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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2013 11:31 pm 
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Did the mom visit today, so I also went to Bonham State Park to ride their trail. First time to actually ride this thing since July of last year.

Went one lap, had to quit because I had the visit looming. Was successful. Although I still have weakness due to inactivity, I am still better than I was three or four years ago.

The weather was absolutely perfect. It kinda made me want to camp out here again. I have an off day on May 10. Hmmmm.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:38 am 
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Do you use anything for chafing? I went on an easy 10 miler yesterday and now my crotch feels raw.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:22 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:26 am 
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I was wondering if there was a salve that you rub on that takes away the friction. I was thinking like aloe or something. Maybe I should just double up on the powder.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:33 am 
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I have never used anything for chafing. I just build up a tolerance to it by starting off with a lower distance.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:20 pm 
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The thought of taint callouses is making me cringe.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 9:14 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:33 pm 
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Wow, Cap. That poor guy in the gif is fucked.

Rode the Isle du Bois trail after work today. Thank goodness for Daylight Savings Time. Went through the entire 11 mile mofo even though I wasn't in the mood at the beginning. Glad I went.

No wrecks, wasn't able to attempt the boulder section, but I am getting close. I'm 0 for 2 on it, and both times I ended up on my back, on top of a motherfucking boulder.

While loading my bike up, I noticed that I had cut a section out of my front tire, exposing the cords. How did I not have a blowout? I'll have to buy a new tire before I ride again. Damned sharp-ass rocks.

I really had fun today. A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 9:26 am 
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Rode Isle du Bois after work yesterday. Decided to do loops A-D and skip E, which would cut about 3 miles off of the end. The goal was to finish my ride at 7:00, but I ended up finishing at 6:30. Might as well have done E.

Near the end of my ride and on a particularly strenuous hill, I encountered a college-age girl running toward me. She was red-headed, cute, and had a big smile. I thought I was hallucinating. I dismounted (that's the rule when meeting hikers) and we chatted briefly.

Showered at the park, forgot to bring underwear, so I had to go commando the rest of the evening.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 11:27 am 
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I have a meeting with Sherman ISD today at 3:00. Maybe I'll see you riding around town.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 9:43 pm 
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Did Isle du Bois after work again today, but only rode loops A, B, and C, which is about 5 miles and can be done in 45 minutes. Was kinda hungry when I rode it, ate half a sandwich before heading out.

Saw a couple of deer and an armadillo, the latter of which scared the crap out of me. No wrecks.

Hoob ISD is out on Friday, so maybe I can go again.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:10 pm 
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Lifted yesterday, but it was a light pissant workout. I am so weak. And old.

Rode Johnson Branch this morning, had a blast. The oddest thing happened, though. On the first climb on the red trail, a large rock tore my shoe off. Before I could get stopped, I kicked another rock. My foot was numb for about five minutes and it hurt for the remaining 7 miles.

No other odd incidents occurred. Am getting in a little better shape now and really enjoyed this. A clerk at the QT asked if I had been riding.

Got home and took my shoe off, noticed that I had knocked the skin off of my big toe and my sock was bloody. Showering hurt. Used clippers to trim away the loose skin. I'm hoping for a sympathy bj tonight.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 9:20 am 
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Instead of a blow job, ask for a tow job.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 12:48 pm 
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For the first time since like 1995, I weigh under 200 lbs. :cool: 196 to be exact. Whats up my Ninjas?

If you wanna get down on these hairy balls... Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here! Why don't you suck on this big john?

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 12:55 pm 
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That's awesome, cle. How did you do it? Eating less and exercising or just meth?


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 12:58 pm 
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Cledus wrote:
196 to be exact.


Meh

jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk. Good job, buddy.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 1:09 pm 
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Cledus wrote:
For the first time since like 1995, I weigh under 200 lbs. :cool: 196 to be exact. Whats up my Ninjas?

If you wanna get down on these hairy balls... Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here! Why don't you suck on this big john?

rots of rice!~

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 1:10 pm 
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Cledus wrote:
For the first time since like 1995, I weigh under 200 lbs. :cool: 196 to be exact. Whats up my Ninjas?

If you wanna get down on these hairy balls... Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here! Why don't you suck on this big john?


You are the songbird of your generation.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 1:50 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 3:29 pm 
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Thanks Lovers.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2013 9:41 pm 
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Took the bike and my riding clothes to work in hopes I could get a ride in this afternoon.

However, because of needy stupid fucktards, also known as teachers, I had to stay late for the stupidest of reasons and was unable to ride. In disgust, I kicked my Camelback across my classroom and yelled fuuuuuuuck! really loud. It's amazing how easy it is to get a teacher's certificate. Am I the only one who actually prepares for shit at least one day before it happens? Stupid fuckers at my last school were the exact same motherfucking way.

I can't go tomorrow and it might rain anyway.

A kickass time was not had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 10:54 pm 
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Went to the Greenbelt today, rode the 21.5 mile mofo. Haven't ridden at all since May 11, haven't ridden this bastard since last year. This is way different than riding a death trail and really, it is more difficult on the legs and the hineyass.

Experienced soreness early on, but got my second wind and toughed it out.

After I dismounted, I realized I was nearly paralyzed in the legs and ass. I could not bend over to change out of my shoes. Some stoner noticed this, and he drove by and rolled down the window and said, "Hey man, you're getting too old for that shit!"

I laughed my ass off. I love when strangers do funny stuff like that.

After I got home, I felt a little better. To prove a point to no one, I jacked off in the shower while thinking about Jean Stapleton.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 11:11 pm 
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Rode the Isle du Bois death trail this evening, only took loops A, B, and C because of time constraints. This is considered to be the intermediate part of the trail, but I sweated my ass off. Did really well on climbs, as well as I have done in a long time. Why do we have days like this where we are really strong and can really kick ass? It is mind-boggling.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:05 pm 
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Took my bicycle to the Greenbelt trail this afternoon. This trail is basically a rock road through the woods. Encountered a huge water hole right off the bat, figured that since I was already wet I'd continue. What a dumbass mistake that was. At the end of the 21st mile, I was totally covered with mud from head to toe. Got mud in my eyes a couple of times, had to wipe my eye with a muddy shirt.

Encountered a couple of hots on bikes, but they were with males. Encountered one female approximately my age but wasn't that interested.

At home, I put the bike out back and hosed it off to knock the mud off. This is the most mud I have ever gotten on the poor thing. Threw all of my clothes, including my shoes, in the washer as I walked into the house and then walked in nekkid. What a great ride that was.

A kickass time was had, but my ass is kinda sore right now.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:12 am 
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21 miles? I get worn out walking 18 holes. My doc said I have low T but I blew him off. Now I'm starting to wondering if my absolute tiredness is a result of it. I know I'm getting old but still. Might be time to get some testosterone injections.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:11 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
21 miles? I get worn out walking 18 holes. My doc said I have low T but I blew him off. Now I'm starting to wondering if my absolute tiredness is a result of it. I know I'm getting old but still. Might be time to get some testosterone injections.


You're on the right forum for testosterone injections


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:24 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:33 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
21 miles? I get worn out walking 18 holes. My doc said I have low T but I blew him off. Now I'm starting to wondering if my absolute tiredness is a result of it. I know I'm getting old but still. Might be time to get some testosterone injections.


The list of side effects for that is 10 miles long. I'll take cry like a bitch for an extra 10 years of life, Alex.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:55 am 
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Testosterone is bad? If our body makes it and and it's production has prematurely slowed down, why wouldn't T therapy be good? Women take stuff to regulate their hormones and what not. Honestly, I don't know. If it's bad then I'll stay away.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:08 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Testosterone is bad? If our body makes it and and it's production has prematurely slowed down, why wouldn't T therapy be good? Women take stuff to regulate their hormones and what not. Honestly, I don't know. If it's bad then I'll stay away.

side effects for AndroGel (the shit that's been advertised lately for 'low-t')
Stop using testosterone topical and call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

burn-like blistering of the skin where the transdermal patch is worn;
skin irritation with patch-wearing that does not get better with time;
problems with urination;
swelling of your ankles;
frequent, prolonged, or bothersome erections; or
nausea, stomach pain, low fever, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes).
Less serious side effects may include:

redness, itching, burning, or hardened skin where the skin patch is worn;
breast swelling or tenderness;
increased acne or hair growth;
headache, depressed mood; or
changes in your sex drive.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:17 am 
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Is that the one where they tell you not to let women and children touch you in areas where you applied it? Sounds kinda sexy, but kinda creepy.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:20 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Is that the one where they tell you not to let women and children touch you in areas where you applied it? Sounds kinda sexy, but kinda creepy.

yep, that's the one.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:22 pm 
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rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
TerdFerguson wrote:
Testosterone is bad? If our body makes it and and it's production has prematurely slowed down, why wouldn't T therapy be good? Women take stuff to regulate their hormones and what not. Honestly, I don't know. If it's bad then I'll stay away.

side effects for AndroGel (the shit that's been advertised lately for 'low-t')
Stop using testosterone topical and call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

burn-like blistering of the skin where the transdermal patch is worn;
skin irritation with patch-wearing that does not get better with time;
problems with urination;
swelling of your ankles;
frequent, prolonged, or bothersome erections; or
nausea, stomach pain, low fever, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes).
Less serious side effects may include:

redness, itching, burning, or hardened skin where the skin patch is worn;
breast swelling or tenderness;
increased acne or hair growth;
headache, depressed mood; or
changes in your sex drive.


Dunno if the commercial I saw was for this brand but it also said something about a swelling prostate (prolly where problems with urination come in).

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 3:04 pm 
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Well every drug out that has possible side affects. I'm not saying the ones listed are ones I wouldn't mind but if you do in fact have low testosterone then there is hormonal therapy to help bring those levels back to "normal".

Take Lipitor for instance. It helps people with high cholesterol. But the medicine has possible side affects. That doesn't mean I wouldn't take it.

I'm just saying just about everything out there has warning label and/or side affects but often times we ignore them. The possible side affects of testosterone stuff don't seem much/any worse than any other drug out there. I'm not arguing for the drug, just making a counterpoint. Just think of the erections you will get like when you were 18. You could hang clothes from it back then!


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:06 am 
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Since the Greenbelt was under water and every place was muddy, I decided to take the mountain bike to the state park and ride on the wide sidewalks. It is hilly, and one loop on the thing was 2 1/4 miles. I only went 8.5, but it was better exercise than a normal road ride. Sweated like a mofo.

Noticed that things were strangely dry all around, kinda surprising.

Before I went in to shower, I passed by the parking lot to look at the trailhead of the death trail. The sonofabitch had been open the entire time and I didn't notice it.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:29 pm 
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Went to Johnson Branch today, my favorite trail. It was 97 degrees.

Had a terrible time with climbs, not sure why. I had plenty of strength and nerve, but absolutely no skill. When I would start a climb, I'd hit a rock or something that would knock my ass into a tree or another rock, and I'd have to walk the rest of the way up.

While climbing Care Flite Hill, I hit a rock that knocked me into a large tree root, which sent my old ass down the hill, backward. I have learned to wear a Camelbak to carry water and to protect me for crap like this. I only got a booboo on my arm and a scratch on my back.

Later on, I was idly going down a hill and my sweaty hand actually slipped off of my handlebars. This sent me out of control and face first into some vines.

Then, I was climbing and hit a rock that knocked me into a pine tree. Some dumbfuck had broken a limb off and it was sticking out like a motherfucking knife. The result was, my leg got a slice about 5 inches long. It's the most I've ever bled on a ride.

And then for good measure, my pedal hit a large rock, which knocked me straight up into the air like a bucking horse. My knee was speared by the top of the fork assembly. I didn't wreck on that one, but it did gouge a hole in the side of my knee. I said "fuck" a lot today while riding.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:47 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:25 pm 
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A mom visit was due today, so I swung by Bonham State Park as the sun came up. This meant riding through a lot of spider webs. Only went one lap because of time constraints. I think I went something like 7.5 miles.

Am in a little better shape now, was able to keep it in higher gears.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:02 pm 
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My ass has been kicked nine ways to Sunday.

Got to Johnson Branch at noon, rode it at a pretty fast clip. Didn't wreck. Sweated a lot. Wasn't that successful on anything difficult, but that's ok. I had fun. Brought enough food and drink for another lap just in case, but I hatched a plan to drive over to Isle du Bois and ride that trail. I have been wanting to ride both trails in one day but something always gets in the way of it. Today was my chance.

Stopped at a little buger shack and got food there, then went to the next trail, which ismore difficult and longer.

Didn't wreck here, either, but I walked over a few obstacles. Was able to climb a few things that I usually don't make, though.

Toward the end I got pretty hot, and for the first time in my life, I stopped on the trail, took off my helmet, and squirted water on my head and down my shirt. It was about 4:30 when this happened. Drank a Gatorade when I got back to the car. Showered at the park when I finished, just stood there under the solid cold water for awhile. I usually don't shower at the park but I made an exception this time.

Went home and laid on the couch. This happens when I get hot. I'm ok now and am ready for a roll in the hay. The Hoobstress is terrified I'm not going to be able to perform now. She has a lot to learn.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:21 pm 
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hoobmeister wrote:
Showered at the park when I finished, just stood there under the solid cold water for awhile. I usually don't shower at the park but I made an exception this time.


I thought this was going to take a George Michael turn for a second. I can't not say I'm a little disappointed it didn't.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:09 am 
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jim jack wrote:
My ass has been kicked nine ways to Sunday.

Got to Johnson Branch at noon, rode it at a pretty fast clip. Didn't wreck. Sweated a lot. Wasn't that successful on anything difficult, but that's ok. I had fun. Brought enough food and drink for another lap just in case, but I hatched a plan to drive over to Isle du Bois and ride that trail. I have been wanting to ride both trails in one day but something always gets in the way of it. Today was my chance.

Stopped at a little buger shack and got food there, then went to the next trail, which ismore difficult and longer.

Didn't wreck here, either, but I walked over a few obstacles. Was able to climb a few things that I usually don't make, though.

Toward the end I got pretty hot, and for the first time in my life, I stopped on the trail, took off my helmet, and squirted water on my head and down my shirt. It was about 4:30 when this happened. Drank a Gatorade when I got back to the car. Showered at the park when I finished, just stood there under the solid cold water for awhile. I usually don't shower at the park but I made an exception this time.

Went home and laid on the couch. This happens when I get hot. I'm ok now and am ready for a roll in the hay. The Hoobstress is terrified I'm not going to be able to perform now. She has a lot to learn.

A kickass time was had.


Great job Hoob. I don't know how you do it. I rode around White Rock on Sunday and it's maybe 9 miles around. It felt like I ride all 9 into a headwind. The heat wasn't too bad and after making the loop if felt like I could do it again. I had plenty of water with me but its my taint holding me back. Not only does it get sore during the ride but sometimes it feels like my legs are going to sleep. I have to stand up for a bit to get the blood flowing and to give my nacha some rest. There was one cool part where I caught another biker at the bottom of a short but pretty steep incline. Right out of scene of a TdF leg, we both got up out of the saddle at the same time and our bikes rocked side to side in almost perfect rhythm. I could almost hear Phil Liggett in my head describing the scene as we both climbed the winding trail, resembling a discarded string on the side of a mountain. We passed a family on a hike and I pretended like they were adoring fans, running along side me cheering me on with a Texas state flag tied around their neck flowing behind them. There is a family at the top shouting words of encouragement to my worth adversary but it's not enough as my tire crosses first. As I take a drink, I look over to give a knowing nod and to say well done but I'm drowned out by the cheers of "great job Grandma!"


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:57 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:17 pm
Posts: 8919
TerdFerguson wrote:
jim jack wrote:
My ass has been kicked nine ways to Sunday.

Got to Johnson Branch at noon, rode it at a pretty fast clip. Didn't wreck. Sweated a lot. Wasn't that successful on anything difficult, but that's ok. I had fun. Brought enough food and drink for another lap just in case, but I hatched a plan to drive over to Isle du Bois and ride that trail. I have been wanting to ride both trails in one day but something always gets in the way of it. Today was my chance.

Stopped at a little buger shack and got food there, then went to the next trail, which ismore difficult and longer.

Didn't wreck here, either, but I walked over a few obstacles. Was able to climb a few things that I usually don't make, though.

Toward the end I got pretty hot, and for the first time in my life, I stopped on the trail, took off my helmet, and squirted water on my head and down my shirt. It was about 4:30 when this happened. Drank a Gatorade when I got back to the car. Showered at the park when I finished, just stood there under the solid cold water for awhile. I usually don't shower at the park but I made an exception this time.

Went home and laid on the couch. This happens when I get hot. I'm ok now and am ready for a roll in the hay. The Hoobstress is terrified I'm not going to be able to perform now. She has a lot to learn.

A kickass time was had.


Great job Hoob. I don't know how you do it. I rode around White Rock on Sunday and it's maybe 9 miles around. It felt like I ride all 9 into a headwind. The heat wasn't too bad and after making the loop if felt like I could do it again. I had plenty of water with me but its my taint holding me back. Not only does it get sore during the ride but sometimes it feels like my legs are going to sleep. I have to stand up for a bit to get the blood flowing and to give my nacha some rest. There was one cool part where I caught another biker at the bottom of a short but pretty steep incline. Right out of scene of a TdF leg, we both got up out of the saddle at the same time and our bikes rocked side to side in almost perfect rhythm. I could almost hear Phil Liggett in my head describing the scene as we both climbed the winding trail, resembling a discarded string on the side of a mountain. We passed a family on a hike and I pretended like they were adoring fans, running along side me cheering me on with a Texas state flag tied around their neck flowing behind them. There is a family at the top shouting words of encouragement to my worth adversary but it's not enough as my tire crosses first. As I take a drink, I look over to give a knowing nod and to say well done but I'm drowned out by the cheers of "great job Grandma!"


:D

I wish I could write like you.


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