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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:10 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
My kid was riding her bike one day last week and I decided to dust off my bike and air up the tires. I made a couple of laps up and down the block and nearly busted my ass on the uneven transition from the street to the driveway. I sat in my chair for the next hour wishing that Hoob had warned me to stay away from my bike.


I keep a bike in my office, and I commonly ride it to various campuses when I don't have any equipment to carry. It's especially handy if I need to go somewhere during student dropoff/pickup hours and I can avoid the gridlock that every campus has.

Last spring I rode down some steps at the elementary and came really close to getting pitched over the handlebars. They were steeper than I thought they were, and I could feel the back tire lifting up. It scared the crap out of me.

I wasn't wearing a helmet. I would have cracked my fool head open and made dumbass of the day.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:35 am 
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I don't have the full story yet but apparently my boss did that last weekend. He did a faceplant off his bike and his face looks like he got the shit pounded outta him in a bar fight and he won't be into work for awhile. May actually need some facial surgery. Most likely he was wearing a helmet and that probably kept his ass from being dead or in the produce section right now. Make sure you wear your helmets, kids.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 2:55 pm 
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It's always smart to make sure you're wearing a helmet when you're in a bar fight.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:34 pm 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
I don't have the full story yet but apparently my boss did that last weekend. He did a faceplant off his bike and his face looks like he got the shit pounded outta him in a bar fight and he won't be into work for awhile. May actually need some facial surgery. Most likely he was wearing a helmet and that probably kept his ass from being dead or in the produce section right now. Make sure you wear your helmets, kids.


Poor guy looks like someone took a bag of quarters to his face. :sad:

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:14 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
It's always smart to make sure you're wearing a helmet when you're in a bar fight.


Amen to that! My last bar fight the little pecker hit me three times before I realized that I'd been hit. :eek: Never did get all the blood out of that white sweater I was wearing. :neutral:

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:22 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:12 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:14 pm 
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It's spring break at Hoob ISD, and I have worked a couple of days including today. Suddenly I realized the foolishness of my actions, went home and got my bike, and off to Johnson Branch I went. Because I haven't been there in nearly three years, I chose the "easier" 5.1 mile loop.

Right off the bat my gears got stuck in high range, and that got old after a mile or so. Dismounted and coaxed the chain down to the lower third of the big sprocket. Didn't wreck, but I did get bucked off near the end. Chickened out on this one place where Mrs. Hoob once yelled "smartass!" for flying off of some dangerous rocks. It was one of her finest moments. Mine, too.

I wanted none of that today. In fact, I was terrified for the first mile or so. What a difference three years can make.

The crap with the gears was the last straw for that bike. Afterwards, I went to Denton Bicycle Center and bought a replacement for my 2003 Trek. My new bike is also a Trek, so bike shitheads will still look down on me like I'm riding a Walmart bike. I don't care.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:33 am 
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I want to ride again.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:17 pm 
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On Saturday I mounted the new bike and took a spin around the area. Back home in the driveway, I noticed some new gardening at the landlord's house and I pedaled over to take a good look at it.

I heard the landlady's voice out back and I thought I'd go see what she and her husband were doing. But I couldn't find them. I called out and immediately got two panicked voices and I was ordered to not come any closer.

They were in their hot tub that was hidden behind some small trees, and I'm guessing they were nude. And they sounded drunk. I excused myself and rode back home, laughing all the way.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:34 pm 
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:D

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:55 pm 
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And just like that, this thread suddenly becomes the "Watch Hoob fail at having a hot tub threesome with his landlord blog".

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 9:26 pm 
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Today I decided to take the bike to Johnson Branch for a ride. I had to take the old bike but the old gal held together.

The goal was to do the intermediate trail of about 7 miles and be done with it. However, I decided that I would ride the advanced trail and then walk over the 5 places that has flipped my old ass in the past. No idea why I thought this was a good idea. It's a 9 mile ride and took 1 hour, 40 minutes. When I'm in shape I can do it in an hour twenty.

Climbing was fairly fun and it went ok. I have a serious bone-on-bone situation going on with one of my knees but I didn't have any trouble with it during the ride. Didn't wreck, but I did nearly end up in a steep ravine. Had to grab hold of a tree to save my old ass.

My goal is to lose 30 pounds by the time school starts up in August. I'm on day 73 of no drinking and my diet is more chicken and fish and less beef. I am halfway to my goal but more exercising needs to happen. The Hoobstress calls me skinny but I look like I have a baby bump and I hate it.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 9:15 pm 
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Day two of vacation, day two to ride.

A new mountain bike trail has opened near me. It's extremely easy and flat and that's fine with me. Rode it for the first time yesterday and sweated like a mofo. Being out of shape will do that. Also got lost on the trail once, but even that was fun. Having this trail means I can throw the Trek in my SUV and ride a few miles after work. Riding an easy trail means I won't be in danger of repeating all of the dumb stuff that has happened to me at Johnson Branch.

Speaking of dumb stuff, today I went out to Johnson Branch and rode. It's 55 miles from Hoob Acres. It was easily worth the drive. I broke the strap on my Camelbak (water back pack) because it had disintegrated from years of old man sweat.

My buttass is sore now and will have to take a day off. But a kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:26 pm 
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Rode the new trail today, quickly found myself in higher gears than I normally use because the place is pretty easy to ride.

Noticed the directional arrows had changed, and I figured the trail guy had finished a new section. In reality, he was WORKING on a new section and wanted riders to ride on it to help get the trail broken in. It was at least a mile to the dead end, so riding that little piece was a 2 mile jaunt. Good thing I'm not a parent with small children or a beginner.

Rode the 2 mile trail 3 times for six miles, did the dead end thing twice for four miles, 10 miles total. Was on the bike for an hour, 15 minutes. Sweated a lot.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 5:28 pm 
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I pulled the bike out of storage last weekend, aired up the tires and hit trail in Colleyville. Got a little over 3 miles before the back tire blew out. Fat guys on 6 year old tires do not mix well. I walked a half mile to a bench area and waited 40 minutes for my riding buddy to ride back to his truck and come pick me up. A kickass time was had.

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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:54 pm 
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Oh no, that's awful. There is nothing I hate like walking it in after a malfunction of some sort.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:40 pm 
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Went a little bit earlier today, was on the bike the same amount of time as yesterday. The trailblazer guy is finishing up the second loop and it may be done the next time I go out there.

That's four rides in five days. The wise thing to do would be to rest a couple of days. I've ridden my old 2003 Trek every single time and not my new bike.

A kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:37 pm 
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Went to the new Bridgeport trail the past two days. I can do a leisurely lap in 30 minutes, hauling ass takes 20. Went three laps today, decided to do the last lap in a dead sprint because I didn't want to be out there at or near dark.

You see, I fear the copperhead snake and this is one of the worst years I've ever seen for those things. They seem to be plentiful at dusk.

Anyway, a kickass time was had.


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 Post subject: Re: Watch Hoob fail at getting into shape blog
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:44 pm 
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I see the forum has returned to normal.

Third day in a row to ride, noticed some chafing going on in my legs. I need to rest a couple of days.

Encountered a few wild hogs on the ride. Those things are in "aw hell no" category for me. I haven't heard of them bothering cyclists on any trails, but I don't want to be the first.

A kickass time was had.


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