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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:10 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
My kid was riding her bike one day last week and I decided to dust off my bike and air up the tires. I made a couple of laps up and down the block and nearly busted my ass on the uneven transition from the street to the driveway. I sat in my chair for the next hour wishing that Hoob had warned me to stay away from my bike.


I keep a bike in my office, and I commonly ride it to various campuses when I don't have any equipment to carry. It's especially handy if I need to go somewhere during student dropoff/pickup hours and I can avoid the gridlock that every campus has.

Last spring I rode down some steps at the elementary and came really close to getting pitched over the handlebars. They were steeper than I thought they were, and I could feel the back tire lifting up. It scared the crap out of me.

I wasn't wearing a helmet. I would have cracked my fool head open and made dumbass of the day.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:35 am 
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I don't have the full story yet but apparently my boss did that last weekend. He did a faceplant off his bike and his face looks like he got the shit pounded outta him in a bar fight and he won't be into work for awhile. May actually need some facial surgery. Most likely he was wearing a helmet and that probably kept his ass from being dead or in the produce section right now. Make sure you wear your helmets, kids.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 2:55 pm 
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It's always smart to make sure you're wearing a helmet when you're in a bar fight.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:34 pm 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
I don't have the full story yet but apparently my boss did that last weekend. He did a faceplant off his bike and his face looks like he got the shit pounded outta him in a bar fight and he won't be into work for awhile. May actually need some facial surgery. Most likely he was wearing a helmet and that probably kept his ass from being dead or in the produce section right now. Make sure you wear your helmets, kids.


Poor guy looks like someone took a bag of quarters to his face. :sad:

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:14 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
It's always smart to make sure you're wearing a helmet when you're in a bar fight.


Amen to that! My last bar fight the little pecker hit me three times before I realized that I'd been hit. :eek: Never did get all the blood out of that white sweater I was wearing. :neutral:

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:22 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:12 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:14 pm 
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It's spring break at Hoob ISD, and I have worked a couple of days including today. Suddenly I realized the foolishness of my actions, went home and got my bike, and off to Johnson Branch I went. Because I haven't been there in nearly three years, I chose the "easier" 5.1 mile loop.

Right off the bat my gears got stuck in high range, and that got old after a mile or so. Dismounted and coaxed the chain down to the lower third of the big sprocket. Didn't wreck, but I did get bucked off near the end. Chickened out on this one place where Mrs. Hoob once yelled "smartass!" for flying off of some dangerous rocks. It was one of her finest moments. Mine, too.

I wanted none of that today. In fact, I was terrified for the first mile or so. What a difference three years can make.

The crap with the gears was the last straw for that bike. Afterwards, I went to Denton Bicycle Center and bought a replacement for my 2003 Trek. My new bike is also a Trek, so bike shitheads will still look down on me like I'm riding a Walmart bike. I don't care.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:33 am 
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I want to ride again.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:17 pm 
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On Saturday I mounted the new bike and took a spin around the area. Back home in the driveway, I noticed some new gardening at the landlord's house and I pedaled over to take a good look at it.

I heard the landlady's voice out back and I thought I'd go see what she and her husband were doing. But I couldn't find them. I called out and immediately got two panicked voices and I was ordered to not come any closer.

They were in their hot tub that was hidden behind some small trees, and I'm guessing they were nude. And they sounded drunk. I excused myself and rode back home, laughing all the way.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:34 pm 
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:D

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:55 pm 
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And just like that, this thread suddenly becomes the "Watch Hoob fail at having a hot tub threesome with his landlord blog".

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 9:26 pm 
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Today I decided to take the bike to Johnson Branch for a ride. I had to take the old bike but the old gal held together.

The goal was to do the intermediate trail of about 7 miles and be done with it. However, I decided that I would ride the advanced trail and then walk over the 5 places that has flipped my old ass in the past. No idea why I thought this was a good idea. It's a 9 mile ride and took 1 hour, 40 minutes. When I'm in shape I can do it in an hour twenty.

Climbing was fairly fun and it went ok. I have a serious bone-on-bone situation going on with one of my knees but I didn't have any trouble with it during the ride. Didn't wreck, but I did nearly end up in a steep ravine. Had to grab hold of a tree to save my old ass.

My goal is to lose 30 pounds by the time school starts up in August. I'm on day 73 of no drinking and my diet is more chicken and fish and less beef. I am halfway to my goal but more exercising needs to happen. The Hoobstress calls me skinny but I look like I have a baby bump and I hate it.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 9:15 pm 
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Day two of vacation, day two to ride.

A new mountain bike trail has opened near me. It's extremely easy and flat and that's fine with me. Rode it for the first time yesterday and sweated like a mofo. Being out of shape will do that. Also got lost on the trail once, but even that was fun. Having this trail means I can throw the Trek in my SUV and ride a few miles after work. Riding an easy trail means I won't be in danger of repeating all of the dumb stuff that has happened to me at Johnson Branch.

Speaking of dumb stuff, today I went out to Johnson Branch and rode. It's 55 miles from Hoob Acres. It was easily worth the drive. I broke the strap on my Camelbak (water back pack) because it had disintegrated from years of old man sweat.

My buttass is sore now and will have to take a day off. But a kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:26 pm 
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Rode the new trail today, quickly found myself in higher gears than I normally use because the place is pretty easy to ride.

Noticed the directional arrows had changed, and I figured the trail guy had finished a new section. In reality, he was WORKING on a new section and wanted riders to ride on it to help get the trail broken in. It was at least a mile to the dead end, so riding that little piece was a 2 mile jaunt. Good thing I'm not a parent with small children or a beginner.

Rode the 2 mile trail 3 times for six miles, did the dead end thing twice for four miles, 10 miles total. Was on the bike for an hour, 15 minutes. Sweated a lot.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 5:28 pm 
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I pulled the bike out of storage last weekend, aired up the tires and hit trail in Colleyville. Got a little over 3 miles before the back tire blew out. Fat guys on 6 year old tires do not mix well. I walked a half mile to a bench area and waited 40 minutes for my riding buddy to ride back to his truck and come pick me up. A kickass time was had.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:54 pm 
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Oh no, that's awful. There is nothing I hate like walking it in after a malfunction of some sort.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:40 pm 
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Went a little bit earlier today, was on the bike the same amount of time as yesterday. The trailblazer guy is finishing up the second loop and it may be done the next time I go out there.

That's four rides in five days. The wise thing to do would be to rest a couple of days. I've ridden my old 2003 Trek every single time and not my new bike.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:37 pm 
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Went to the new Bridgeport trail the past two days. I can do a leisurely lap in 30 minutes, hauling ass takes 20. Went three laps today, decided to do the last lap in a dead sprint because I didn't want to be out there at or near dark.

You see, I fear the copperhead snake and this is one of the worst years I've ever seen for those things. They seem to be plentiful at dusk.

Anyway, a kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:44 pm 
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I see the forum has returned to normal.

Third day in a row to ride, noticed some chafing going on in my legs. I need to rest a couple of days.

Encountered a few wild hogs on the ride. Those things are in "aw hell no" category for me. I haven't heard of them bothering cyclists on any trails, but I don't want to be the first.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 10:04 pm 
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After the rain we got a few days ago, I haven't been able to get a ride in. Went today and I had a brand new speedometer/odometer to keep me company. Why do bike fags call them computers? It's a fucking speedometer.

I learned today that a lap on this trail is 3.65 miles. Noticed a new trail was being blazed, explored it until I hit a dead end.

Went two laps. A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:38 pm 
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Had time on Sunday to ride four laps, 16.65 miles. Experimented with various gear settings and I don't know why. It was in the low nineties when I took off, so I guess it was a little easier than usual.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:20 pm 
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I got some new tubes for the bike. They're supposed to be super tough self-healing jobbers. They've got a "presta" stem. Weird. I had to buy an adapter just to air them up.

My bud and I went for another ride. This time I did 11-12 miles. I couldn't keep up with him. He's a bigger guy, but it didn't look like he was peddling any faster than I was. I've got a mountain bike and he bought a hybrid. Mine weighs quite a bit more and I've got big ol' fat knobbies so I know I have to work a little harder, but it's almost like I had to pedal twice as much to keep up. My guess is maybe his gears are setup for more speed? Also I think he might have 27" tires vs my 26". That would probably make a huge difference.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:06 pm 
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Probably both gears and tire size. That's not a pissant distance at all. Glad you rode.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:13 pm 
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After work, I hurriedly dressed and went to the local trail. Went three laps plus a little bit of exploring, was 11 1/2 miles in all.

Started off in a higher gear than normal. Was thinking to myself that I was a wild motocross rider, then I took a corner way too fast and hit a tree with my pedal. While my foot was in the pedal. This really hurt for a while, but that turned out to be my only miscue for the day.

After one lap, I noticed an older woman was about to get on the trail. Once I finished, I messed around in the parking lot until she appeared. She chatted me up and a good conversation was had. I'd say she was about 50. She was in the "would" category.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 5:59 pm 
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With rain in the forecast, I decided the thing to do was to get in a hard workout and then tough it out in the 100 degree heat. Did the workout part, pre-hydrated and took off to the trail. If the forecast turned out to be true, this would be the last chance to ride this week.

About 4 miles away from the trail, I realized that I was too late. Lighting strikes were all over the place. Made a u-turn and came back home.

And now, weather shit is on at Hoob Acres.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 12:52 pm 
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Mountain GOAT Hoob:

I bought a mountain bike because I wanted to actually go off road. I've been concerned I'm too fat and out of shape to get through a trail though and will get stuck out in the wilderness and have to eat one of my feet to survive until I'm discovered and air lifted to safety. Are the "easy" trails mild enough that even fat asses like me can make it all the way through? How is passing handled on a trail? Is it proper etiquette to pull over and let someone pass or are they just doomed to swim in my fart wake until the end of the trail? Have you ever rode at River Legacy in Arlington? Have you ever been to Wrigley?

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 2:17 pm 
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I haven't done anything off road at River Legacy, but I always hear that the trails are relatively easy. I have a buddy that takes his kids out there pretty regularly and I know they ride off road. He wouldn't do that if it was too difficult. The park is real narrow, so it would be pretty hard to get lost. If you do, just head south and you'll hit Green Oaks eventually.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 6:00 pm 
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I haven't ridden there, but Big Boy sounds like he's got it right. From the DORBA website:

Home to the “River Rats”; the River Legacy Trail is more than 10 miles of some of the best cross country trail around. The trail is suitable for beginner riders but also boast some significant “challenge areas” for the more skilled. If you’re ready; you’ll want to hit EKG, Roller Coaster Ridge, and of course, Fun Town. All challenge areas have convenient bypasses for those who need just a little more trail time. The flow at River Legacy is amazing, with some riders equating it to a "waltz on wheels". Bring the family or bring the stop watch, you won’t be disappointed. Fun, Fast and Full of Surprises, this trail is guaranteed to send you home with a grin from ear to ear.

River Legacy Mountain Bike Trail has two trail designations:

Blue : indicates trail routes that are suitable for most off-road riders. The route may include nominal drops and climbs as well as rollers, tight turns and other features common to entry level Cross Country Cycling. Many of the trail features will have an associated bypass.

Red : indicates trail routes that contain more challenging trail features. Some portions of a Red Route will include significant drops, harder climbs rapidly changing rolling terrain and narrow bridges and ridges. It is strongly recommended that a rider be very comfortable with riding the blue route before attempting any Red section. All red sections have bypasses to the blue route.

As with all Mountain Biking, you should stop and examine any portion of the trail that appears beyond your current skill level. No one is keeping score on how many areas you choose to walk instead of ride, so be safe and walk any section on which you are not confident.

------------------------------

Stay on the blue trail and a kickass time will be had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:31 pm 
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After a work day that absolutely blew goats, I went to the trail after work. I finally took the new bike for the first time. I can't seem to find a damned bag to fit under the seat for my phone, ID, and keys, so I had to wear my new Camelbak and put those things in the pockets that go with it.

It took about 15 minutes to get used to this bike being taller than my old one, and the gearing was different as well. It took about 30 minutes to get used to the harder seat, but it finally did happen. Went 3 laps, 11 miles at a really fast pace and loved it. I'm not in great shape, but riding is no longer a death-defying thing.

On the last lap, I was thinking about a work problem and was not really paying much attention to my surroundings. I was jolted to my senses by 6-8 damned feral hogs that were making themselves at home on my trail. They ran off, grunting all the way. I don't like those things at all, and I said out loud, "I wonder how fast I can pedal this sonofabitch if I needed to."

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:02 am 
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Usually my routine on Saturday is very old man like: Take the trash to the dump, get the mail, go to the grocery store, knock off a piece.

I decided to work a nice ride into my Saturday morning since rain was in the forecast. Planned on going four laps, but it was hot and humid and my body was telling me no during lap three, so I stopped. It took quite a while to get cooled down.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 10:37 pm 
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Took the bike to River Legacy on Saturday morning with the specific intention of hitting the mountain bike trails. When I got there it was so crowded the entire parking lot by the trail entrance was full. 40-50 cars maybe. I parked at an adjacent lot and got all geared up but couldn't bring myself to hit the dirt trails. All I kept thinking was that I'd get stuck out there and be in the way. I need to go during the week early in the morning when it's not so crowded and get an idea of the trails to see if I can ride them. That or find a riding buddy familiar with the park that can be my Sherpa.

I rode the regular bike path for almost 11 miles. My ass hurt the rest of the day. A kickass time was indeed had.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:10 am 
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Hoob, mail a pair of gummy bear nuts to this man. Stat.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:23 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
Hoob, mail a pair of gummy bear nuts to this man. Stat.


:dep: I know.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:36 pm 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
Trained Goucho wrote:
Hoob, mail a pair of gummy bear nuts to this man. Stat.


:dep: I know.


:D


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:40 am 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
Took the bike to River Legacy on Saturday morning with the specific intention of hitting the mountain bike trails. When I got there it was so crowded the entire parking lot by the trail entrance was full. 40-50 cars maybe. I parked at an adjacent lot and got all geared up but couldn't bring myself to hit the dirt trails. All I kept thinking was that I'd get stuck out there and be in the way. I need to go during the week early in the morning when it's not so crowded and get an idea of the trails to see if I can ride them. That or find a riding buddy familiar with the park that can be my Sherpa.

I rode the regular bike path for almost 11 miles. My ass hurt the rest of the day. A kickass time was indeed had.


Nothing wrong with sticking to the paved trail at River Legacy. It's my favorite place to ride. The crowds can be a kick to the balls, especially on weekends and holidays. I made the mistake of going on Memorial Day one time and it was a sea of little kids on bikes. It's pretty clear on weekday mornings, especially when school is in. If you want to go some real distance on paved trails, look at North Richland Hills. There are 3 pretty nice trails that are networked together around NRH2O, the electrical easement that runs between there and Richland High School, and the Cottonbelt trail that runs along the train tracks from 820 all the way to Grapevine.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:06 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
Took the bike to River Legacy on Saturday morning with the specific intention of hitting the mountain bike trails. When I got there it was so crowded the entire parking lot by the trail entrance was full. 40-50 cars maybe. I parked at an adjacent lot and got all geared up but couldn't bring myself to hit the dirt trails. All I kept thinking was that I'd get stuck out there and be in the way. I need to go during the week early in the morning when it's not so crowded and get an idea of the trails to see if I can ride them. That or find a riding buddy familiar with the park that can be my Sherpa.

I rode the regular bike path for almost 11 miles. My ass hurt the rest of the day. A kickass time was indeed had.


Nothing wrong with sticking to the paved trail at River Legacy. It's my favorite place to ride. The crowds can be a kick to the balls, especially on weekends and holidays. I made the mistake of going on Memorial Day one time and it was a sea of little kids on bikes. It's pretty clear on weekday mornings, especially when school is in. If you want to go some real distance on paved trails, look at North Richland Hills. There are 3 pretty nice trails that are networked together around NRH2O, the electrical easement that runs between there and Richland High School, and the Cottonbelt trail that runs along the train tracks from 820 all the way to Grapevine.


I'm surprised you ride at RL, i figured it was too far for you to frequent. Aren't you in NRH?

I don't mind riding for distance. At one time my normal daily ride was all 7 1/2 miles of path at RL, down and back for a total of 15 miles. It just takes a REALLY long time when you're averaging 11-12 mph. I tried to average 14 mph a few years ago and it was tough.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 11:00 am 
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I'm in Bedford, but pretty close to NRH. I actually haven't been to River Legacy in a couple of years since Bigboyette went to a sitter in Euless off of 157. I could drop her off in the morning and hit River Legacy about 10 minutes later. I have the kid on my one weekday off during the summer, so I'm looking to get back into regular Monday rides in a couple of weeks.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:58 pm 
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Good grief it has been over a week since I rode. We got a big rain Monday, then 2/10 of an inch Friday morning. I was hoping the trail was dry enough for a ride, and it was. Barely. That place dries up fast.

Went three laps in the heat and humidity. The trail was damp overall and this made pedaling much more difficult. Also making it more difficult was my decision to not air up the damn tires. It was a stupid move by me.

Went three laps and I'm worn down now. Sweated like a mofo.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 9:34 pm 
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Made time to ride today. It was in the high 80s when I took off, and the breeze from riding kept me from sweating too badly. The tires were aired up properly this time, and that made hauling ass an easy chore. The goal was to go two laps and leave, noticed it was 7:40 when I finished the second lap. Decided to go a third, finished at 8:01. It was really dark in those damn trees. Officially, sunset was at 7:52 today.

It was a really fun ride. Noticed the vehicle of a lady rider in the lot, but I never actually saw her and she left before I finished my ride. Not related to that was an abandoned bike propped up against a fence. Wonder what the story is there.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 8:35 pm 
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Noticed this evening that I had a flat on the front tire of my trusty Trek. I remember seeing a thorn in it several weeks ago but was holding air just fine so I just kept on going. I think I put Slime in it a few years ago so that must have helped.

Removed the tire, found FIVE thorns in the damn thing. There was Slime all over the inside of the tire from the punctures. Geez.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:29 am 
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Found a replacement tube in my stash of stuff and fixed the flat on my bike Saturday morning. Before putting the tube in I found another thorn in the tire, had to use tweezers to get it out.

Went to the trail to get in a quick lap and check out the new section. With the new section, the track is 5 1/2 miles now. The new part had one place with some football-sized rocks to run over. The rest is mostly flat and just curves in and out of trees.

A couple of weeks ago I was Mister bike douche. Today I was back to being Mister Tired Old Man, weak as a kitten. Dang it. Why does this happen?

Even so, a kickass time was had.


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