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 Post subject: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:14 pm 
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Today's dumbass is anyone who attended a vigil for dead Michael Jackson. Do you think you helped him out somehow? No, dumbass. He's dead. He has no idea that you cried fake dumbass tears when he died. And all of you who left a teddy bear or other item at his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Your ass is lucky that Sgt. Hoob was off duty, or you would have been ticketed for littering. Dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:04 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Today's dumbass is anyone who attended a vigil for dead Michael Jackson. Do you think you helped him out somehow? No, dumbass. He's dead. He has no idea that you cried fake dumbass tears when he died. And all of you who left a teddy bear or other item at his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Your ass is lucky that Sgt. Hoob was off duty, or you would have been ticketed for littering. Dumbass.

:D The star everyone left their crap at wasn't Micheal's. It was a different Michael Jackson, a DJ or something. MJs star was covered in a big ass red carpet for some event.

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:29 pm 
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Today I observed a type of dumbassery that makes me want to empty a clip on someone if I caught them in the act.

I'm talking about dumbasses that dump large amounts of trash out by the lake. There is a spot near the road where people park and walk down to the water to fish. Unfortunately, a lot of stuff is left by the road and unfortunately, by the water. By stuff I mean there are entire boxes that formerly contained a case of Keystone or Natural Light, bags of discarded food containers that were used to feed 12 (or 4 fatasses), and trash bags of household trash.

Way to ruin a nice lake. Dumbasses.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:28 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
want to empty a clip on someone


SO hot. :soppy:

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:07 pm 
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It's a magazine unless you plan on shooting the dude with a M1 Garand.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 6:35 pm 
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:p Good one Fruit. Image

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 6:51 pm 
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The guy that went all over north Dallas running from that constable. When he skidding off of the ramp and said out loud, "come on, hit a tree!" So disappointing.

He stayed on all four wheels and keep on going to his ultimate t-boning.

Dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:25 pm 
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Went to Whataburger this morning to get a taquito from my favorite lesbian, and across the road is one of those clothing drop boxes that some charity has set up for people to drop off CLOTHING. To the non-dumbass this means that things that people wear should be put inside this receptacle.

However, surrounding this box was two or three pieces of dumbass furniture, a television, and a couple of cardboard boxes of junk. The tv was face down on the pavement.

I realize that it costs money to dump this stuff at the city landfill, but dang, is it really necessary to be such a dumbass? I guess it is.

Dumbass.

P.S. I saw a recliner dumped in the ditch just north of town that wasn't there yesterday. I'm going to open me a furniture store.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:40 pm 
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People dump entire living room sets in the dumpster at my complex. It's always strange to see a couch sticking 4 feet out of a dumpster.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:43 pm 
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do mexicans live there.

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:57 pm 
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I guess what made this odd is that this was at a strip center on the main drag in town.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:05 pm 
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At my old apt's the maintenance guys would throw washers/Dryers away in the dumpsters.
2, 3, 4 at a time.

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:48 pm 
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fruitdog wrote:
People dump entire living room sets in the dumpster at my complex. It's always strange to see a couch sticking 4 feet out of a dumpster.

The dumpster outside my apt looks exactly like that right now.

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:26 am 
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I can't believe there are people who still want to be the first to post "First!" in the comments section of a story or whatever.

This was stupid 5 years ago. And yet it still happens a lot.

Dumbasses.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:52 am 
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cap wrote:
do mexicans live there.

it's not in little elm so no


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:27 pm 
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PaPOW!

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:15 pm 
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Today's winner is Arland Bruce.

Mister Bruce (Isaac's cousin) is a wide receiver for the Toronto Argonauts. He's the guy who took off his helmet and shoulder pads after scoring a TD and laid down in the end zone as if dead. It was a tribute to Michael Jackson.

Dumbass.

You want to do a tribute, dumbass? Do a tribute to the lucky people who have good bowel movements every day. After scoring a TD, squat down and act like you are pooping a football. Now THAT'S a tribute that Hoob can get behind. For added effect, if you score in someone else's stadium you can do the poop dance on the other team's emblem in the end zone. Just keep an eye out for George Teague. Dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:59 pm 
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If a man is shot in the head twice and he dies, how in the world can people expect his visitation to be open casket? I guess if you are a dumbass, you might expect the casket to be open.

And so goes a story in the Indianapolis Star in which several dumbasses were disappointed that Steve McNair's visitation was closed casket. Really? You expected them to have him lying there with two bullet slugs in his head for you to gawk at? What a colossal dumbass these people are.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:12 pm 
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Still funny.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:15 pm 
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Get in the car at about 1:00 and Sturm was going on about how Scott Feldman doesn't look like he has a future as a major league pitcher. His logic included the fact that Feldman rarely strikes batters out. Not even Greggo would say something that stupid.

He throws 94 mph with ball movement. He has a low opponents' batting average as Bob the dumbass pointed out. Every start is a quality start. We have a chance to win every single time he starts. Dumbass.

Or maybe I'm the dumbass for breaking one of the rules I have for Bad radio. I have a rule that if those dumbasses are talking about the Rangers, I punch out immediately. I didn't follow my rule and that's what I get.

This has been the Dumbass of the Day Report.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 6:06 am 
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That Greg Maddux sure knew how to strike people out. Oh wait.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:01 pm 
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or somesuch wrote:
That Greg Maddux sure knew how to strike people out. Oh wait.

:babyarm:


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:38 pm 
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got anymore dumbasses, Hoob?


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:06 pm 
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Today's dumbass: me.

As I was getting my handgun out of the saddle bag to put in my holster, I noticed that it was not in the "safety" position and there was a round chambered. Woah, dumbass.

It's not very likely at all that hitting a bump on my bike could cause it to fire, but why take the chance.

Dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:15 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Today's dumbass: me.

As I was getting my handgun out of the saddle bag to put in my holster, I noticed that it was not in the "safety" position and there was a round chambered. Woah, dumbass.

It's not very likely at all that hitting a bump on my bike could cause it to fire, but why take the chance.

Dumbass.


So, um, doesn't Jeff need to fine you $75,000 for that infraction?


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:52 am 
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My God.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:24 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
My God.

:D

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:53 pm 
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A support email we just received here at work:
"Can you get me out of the screen I’m in?"


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:58 pm 
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Well, can you?


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:45 pm 
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NO GODDAMMIT!


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:11 pm 
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rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
A support email we just received here at work:
"Can you get me out of the screen I’m in?"


That is awesome.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:20 pm 
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I am realllly sick of the moon landing conspiracy theorists, also known as dumbasses. On any message board where space travel is discussed, this dumbass crap takes over the conversation.

They say we didn't land on the moon and then trot out dumbass "evidence" to prove their point. The ultimate dumbass point has to be that the Apollo 1 fire that killed 3 astronauts occurred because one of the three, Gus Grissom was about to sing like a bird about the moon launch hoax. In other words, they claim that NASA killed its own astronauts to keep their little plot quiet.

Dumbass indeed.

Hoob.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:27 pm 
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musically related dumbass:

Years ago, while still in Waco, working the midnight shift, a dude who hung out at the store I worked in had the theory that the Queen song, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", was really written by Elvis, and therefore proved that he didn't actually die.
He was also convinced that the line in "Hotel California" mentioning 'steely knives' proved that they were Satanists (and not giving a head nod to their buddies in Steely Dan)


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:03 pm 
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Rock and roll has brought out a lot of dumbasses. The Elvis theory was a good one. I think I'm going to try that one out on my friends Saturday. They are dumb enough to believe that Elvis wrote that song.

Hoob.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 4:38 am 
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I met a woman in the late eighties that also thought Elvis was still alive. Scary bitch.

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:03 am 
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Have you ever been to Wrigley?

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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:02 pm 
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If you are a radio host and can't properly use the word "literally" in a discussion, you are a dumbass. I'll give a pass to someone like Nate Newton or Mushmouth Irvin. They are jocks. The others, not so much. It's a double dumbass on someone with a degree. I'm looking at you, Interlochen Corby the Dumbass. He does it nearly every show.

Today I was listening to Sporting News Radio and a guy said that Tom Watson literally choked on a 6-foot putt. Really? He was coughing? Gagging? Something wrong with his throat? No, he didn't literally choke. Dumbass. If a hick like me can figure this out, they should be able to, too.

All of this has happened because of dumbasses who copy what other dumbasses say. The term is an old term, but it has become more fashionable to use it in recent years. Dumbasses picked up on this and started misusing the term. The same thing happened with dumbasses who changed the definition of the word "tweak," but I'll save that one for another day.

Dumbasses.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:13 pm 
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next up, Hoob goes off on people who overuse 'basically'.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:27 pm 
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Peopleat Whataburger are looking at the old man laughing at his phone, Walt.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:40 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Peopleat Whataburger are looking at the old man laughing at his phone, Walt.

:soppy:


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:15 pm 
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Today is July 20 and it's the 40th anniversary of the moon landing and moon walk by Armstrong and Aldrin.

With the Internet and message boards, we are treated to all sorts of anecdotes of people describing where they were when this event occurred. However, many of these stories are from dumbasses who didn't quite get their facts straight:

1. I've seen more than one dumbass say that they paused school to watch the moon walk and their school was somewhere in the states. Really? July 20, 1969 was on a Sunday. And where was school being held in July in the United States, anyway, dumbass?

2. More than one dumbass from either middle America or the east coast said that their parents made them come in from playing outside to see the moon walk because it was history. Really? It started at about 10:00 at night central time. I begged my mom to let me stay up late and watch it.

Dumbasses.


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 Post subject: Re: Dumbass of the Day
PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:41 pm 
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history channel is replaying the cbs broadcast tonight. good shit.

i was much too young to watch the first one, but I remember seeing one of the later ones. in 71 or 72 I guess. I remember my mother telling me it was really important to watch, but being only 3 or 4 at the time I just wanted to go outside and eat some dirt.

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