RemoveRowdy :: View topic - Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.

:babyarm: It's a good thing Mrs. Durrett's husband was a semi famous local celeb so she could get 200 Gs unlike all those other women who's husbands tragically die.

What do you talk to your father-in-law about on holidays?

My father in law has a hard time speaking english. My mother in law doesn't speak english at all. When the wifeys family comes over it sounds like I've got univision on in the background. I'm not expected to be in the conversation and that's fine with me.

Getting rid of junk at schools can be a chore. Hoob ISD uses an online auction site, Rene Bates Auctioneers to get rid of crap. I drunkenly clicked on it tonight and noticed that the county of Tarrant was selling "one horse and one goat." The horse is named Buster, and the goat is named Fred. Both have received six bids, and both are currently at $45 each. Come on, P-1s, isn't Fred worth more than $45?

.

Do you get to keep the piano?

Trained Goucho wrote:

Come back, hoob.

I never lost faith that you were still alive, Hoob. I just thought you were locked up as a gimp in some crazy-ass old piece of tail's crawl space.

When her ability to speak suddenly went away, I took the lead in our conversation and was pushy about it, asking questions about work, how her kids liked school this year, and stuff like that. I am such a stinker.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:45 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
You're my hero, hoob.

Author:	jim jack [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 11:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
A really bad work rant was cocksacked. To sum it up: let me eat a meal without doing tech support or talking about work.

Author:	jim jack [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me. Just about anything in the news these days gets old after a day or two. Ray Rice? Sure, I wanna know, but enough already. Same goes for the Ice Bucket Challenge. I hate ALS, but I'm sick of the stunts and the attention whoring. I can't believe I saw another one on Facebook today. Good grief. I can't explain why, but the Do it for Durrett thing doesn't annoy me in the least. According to Twitter, they've now raised $300,000 for his family. Good on them, and double good for the people who got this thing going. I'm no longer buying the tale of the Rangers having a loaded farm system. I want it to be true, and I have an erection every time I read a Newberg Report, but....no. Are we Loserville? This subject came up a few years ago, then the Mavericks won and the Rangers nearly did and the topic went away. What about now? The other day I was listening to a show, and the host said, "Father Time is undefeated." Immediately I said out loud, "So is pussy." Eff everybody in here.

Author:	fruitdog [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
It's a good thing Mrs. Durrett's husband was a semi famous local celeb so she could get 200 Gs unlike all those other women who's husbands tragically die.

Author:	cap [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.

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Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
fruitdog wrote: :babyarm: It's a good thing Mrs. Durrett's husband was a semi famous local celeb so she could get 200 Gs unlike all those other women who's husbands tragically die. Fuckin a. When some tranny whore finally does me in there better be a fuckin RR fund raiser to help my poor wife put the squid through college and buy the house that Ricardo the Gigolo has always wanted.

Author:	or somesuch [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
cap wrote: :shock:

Author:	jim jack [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.

Author:	jim jack [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me. Ragonk was funny for a day. It's sure as shit not funny now. Hearing it on top of "Wonderful Christmas," the worst Christmas song of all time makes me want to kick puppies. Although my school foolishly spent thousands on making our kids Mac Fags, that is going to end soon because of the enormous cost incurred. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Suck it, macqueerbaits. And my school isn't the only victim of this fucknugget company. I wish Rockme was here so I could kick him in his MacNuts. Having to resort to satellite Internet makes me miss the broadband connection I had at home. Last night I tried to watch porn and was sorely disappointed. It was like the days of dialup. She starts sucking his dick and then the dreaded buffering thing happens. I really don't understand how boogers are made. A client came by the other day to deliver a Christmas gift. She was about my age, which is just short of petrified. She was friendly, but could stand to lose some weight. Ok, a lot of weight. At some point, she unbuttoned her sweater and pulled it open like she was flashing herself. She had a shirt on under it, thank goodness. But my brain was screaming, "Woman, what the fuck are you doing?" People are getting blown by hotties, while I'm being subject to stupid shit like this. And I didn't even get blown. But I did get a bunch of ginger snaps.

Author:	Trained Goucho [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
With the local foruming scene becoming so slow I've been spending time on tigerdroppings lately even though it's a beating. Anywho, I saw a ragonk exchange on there yesterday. It's out of control. I liked Rockme. My understanding of how boogers are made is that the hairs and stuff in your nose act like AC filters and collect dust and particles and things in your nose that form into boogers. There aren't that many variations of boogers, really. Mine are either dry and white like coconut or slimey and white like when you are swimming. Sometimes they are bloody. Sometimes you get a bonus piano wire hair stuck to them. The higher grade ones are yellowy brown. My faves are when they are huge and when you flick them off you can see them fly through the air. Rolling them first can be satisfying too. I need to check my AC filter. It's one of those big ass kind that is under the furnace. They cost like $30. I haven't changed it all year. It will dominate my thoughts now. I hate sweaters. I don't hate ginger snaps but they aren't a go to cookie. They are cookies that would taste kick ass after swimming. Not the iced ones though. That is some suspect looking icing.

Author:	Tit Whistle [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
I have no idea what ragonk is and I don't feel particularly compelled to Google it. I am an old man on a young man's internet. I don't have any idea what any of this shit is anymore and I don't care to learn. You should check and replace your furnace filter ASAP. From what I understand, those expensive ones that last a long time are a waste of money. You should just buy the cheap shit ones and replace them every month. It's not so much about filtering the pollutants as it is letting the air flow and reducing the amount of work your furnace does. It learned about this on Thanksgiving when I got an explanation from the father-in-law. I was drinking at the time so I may not have it all straight. I was drinking a Ft. Worth brew called Buffalo Butt. It was stout and rather tasty, and yes, I bought it solely for the name. What do you talk to your father-in-law about on holidays? Do you ask him about Socialism just to liven things up? Mine won't take that bait which I actually appreciate.

Author:	Trained Goucho [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:04 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
The dynamic at my in laws doesn't really lend itself to conventional conversations, Tit. I steer away from politics to avoid the earful of yelling about our N for a Prez. Typically there is a football game on which my FIL will comment on, (he likes the Steelers) usually in regards to the amount of negroes that have suited up. My father in law is a hard dude to even look at, even harder to talk to. He is a retired postal worker with over 50 years of rage filled service. His body has been ravaged from cancer and alcoholism and he is a skeleton of a human with a phlegmy voice that is kinda gross, pretty creepy, tinged with anger and bitterness, yet yearning for acceptance on some level with me anyway. I think he knows he's burned his bridges with his retard son that lives in the converted garage, his insane wife, my wife, and his other son who is a mailman too, so he tries to be mine and Hank's buddy. Hank loves that fucker tho, that cockroach man of a human that will not die. He'll probably outlive Hank. I would not let him babysit if I had a kid I didn't want to get doodled. Just a vibe. He also has 6 DUIs on his resume with a demolition derby looking Saturn in the driveway with bumpers held together with zip ties, dented fenders, and scuff marks all over. That wouldn't be anything to talk about tho although I'm intrigued on how he gets out of them, how he affords it, and what kind of seedy places he goes to. The MIL found Viagra in his glove box a year or so ago. Yuck. He was accosted at a park near a dam on a lake around the same time. Hmmmm. Home improvement stuff or ac filters would be a dud too. They've lived in the same house for over 40 years and have never updated anything. The dishwasher has never worked for as long as I've known them. The mother in law hides her petty cash in it.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
My father in law has a hard time speaking english. My mother in law doesn't speak english at all. When the wifeys family comes over it sounds like I've got univision on in the background. I'm not expected to be in the conversation and that's fine with me.

Author:	Tit Whistle [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:12 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Wow. I barely tolerate my in-laws (like I barely tolerate most people), but I think I won the lottery compared to you guys.

Author:	jim jack [ Sun Dec 28, 2014 2:29 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
I saw a panhandler in Denton get a ticket on Saturday. It was a young guy with a dog. The panhandling ordinance occurred because of the problem that they were causing to downtown restaurants that had outdoor tables. People couldn't eat their fucking meals without people bugging them for handouts. After a lot of debate, the law was changed. I can't believe that city actually did something right. It's rare. Being in IT, I get tons of questions about what laptop to buy. Because of the squirrelly nature of laptops in general, I really hate getting these questions. Last Sunday morning a guy texted me with this, and I wanted to ask him why was he skipping church to ask such a stupid question. Or, he could go to google, or even googleitbitch.com. Speaking of that, a guy named Kevin from Florida owns that domain. Good on him. I am rambling, but then, I am drunk. When I was in elementary, we used to have wild dodge ball games, and they were rough. I got my first concussion in one. One feature of our games was, girls had to play, too. A few were really good players. However, it was really funny when one got hit in the boobs. And on one occasion, one of my classmates side-armed a ball right off of a fat girl's pussy. My team immediately dropped to the ground, paralyzed from laughter. Being a Linux nut, I have noticed that Adobe has stopped support for Flash for Firefox on Linux. I get warnings about it not working. But damned near every website I visit doesn't need it. So, fuck Adobe. A popular Ticket drop is of Doogie Anderson yelling, "Come on!" and it is always appropriate when played. I follow him on Twitter. His female companion is of the chocolate pursuasion. Doogie appears to be a Christian, which makes me happy. When I see a post of his, I think of the song that used to play before his show. Many years ago, Mrs. Hoob went with me to whatever school I was working at at the time. There was a sign outside, admonishing skateboard man to not ride there. Included on the sign was "no scooter riding," but some smartass had changed it to "no cooter riding." In a really loud voice and in front of others she asked, "What does no cooter riding mean?" I just put my head down and smiled. Drunken ramblings.

Author:	jim jack [ Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
This entry is only about bottle caps. A couple of weeks ago, my landlady said, "Hoob, I have these locally brewed beers that were made by a friend. Would you like them?" Free beer. Yes, please. After I ran out of my swill, I wanted one of them there free beers. But I needed a bottle opener. I had none. Tonight, same thing happened. Went through the Hoob Sex Shack, no opener. When I was a kid drinking Lone Star Long Necks, I could use the clasps on the car door. That shit don't work on Hondas. My best friend used to use his teeth to open bottles. He is 105 miles away. Finally, I figured out that the broiler drawer on the oven will open one. Hot diggity damn. Free beer! Oh, but this beer sucks. What is the fucking fascination with beer that tastes like varnish?

Author:	bigboy [ Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
A pair of needle nose pliers, if used delicately, can be a sturdy substitute for a bottle opener.

Author:	Ichabod [ Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
In the late 70s/early 80s twist off caps started appearing on long neck bottles. I was in the Last Lap Tavern and ordered a "Bud in a Bottle" which the bartender placed in front of me unopened. Not knowing it was a twist cap I asked him if he was going to open it for me, to which he proceeded to grab the bottle with his right hand and laid the neck in the crook of his left arm over his elbow, "made a muscle" and twisted the cap off and placed back in front of me in one fluid motion. My bar buddies razed me pretty good, but I was ready when the next round was ordered. I grabbed the bottle, laid it in the crook of my arm, made a muscle and twisted... I proceeded to rip the flesh from my arm as my buddy had ordered a different brand that had not adopted the twist cap yet! The bartender just shook his head in disgust as he went down the line with his bottle opener.

Author:	or somesuch [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Tit Whistle wrote: What do you talk to your father-in-law about on holidays? He's with Jesus, but religion and politics are two issues he probably didn't want to hear my opinion on. As far as racist fundies go though, he was a pretty good dude.

Author:	cap [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Sweet Greggo wrote: My father in law has a hard time speaking english. My mother in law doesn't speak english at all. When the wifeys family comes over it sounds like I've got univision on in the background. I'm not expected to be in the conversation and that's fine with me. that's a perfect in law relationship. And the telenovelas have hot chicks.

Author:	jim jack [ Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me. When I see pictures of young couples on Facebook that are out on a date, I am dying to ask in the comments, "Sex?" I am probably the last person in the country to get HD TV. It happened this week. Meh. Because of the nature of my work, I haven't been off work since last Christmas, and many weekends were tainted by work. So, this holiday was really appreciated. Only engaged in old people sex once during that time. But it was glorious. Speaking of that, I wonder if Jethro ever knocked off a piece from Elly May during breaks in filming.

Author:	jim jack [ Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me. When I was taking piano lessons in 1974, my teacher lured me into her den to listen to an old recording of "Let it Be." It was on vinyl, of course. But there was a kicker. It was in quadraphonic sound. On quadraphonic headphones. Little Hoob was immediately greeted with the sound of two speakers in each ear. Even though I had never experienced this before, this eighth grader realized that something different has being heard. It was really cool. Then I went home and had a Banquet TV dinner. Years later, the zoo (KZEW) supposedly broadcasted the occasional show in quad, but I didn't have the capability to hear it in that format. I wonder if my cool piano teacher did. I left out that part about her being a preacher's wife. I had dumbfuck friends who insisted on calling it "quadraphonic stereo." I am convinced that they are what killed the format. Hoob.

Author:	Trained Goucho [ Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.

Author:	fruitdog [ Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
I must have about 20 bottle openers.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
The wifey can open a bottle with a bic lighter. I've seen mexicans opening them with another bottle. They are a creative bunch.

Author:	jim jack [ Thu May 14, 2015 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Getting rid of junk at schools can be a chore. Hoob ISD uses an online auction site, Rene Bates Auctioneers to get rid of crap. I drunkenly clicked on it tonight and noticed that the county of Tarrant was selling "one horse and one goat." The horse is named Buster, and the goat is named Fred. Both have received six bids, and both are currently at $45 each. Come on, P-1s, isn't Fred worth more than $45? Wait a minute. Do goats really bring that much at sale? About a year ago, I sold several dozen broken CRT monitors on this site. Some guy came up with a flatbed trailer and hauled them all off. I took one look at him and wondered if he could spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T. I think I made $50 on 'em. I also sold a pretty nice color copier this way. The buyer was a soul bruthuh preacher, who had already bought one copier somewhere else that he couldn't fix and he was afraid the church would be mad at him for buying another one. I reassured him that he would make up for it with this purchase, and it made me happy. Oh look, the City of Alvarado is selling this item: Seized 2007 53' Reefer Trailer. Nothing like slang language that means more than one thing. There is no way I'll ever make a more spare post than this one.

Author:	cap [ Fri May 15, 2015 7:45 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
jim jack wrote: Getting rid of junk at schools can be a chore. Hoob ISD uses an online auction site, Rene Bates Auctioneers to get rid of crap. I drunkenly clicked on it tonight and noticed that the county of Tarrant was selling "one horse and one goat." The horse is named Buster, and the goat is named Fred. Both have received six bids, and both are currently at $45 each. Come on, P-1s, isn't Fred worth more than $45? . we use the same site. We're selling running zeero turn mowers i'm interested it. ReneBates has a bunch of junk that's useful. My brother has 100 acres out in Westt Texas and he buys tractors and attachments for dirt cheap

Author:	jim jack [ Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me, lick me. This is kind of a negative ranty post. Lots of talk amongst us old timers about water levels at the lakes. They didn't agree with my suggestion that they issue an advisory for nipple-sized hail during thunderstorms. The P1 Domo guy still posts ragonk shit. I hate that sonofabitch. The talk about the old guard of the Salesmanship Club that I heard last Friday is typical Corby bullshit. I was listening that day when they were measuring boobs at the pavilion. I was thinking, damn, this is really not appropriate even for them. Blaming it on the women was a horrible excuse. When I heard the Hard Line was banned, I wasn't surprised. Still, I am glad they got to come back. Time is a great healer. I don't attend high school graduations unless I am made to go. The stupider the kid, the louder the family when their crotchfruit's name is announced. I also don't understand all of the over the top congratulations for an average kid. Were they Valedictorian or Salutatorian? Maybe so. After all that has happened in the women department, I am still not divorced. But the wheels are rolling on it and should be done during this summer. Getting to keep my own paychecks will seem really strange.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Do you get to keep the piano?

Author:	jim jack [ Sat Jun 06, 2015 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Sweet Greggo wrote: Do you get to keep the piano? Yep. I got any furniture that I wanted, which wasn't much since it was mostly crap.

Author:	Trained Goucho [ Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Come back, hoob.

Author:	Tit Whistle [ Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
My money's on Hoob got done in by the jealous ex of some piece of tail he was pulling.

Author:	or somesuch [ Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:07 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Trained Goucho wrote: Come back, hoob.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:19 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
or somesuch wrote: Trained Goucho wrote: Come back, hoob.

Author:	jim jack [ Wed Sep 16, 2015 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
Talk about me being filled with lead by some jealous husband was fun to read.

Author:	Tit Whistle [ Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.

Author:	bigboy [ Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.
I never lost faith that you were still alive, Hoob. I just thought you were locked up as a gimp in some crazy-ass piece of tail's crawl space.

Author:	Sweet Greggo [ Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob.