I endorse this thread heartily.
drunk Hoob.
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| Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob. http://removerowdy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=1627 |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Thu May 11, 2006 10:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob. |
Belch. Okay, I'll go first. Wait. If beer makes women look better, why can't it improve the appearance of my hands? This week was teacher appreciation week. What did I get for my efforts? Not a thing. People that I know in other schools got all sorts of gifts, but all the slaves at Hoob HS got was a mandatory insurance meeting. Way to make us feel welcome, you bad managers. *Opening another beer.* A few years ago I joined a group of golfers who turned out to be from Little Elm. I wonder if Cap was in that group. Man, how about the main businesses on Fry Street getting bought out? They are gonna bulldoze that place within a year and put in some corporate retail places like a Starbucks, CVS and who knows what else. I bet those flea-infested college kids down there will form some sort of human chain to stop the bulldozers. I really don't care about that area at all except for Mr. Chopsticks. It was a good cafe. I remember when zzasdjfljakdfjzzzzzzzzzz. |
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| Author: | Sweet Greggo [ Fri May 12, 2006 7:37 am ] |
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this has goodstrong thread potential. |
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| Author: | rowdyhatinwalt [ Fri May 12, 2006 7:39 am ] |
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I endorse this thread heartily. drunk Hoob.
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| Author: | Diello [ Fri May 12, 2006 11:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob. |
jim jack wrote: Man, how about the main businesses on Fry Street getting bought out? They are gonna bulldoze that place within a year and put in some corporate retail places like a Starbucks, CVS and who knows what else. I bet those flea-infested college kids down there will form some sort of human chain to stop the bulldozers. I really don't care about that area at all except for Mr. Chopsticks. It was a good cafe. I remember when zzasdjfljakdfjzzzzzzzzzz.
So does this include the Flying Tomato and Cool Beans? |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sat May 13, 2006 1:47 am ] |
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The Tomato, yes. Cool Beans, no. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sat May 13, 2006 2:02 am ] |
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Good grief. How did I make it home. Played a gig out at Lake Texoma, drank...a lot. A few things came to mind. 1. A lot of mosquitoes bit me tonight. Do they react differently to blood that has a high blood alcohol content? Because I sure as shit was drunk when they bit me. 2. Are there people who are the pubic barbers for pron stars? The trend today is for the people who star in adult movies, male and female, to be clean shaven "down there." I wonder who does it, and what exactly do they put on their resume? 3. What possesses men to attempt to cut a fat girl's meat? I just don't get it. Girls, if you are fat but are hurtin' for some lovin', just go to a bar tonight. Some desperate man will attempt to throw you down for some grex. I've seen it a thousand times and it never fails to boggle the mind. Let's see how much of this I delete when I wake up tomorrow. Belch. Hoob. |
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| Author: | cameltoe [ Sat May 13, 2006 3:46 am ] |
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jim jack wrote: Good grief. How did I make it home. Played a gig out at Lake Texoma, drank...a lot.
A few things came to mind. 1. A lot of mosquitoes bit me tonight. Do they react differently to blood that has a high blood alcohol content? Because I sure as shit was drunk when they bit me. 2. Are there people who are the pubic barbers for pron stars? The trend today is for the people who star in adult movies, male and female, to be clean shaven "down there." I wonder who does it, and what exactly do they put on their resume? 3. What possesses men to attempt to cut a fat girl's meat? I just don't get it. Girls, if you are fat but are hurtin' for some lovin', just go to a bar tonight. Some desperate man will attempt to throw you down for some grex. I've seen it a thousand times and it never fails to boggle the mind. Let's see how much of this I delete when I wake up tomorrow. Belch. Hoob. i am glad you made it home safe and wish i could master the articulate drunken rambling. |
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| Author: | rowdyhatinwalt [ Sat May 13, 2006 9:34 am ] |
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cameltoe wrote: jim jack wrote: Good grief. How did I make it home. Played a gig out at Lake Texoma, drank...a lot. A few things came to mind. 1. A lot of mosquitoes bit me tonight. Do they react differently to blood that has a high blood alcohol content? Because I sure as shit was drunk when they bit me. 2. Are there people who are the pubic barbers for pron stars? The trend today is for the people who star in adult movies, male and female, to be clean shaven "down there." I wonder who does it, and what exactly do they put on their resume? 3. What possesses men to attempt to cut a fat girl's meat? I just don't get it. Girls, if you are fat but are hurtin' for some lovin', just go to a bar tonight. Some desperate man will attempt to throw you down for some grex. I've seen it a thousand times and it never fails to boggle the mind. Let's see how much of this I delete when I wake up tomorrow. Belch. Hoob. wish i could master the articulate drunken rambling. You'd be boring as fuck if you ever did. |
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sat May 13, 2006 10:37 am ] |
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 inline toe > articulate toe
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sat May 13, 2006 2:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob. |
Diello wrote: jim jack wrote: Man, how about the main businesses on Fry Street getting bought out? They are gonna bulldoze that place within a year and put in some corporate retail places like a Starbucks, CVS and who knows what else. I bet those flea-infested college kids down there will form some sort of human chain to stop the bulldozers. I really don't care about that area at all except for Mr. Chopsticks. It was a good cafe. I remember when zzasdjfljakdfjzzzzzzzzzz. So does this include the Flying Tomato and Cool Beans? According to the Denton paper, here's what is getting bulldozed: Mr. Chopsticks The Tomato Texas Jive Naranja Cafe Bagheri Italian Restaurant Spirit Station Java Flakes Uncommon Grounds Treasure Aisles Bottoms Up Talon Comics Shop University of North Texas Police Department satellite office Vacant call center (former grocery store) |
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| Author: | cameltoe [ Sat May 13, 2006 2:36 pm ] |
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Grubes wrote: :babyarm: inline toe > articulate toe
sons of bitches 
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| Author: | Diello [ Sat May 13, 2006 6:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hoob's drunken ramblings. By Hoob. |
jim jack wrote: Diello wrote: jim jack wrote: Man, how about the main businesses on Fry Street getting bought out? They are gonna bulldoze that place within a year and put in some corporate retail places like a Starbucks, CVS and who knows what else. I bet those flea-infested college kids down there will form some sort of human chain to stop the bulldozers. I really don't care about that area at all except for Mr. Chopsticks. It was a good cafe. I remember when zzasdjfljakdfjzzzzzzzzzz. So does this include the Flying Tomato and Cool Beans? According to the Denton paper, here's what is getting bulldozed: Mr. Chopsticks The Tomato Texas Jive Naranja Cafe Bagheri Italian Restaurant Spirit Station Java Flakes Uncommon Grounds Treasure Aisles Bottoms Up Talon Comics Shop University of North Texas Police Department satellite office Vacant call center (former grocery store) Is there a date for this yet? |
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| Author: | bigboy [ Sat May 13, 2006 8:36 pm ] |
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I've gone to UNT part-time for 8 years and I've never set foot in any of those establishments. I guess I should check them out soon. |
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sat May 13, 2006 8:46 pm ] |
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 - "EIGHT!!!"
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| Author: | bigboy [ Sat May 13, 2006 8:50 pm ] |
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 Yeh, I've been working on my undergrad degree longer than most physicians stay in school.
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sat May 13, 2006 8:52 pm ] |
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bigboy wrote: :dep: Yeh, I've been working on my undergrad degree longer than most physicians stay in school.
Hey, a lot of people go to college for 8 years. |
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| Author: | bigboy [ Sat May 13, 2006 8:55 pm ] |
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I know. They're called doctors. |
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sat May 13, 2006 10:41 pm ] |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sun May 14, 2006 9:24 am ] |
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Came home from Saturday night's gig sober. 
Everybody got laid except me.
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sun May 14, 2006 9:14 pm ] |
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The end of a three day drunk, a pretty good weekend if I must say so my damn self. What possesses cute women to dress up in their skanky best and sashay (yes I know how to spell it, dick breath) into a boot scootin place? Last night we finished at the same time as the band next door, and I was amazed at the number of hot girls coming out of there. All of the women at the club I played at look like the FUPA calendar girls who live on my street. Nobody near Hoob acres is worth lusting after. All of the women who live on my street are fat and ugly: every single one of you bitches. Put your house on the market. Today. I noticed that "Cops" replaced the rained-out Rangers game today. Although I love the Rangers, I bet Cops got higher ratings than the Rangers would have. I think there should be one uncensored channel on broadcast TV. Even though I'm old, I knew what the acronym FUB stood for (fat ugly bitch), but I had never heard until today the one called TUB: Torn up bitch. Hoob. |
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| Author: | rowdyhatinwalt [ Sun May 14, 2006 9:34 pm ] |
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jim jack wrote: Nobody near Hoob acres is worth lusting after.
Hoob. Don't sell yourself short, sailor. |
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| Author: | Sweet Greggo [ Fri May 19, 2006 7:51 am ] |
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I think hoob acres is funny. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Wed May 24, 2006 11:48 pm ] |
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Right now, I stink. And it makes me wonder. Would my employer actually do something to me if I didn't bathe for a week? Two weeks? How would they approach it...."Uh, Mr. Hoob, uh, you need to bathe. Or we are gonna have to terminate you." Nope, they couldn't bring themselves to do it. The very idea of telling an employee that they reek is too tough for most bosses. I don't think they have the guts. But I did it to an employee many years ago. To a young lady. Speaking of women, what is the protocol when they catch you looking at their breasts? I know, many women actually want you to look down there. But you aren't really SUPPOSED TO GET CAUGHT. This happened to me a couple of days ago and I felt terrible because I was caught staring at some milk-filled knockers, then realized that I was busted. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. A couple of days ago a student got mad at me and went on a cussing spree. He made me laugh when he said, "You want to hear some bad language? How about this...FUCK!" Hoob. |
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| Author: | Hillary Duff Divin [ Sat May 27, 2006 10:07 pm ] |
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jim jack wrote: Right now, I stink. And it makes me wonder.
Speaking of women, what is the protocol when they catch you looking at their breasts? I know, many women actually want you to look down there. But you aren't really SUPPOSED TO GET CAUGHT. This happened to me a couple of days ago and I felt terrible because I was caught staring at some milk-filled knockers, then realized that I was busted. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Hoob. Just do what I always do - look her straight in the eye, hold out your hand, and say "I'm Walter Kimbrough. Damn glad you met me. Wanna fuck?" |
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sat May 27, 2006 10:07 pm ] |
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| Author: | cameltoe [ Sat May 27, 2006 11:26 pm ] |
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Hillary Duff Divin wrote: jim jack wrote: Right now, I stink. And it makes me wonder. Speaking of women, what is the protocol when they catch you looking at their breasts? I know, many women actually want you to look down there. But you aren't really SUPPOSED TO GET CAUGHT. This happened to me a couple of days ago and I felt terrible because I was caught staring at some milk-filled knockers, then realized that I was busted. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Hoob. Just do what I always do - look her straight in the eye, hold out your hand, and say "I'm Walter Kimbrough. Damn glad you met me. Wanna fuck?" no real nam... aw fuck it. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sun May 28, 2006 3:46 am ] |
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I'm damned glad others could contribute to my piss poor thread. Tonight, I got drunk. Really drunk. But so what? Lots of others did, too. I played poorly as a result. Next week I promise I won't drink during our show, but of course, I will end up doing it anyway. A friend of mine has had this woman after him for months. She'd do anything for a roll in the hay with him. However, she is not attractive to him. In fact, she is not attractive to anyone with decent eyesight. I wish I could help him, but alas, I cannot. In other news, I opened the side door of the club tonight to get some fresh air, and, behold, a man was getting a blow job from a cute young lady. I closed the door immediately. Then I did the only thing that any man would have done. I opened the door again just to get another look. Hoooooooob. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sun May 28, 2006 10:54 pm ] |
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*Pones another beer.* I wonder what would happen if I just went out and randomly emptied a clip outside in the back yard...Don't worry, I won't do it. But I can just picture it. I have concluded that I'm a hick with a college education. Proof? I watched auto racing today. Speaking of racing, I don't hate NASCAR. I like all of the drivers. BUT I HATE THE FANS. They annoy me. They throw crap on the track if their darling doesn't win. It's stupid. Die, motherfuckers. Except for me. Mark Cuban is a necessary evil. If he wasn't owner of the Mavs, we'd still be listening to "Shout" during timeouts and hoping for 25 wins in a season. F Don Carter and whoever else had the team before little Frankenstein got it. Speaking of Donald Carter, he has a helicopter that flies over the Hoob Ranch on occasion. I am in desperate need of sleep. I hate snobs, especially beer snobs. Zzzzzzz. Hoob. |
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| Author: | Grubes [ Sun May 28, 2006 11:03 pm ] |
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Drunk Hoob = fun. |
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| Author: | TerdFerguson [ Sun May 28, 2006 11:05 pm ] |
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This may not be cool to admit but "Shout" still gets me fired up and reminds of the old Reunion days. I play it at the end of Mavs wins and Fruit, Somey and I dance around. |
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| Author: | fruitdog [ Tue May 30, 2006 10:40 am ] |
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I THOUGHT THAT WAS DONE IN THE CONE OF SILENCE!!! |
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| Author: | Diello [ Tue May 30, 2006 10:49 am ] |
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TerdFerguson wrote: This may not be cool to admit but "Shout" still gets me fired up and reminds of the old Reunion days. I play it at the end of Mavs wins and Fruit, Somey and I dance around.
You like Tears for Fears? Gay. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Tue May 30, 2006 10:15 pm ] |
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Captain Beefheart wrote: I THOUGHT THAT WAS DONE IN THE CONE OF SILENCE!!!
It probably malfunctioned again. It happens a lot. |
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| Author: | TerdFerguson [ Tue May 30, 2006 11:30 pm ] |
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Diello wrote: TerdFerguson wrote: This may not be cool to admit but "Shout" still gets me fired up and reminds of the old Reunion days. I play it at the end of Mavs wins and Fruit, Somey and I dance around. You like Tears for Fears? Gay. It's posts like these we can do without. Come on. |
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| Author: | cameltoe [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:33 am ] |
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| Author: | p1p [ Wed May 31, 2006 8:35 am ] |
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diello, he's talking to you. |
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| Author: | Diello [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:38 pm ] |
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I'm waiting for him to let it all out. |
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| Author: | TerdFerguson [ Wed May 31, 2006 1:39 pm ] |
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 <-- me jumping for joy
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| Author: | jim jack [ Fri Jun 02, 2006 1:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | hey, now |
Good grief. How in the world can guys who are dumpy and not good looking get girls who are more than 10 years younger than them? I do not get it. Here I am choosing between my left hand and my right for tonight's date, and I know crappy-looking poor guys who are trying to arrange their schedule so that they can roll in the hay with more than one hot girl this weekend and still have their wives not find out. It is not fair. Was in Austin today, have to go back on Saturday. There's some sort of motorcycle nut gathering there. I guess this means that 6th street is out. Crap. I was looking forward to going to Pete's Piano Bar, but it wasn't meant to be, I guess. Oh, well. I'm going to have to miss their stupid rendition of "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille...you bitch, you slut, you whore." (Opens another beer). Am totally sick of politics, even when I agree with what is being said. I just don't care any more. If you have four or more bumper stickers on your vehicle, there is a 50 percent chance that you are a dumbass. If you post on a message board after 1:00 a.m., there is an 80 percent chance that you are a dumbass. Dumbass. I really like that word. When school starts in August, I'm going to try it out on my kids. Why can't you use spell check before you print? Is it not working on your computer, dumbass? Cowboy hats make women look better. Tonight I saw a woman so grotesque that neither me nor my friends could answer my question of, "How many would it take" for her. But when she came back with a hat, she looked better. One of my friends was REALLY friendly with her. Cowgirl up, and F everybody in here. Hoob. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Sun Jun 11, 2006 2:19 am ] |
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I cannot sneak into the Hoob mansion with that damn dog that barks to announce my arrival and wakes up my wife. Daddy's home! Daddy's home! And he's drunk. Again. Ruff. Maybe if I wouldn't take so long to piss in the bushes before I came into the house, that dog wouldn't bark so much. I used to could sneak in before we got that dog. Opens another beer. Fuck soccer and the media that thinks that we care about it. Most people who have the Internet don't give a shit about it. The Mavericks are in the finals and they won game one, and what does ESPN.com and sports.yahoo.com lead with the next morning? The F U C K I N G World Cup. Fuck me with a lead paint-covered dodge ball. If I want to watch a stupid third world sport, I'll pay a few pesos to subscribe to ESPN Desportes with the dozens of other Americanos who give a rat's ass. What's better TV? Nine kids playing stickball in an alley, or the World Cup? Give me stickball every damn time. Hey, there's scoring in stickball. Since I subscribed to XM, I have listened to free radio about 20 minutes in the last 4 months, and that was all attempts to listen to the little Ticket. I can't imagine being stuck with free radio again. After not riding my bicycle for 3 months, I went 3 times this week. On Tuesday I went 21 miles on the "trail," which is mostly a rock road. Three months ago this was a simple jaunt in the park. It's life-threatening now because I'm not in bike shape any more. My mom really hates it that I run or ride. She'd rather that I died in a whore house than to die exerting myself while running or riding. To be honest with you, dying in a whore house seems pretty good at this point. I'm going to bed now. I'll probably dream about soccer. I wonder if I let the garage door down. Hoob. |
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| Author: | jim jack [ Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:35 am ] |
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Corollary: A natural consequence or effect; a result. Hoob's corollary #1: If you are alone on a desert island and you emit a really bad fart, a really hot girl will appear to smell it and embarrass you. Hoob's corollary #2: Take your wife somewhere and you'll see hot women everywhere. Hoob's corollary #3: Go to the same exact place without your wife and all the women there will have dog faces. ------------------------ Went to the Ranger game tonight with some friends (not Mrs. Hoob) and there were maybe 5 hot girls there out of the 28,000 in attendance. The rest had floppy ears and cold noses. The first girl I saw was one of the ugliest girls I have ever laid eyes on. Extra bonus: she tongue kissed a guy while some other guy took their picture. There's someone for everyone, I guess. I wonder how many Decker dollar dogs she stuffed up her cooch. I made $10 off of my friends betting on stuff during the game. Baseball has been very good to me. Boy, was I ever right on the Fry Street people getting their panties in a wad over their little area being bought out. They've created myspace pages to help their cause. That should really bring the developers to their knees. Soccer is for fags, and so is your butthole. I now have a folder in my bookmarks called "My Space Idiots." It's people that I know that have myspace pages. Some are my students. I think I'm about to register on myspace as "mulettard" and make me some new friends. If that doesn't work, I'll try out chiwanna and Dr. Hoopenstein. If gay people had written the Japanese monster movies, would there have been titles like Fagzilla vs. Megaqueer? Saw some sorority bitches tonight driving a cheap Nissan. Do they have sororities for welfare recipients now? Hoob. |
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| Author: | Tit Whistle [ Thu Jun 15, 2006 8:44 am ] |
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jim jack wrote: I now have a folder in my bookmarks called "My Space Idiots." It's people that I know that have myspace pages. Some are my students. I think I'm about to register on myspace as "mulettard" and make me some new friends. If that doesn't work, I'll try out chiwanna and Dr. Hoopenstein.
Don't forget http://www.myspace.com/thebmshow |
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