and since it's always dark hair and she's blonde, she may have a point. Still, it sits there all gross and stuff for about a month til I grab a tissue and pick it up and put it in the trash. I sometimes wonder how much of it is butt hair since I tend to wash myself pretty thoroughly back there.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 1:58 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
shower talk, a continuation:

Do you wanna know what really clogs my drains? The drainage in the master bath shower. It is one of the quirks I hate about the new house. It looks really cool tho. it has two shower heads. the tiles are tasteful and artfully arranged. the water is forceful and temp regulated with a tankless water heater. those really kick ass, btw. However, after every shower you have to get on your hands and knees and squeegee water in the drain because the drain is the high point instead of the low point. it is very annoying. I've done it totally nude and wet before. that was degrading and an unbecoming feeling as my penis would flop around and my bunghole was opened. sometimes you can force a fart that way, but it isn't the same. Lately I dry off and towel wrap first, but it still irks me. Home inspectors never catch shit like this.


Was it a customer built shower? The pan I installed had a natural slope towards the drain. Sounds like a job for Property Brothers. We could start our own show and call it Forum Brothers.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 2:12 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Trained Goucho wrote:
shower talk, a continuation:

Do you wanna know what really clogs my drains? The drainage in the master bath shower. It is one of the quirks I hate about the new house. It looks really cool tho. it has two shower heads. the tiles are tasteful and artfully arranged. the water is forceful and temp regulated with a tankless water heater. those really kick ass, btw. However, after every shower you have to get on your hands and knees and squeegee water in the drain because the drain is the high point instead of the low point. it is very annoying. I've done it totally nude and wet before. that was degrading and an unbecoming feeling as my penis would flop around and my bunghole was opened. sometimes you can force a fart that way, but it isn't the same. Lately I dry off and towel wrap first, but it still irks me. Home inspectors never catch shit like this.


Was it a customer built shower? The pan I installed had a natural slope towards the drain. Sounds like a job for Property Brothers. We could start our own show and call it Forum Brothers.
well, it's a newly remodeled housed so you'd think it would be done correctly but all around the drain the surface is wavy and water pools up. The old house in FW was a new contstruction and had the same issue. I never used that one tho. It would get pink slimed pretty quick too if you didn't stay on top of it


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 2:13 pm 
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Those house bros are kinda dreamy btw, in a pretty gay boy way


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 3:22 pm 
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The realtor one is the hottest.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 10:41 am 
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.........position your hands when driving? Sometimes when I drive I find myself mashing the tips of my fingers into the top of the steering wheel. The pressure feels good under my fingernails, but I cut them too short yesterday and it wasn't the same. Other times I rest both of my hands on either side of my horn with my thumbs up. I was in the National Guard a long time ago and there was a dude who had a wreck when his hands were in that position. Fucked his thumbs all up and they were kind of contorted and it was weird shaking his hand. I can't remember his first name, everybody called each other by their last names. His last name was Cockerham. We called him dick pig.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 11:42 am 
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Left hand at 9:00. Thumb on steering wheel (not pressed) pointing down, index finger inside steering wheel wrapped around, other three fingers on outside of steering wheel just hanging there. I guess I drive with one finger. The right hand is free.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:29 am 
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Right hand is free to help bob their head up and down.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:29 am 
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I alternate. Sometimes left resting on window ledge and holding the wheel at 9 or 10 o'clock. Other times right holding the wheel at 6 o'clock.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:48 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Right hand is free to help bob their head up and down.


Show work...

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:27 pm 
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Cledus wrote:
TerdFerguson wrote:
Right hand is free to help bob their head up and down.


Show work...

Work-> :babyarm2:

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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:19 am 
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It's a right-handed baby arm. It's not used often but it checks out.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you....
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:45 pm 
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:babyarm:

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