My local Whataburger has a few parallel parking spots painted near the building.

If you pull up behind one of these parked, unattended cars next to the building thinking you are in line for the drive-thru, you are a dumbass. I saw this happen today. It was a woman of color, on the phone.

And if you pull up behind her thinking that this is the line for the drive-thru, what level of dumbass are you? I saw that happen, too.

I pointed it out to a clerk, and she went out and told her to move her dumb ass.

Here's a story about a guy who played the lottery with his co-workers for a long time.

At some point he develops a back injury and misses three months of work and stops playing the lottery.

His friends win. He sues for his share. This is in Ohio. This is a dumbass.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/09/04/oh ... latestnews

Today's dumbass: David Buehler.

When talking about the 49ers Ted Ginn he had this to say: "As long as you hit him in the mouth earlier, I think he might give up."

I'm sure he will, dumbass.

Here's a story of two dumbasses who were managers of a Domino's Pizza joint in Florida. That's two red flags right there. Domino's and Florida.

To increase their business, they burned down a rival Papa John's. They are dumbasses.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/29/fl ... latestnews

It appears that this guy's desire for underage nookie brought him down.

http://gma.yahoo.com/california-student ... ories.html

Pedofiles usually get anally raped in prison. Hopefully Hooker is treated like one

Ozzie Guillen's Castro-loving mouth has irritated some of the Cubans in Miami.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=A ... ro-apology

says Oops.

Lamar Odom

That kid in Tyler that sideswiped me and apologized profusely for hitting me sang a different tune to the Hartford. They sent me a claim rejection letter. Got it Saturday.



<---------4/7/12 winner.

That happened to me 6 years ago. We got separated after he hit me (I went through the light, he went left). I thought he was fleeing the scene, but the fucker called the cops to tell them he hit someone. When I called them, they told me where to meet him. We reconvened with a police man and the insurance company still rejected the claim because they said I left the scene. I'm getting pissed again just thinking about it.

Was that when you missed the Jacksox game? We would've won that night if you were there.

No, different time. That one was worse than a sideswipe. That one totalled my car. If it was just a sideswipe, I would have made the game and we still would have lost big.

Note to self: Don't ride anywhere with somey.

It still pisses me off that you missed the game

You know what? If you thought that Mike Wallace of the Steelers died this week and Tweeted about it, you are a dumbass. A knuckle-dragging, hairy palmed, mouth-breathing dumbass.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutd ... WHW7E5nYcB

You went 186 on a crotch rocket and somehow filmed it and posted it? Cool dude. You are a dumbass.

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/07/ ... to-police/

You agreed for $50 services from a hooker, then didn't pay her, then left her in your room alone while you went to a banquet? Don't be surprised that the bitch doesn't steal anything that isn't tied down while you are gone, dumbass.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sports/colleg ... rglary.ece

Oh, and double dumbass on whomever called the cops.

I'm surprised there's any hookers left at SMU after the Craig James reign of terror.

you should tweet this.

That's pretty outstanding, though not in the intended way.

"It's a stunt perhaps made most famous by Kobe Bryant. Millions of people have now watched him jump over a moving Aston Martin on YouTube and plenty of other people have attempted similar jumps."

Or, miss dumbass reporter, it was done back in 1980 on "That's Incredible!". But how could you know that when the world is obviously only as old as you are.

With over 80 stitches in his leg and broken bones, that kid won't be out standing anywhere soon.

Oh, my. That stunt wasn't all it was cracked up to me.

He suffered stomach pains and died? That's it? No further explanation? You don't just immediately die because you ate eggs.

The doctors are scrambling for answers too, I bet.

that's an eggcellent yoke.

Sounds like the deviled made them do it.

Y'all take it over easy

Apparently, all those yokes left him just a shell of a man!

It appears that some dumbass posed as Adam Lanza's uncle and went to Newtown to get in on the scene.

Reading the article, I see that this guy is a prolific lawsuit dumbass and actually has duped TMZ and Radar Online into believing his hoaxes.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/ ... ted-687543

I hate attention whores like this. I also hate dumbasses.

My least favorite show on TV these days is the Coupon Nut show. My mom watches that damned thing non-stop and I can just feel myself getting stupider while sitting there. Which brings me to my dumbass of the day:

If you go to a Dollar General to use a million coupons on cat food and toilet paper during lunch time, you are a dumbass.

I ended up leaving my purchase because the only clerk there was overwhelmed by it.

Fuck people and their stupid coupons.

From the comments, and I swear it wasn't me that said it:

Probably would've been fatal if not for that cushion she had on her chest.

Update: she's dead now

Orange jumpsuit? 4:45 in the morning?

How about Ryan Leaf for Dumbass of the Day?

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/88540 ... ter-prison

Go to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200, you stupid motherfucker.