Whipped up some bbq goodness for the Super Bowl:

Pulled Pork
Spare Ribs
Jalapeño Sausage
Hot Links
Chicken Legs

The "side" was deviled eggs. We made way too much food. I'll be eating this stuff all week.

Might wanna mix in a vegetable if you ever wanna shit again.

I am a big fan of Chick-fil-a's Cobb Salad. A couple of weeks ago, it occurred to me that I could make the same thing:

lettuce, tomato, cucumber, boiled egg, corn, chopped-up chicken strip, and sometimes bacon.

Add croutons and ranch dressing.

Boiling an egg is a pain in the ass, but otherwise it's easy to make. Good eatin'.

Sorry I didn't answer you, Craig. I cook the chicken strip in the air fryer. Twelve minutes.

Rustling up some catfish in the fryer right now, covered with Louisiana seasoned fry stuff. I could eat that every day forever and not get tired of it.

:babyarm: My man.

I got you fam.

First thing: Go buy a practice hunk of meat. Preferably a pork shoulder. You don't want the very first thing you smoke to be a brisket you are serving to guests.
You need to learn your equipment before you tackle one of the hardest things to smoke.

Rule of (my) thumb is 1lb meat per person before cooking. Then add more. You can always give away or freeze what you don't eat.

How are you serving? Sliced? Chopped? If sliced then you will definitely want 1lb+ per person.

Secret to a good brisket: go to Costco and buy a PRIME beef brisket. You can't fuck those up.

It takes 1-1 1/2 hours per pound to cook a full packer at 235-250. Make sure you start your 20 pound brisket a full 24 hours before you serve. It will be fully cooked when the thickest part reaches 203 degrees and is all nice and jiggly. When it's done, wrap in a couple of thick towels and put in a cooler until you're ready to serve. It will stay screaming hot for hours.

Keep the seasoning simple. Equal parts kosher salt and coarse ground black pepper. Add a little garlic powder if you want but that ain't Texas so don't.

Wrap when it stalls. By the time it gets to 160 degrees, it will have taken in all the smoke flavor it's going to get. Wrap in foil and throw it in your oven at 235-250 until it's done (did I mention it's going to take a LONG time to cook?)

In summation, do this:

1. Get a PRIME brisket from Costco.
2. Season with a Dalmatian rub. You can rub yellow mustard on it first to help the seasoning stick. Make sure you use plenty of seasoning. A packer brisket is a huge hunk of beef. Season it as such.
3. Smoke at 235-250 until internal temp hits 160-165. Then wrap in foil and put it in your oven at 250.
4. When the temp hits 203, wrap in a couple of thick towels and put in a cooler for at least 2 hours to rest. It can stay in there for 4 and still be too hot to touch though.
5. If serving sliced, make sure you slice properly. The grain on the flat runs 90 degrees to the grain on the point. Watch a couple of videos. Also, use either an electric knife or get an 18" slicer from a restaurant supply store.
6. If serving chopped, triple up on some food save latex gloves and get medieval on it. It will still be too hot to touch so e careful.
7. Get an aluminum pan to hold the meat. It will be a lot. Spend the extra $4 for something to keep it in.

If you have room, smoke a pork shoulder with the brisket. It will be done faster than the brisket but all of the rules are the same. Though instead of a Dalmatian rub you'll want to go with something sweeter. Get a bottle of Daves rub rub if you don't want to make your own.

Also also: the day of, cook up 5-10 pounds of sausage for the vegetarians. If you fuck up your brisket, at least your guest won't go hungry.

Also, you have my number. Call me if you need to!

Use pecan wood. TRUST.

Use pecan wood. TRUST.

Ok let's talk wood chips now. I got your flavors but what's the best way to prep. I'm reading soak in water for 30 minutes but how long does that last? And do I put that on a bed of burning dry chips or charcoal? Charcoal might last an hour but how many bags of wood chips will I need for a 24 hour grilling?

Also I had to post this on my phone because newer, shittier workplace has this place flagged as "Adult Material". Tone it down, fuckers.

Screw it, I'm just gonna order a bunch of pizzas.

or just put the brisket in the oven. The taste is distinguishable, but you'll be done eating after 10 minutes anyway. After that, you'll be wondering why you gave away your day. It's not worth all the trouble.

Also I had to post this on my phone because newer, shittier workplace has this place flagged as "Adult Material". Tone it down, fuckers.

IT guys are the worst

I fired up my grill to cook the rest of my meats with regular charcoal while neighbor man added more sauce and put them back in his smoker to keep them warm.