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 Post subject: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:55 pm 
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I once went to an Allanis Morisette concert with another dude.

My friend always got two tickets to a concert he wanted to go to with the intention of getting a girl to go with him. Inevitably, I'd get a call the day of the concert because he either pussied out or various girls said no. I went to several concerts because of his lack of game, but this was the gayest.

Twist: one of these concerts was the Edge Christmas concert in 1996 with the Toadies headlining (in between a couple bands, a guitarist and chick singer came out to entertain us while the other bands changed over--they had played trees the night before, so we got a stripped down version of "Just a Girl" from No Doubt). I ran into a girl I knew from my first time through college (she loved Tears For Fears who was closing the show--really). I ended up getting regular beej's from her for the next six months until she cheated on me. She later married that guy. She called me the night before the wedding and wanted to hook up. I said no. That might be gay, too.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:11 am 
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I once petted a male dog.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:24 am 
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I petted a male dog and he got a boner.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:35 am 
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You'll have to show me your technique.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:21 am 
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cap wrote:
I petted a male dog and he got a boner.


:D

Dang it, the kids are wondering what is so funny.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:30 am 
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I posted on this interwebsite. :cry:

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:33 pm 
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I once dressed up as a old woman for a play my highschool theater class put on.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:24 pm 
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I just ate some nuts.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:07 pm 
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fruitdog wrote:
I once dressed up as a old woman for a play my highschool theater class put on.

You could've just said "I was in theater in high school."

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:38 pm 
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A couple months ago my wife got a groupon for a nearby spa. She talked me into getting a microdermabrasion facial with her. The experience was very relaxing. The room was bathed in soothing earth tones. One of the walls was exposed brick and the ceiling was adorned with metal tiles and exposed ductwork. New agey music droned oh so so softly in the background and the trickling sounds of a decorative waterfall lulled the senses to a state of serene tranquility. Laying flat on my back on a tempurpedic matress the technician gently went to work. Hot steamy air ensconced my pores as she first bathed my skin in citrus smelling ointments. She used this suction like wand thing that vacuumed away layers of dead skin. When she was done there was hot towel therapy and a finishing moisturizer. I tell ya, I never felt prettier or more rejuvenated. I positively glowed all weekend!


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:25 pm 
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I've done yoga, which is super gay. Some of the poses are kinda cool and I enjoy doing them. I like the balancing-type stuff like the Warrior poses.

Some poses aren't very good for men to do. For me, that's anything that makes me stretch out my legs, because I fucking can't do them.

It's a miracle that I haven't yelled "fuck!" during a forward fold.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:05 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
A couple months ago my wife got a groupon for a nearby spa. She talked me into getting a microdermabrasion facial with her. The experience was very relaxing. The room was bathed in soothing earth tones. One of the walls was exposed brick and the ceiling was adorned with metal tiles and exposed ductwork. New agey music droned oh so so softly in the background and the trickling sounds of a decorative waterfall lulled the senses to a state of serene tranquility. Laying flat on my back on a tempurpedic matress the technician gently went to work. Hot steamy air ensconced my pores as she first bathed my skin in citrus smelling ointments. She used this suction like wand thing that vacuumed away layers of dead skin. When she was done there was hot towel therapy and a finishing moisturizer. I tell ya, I never felt prettier or more rejuvenated. I positively glowed all weekend!


There's not doubt your Supa Ghey, but you make it sound very Intriguing.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:25 am 
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I agreed to meet up with some guys one time at Wizards that I had conversed with only online. We seemed to share a lot of the same interests so I figured worst case we drink a few beers and go about our merry way.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:57 am 
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Diello wrote:
fruitdog wrote:
I once dressed up as a old woman for a play my highschool theater class put on.

You could've just said "I was in theater in high school."

theater class. I don't do extracurricular theater.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 1:28 pm 
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Camping with a group of guys that I really don't know very well.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:05 pm 
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I once rubbed sun block on Meat Flap becuz he couldn't reach that area. I shook the gay outta me for at least 15 minutes and then proceeded to drink a case of beer

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:16 pm 
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You know you liked it.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:31 pm 
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So did you.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:36 pm 
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VBF wrote:
So did you.

:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:54 pm 
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Either all of the Rantfan posteurs are the same person or there's some kind of Bat signal that goes off when one of you posts.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:00 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:08 pm 
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Now where the fuck is Tiny Grenis and Virgin Elbows?


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:56 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
Either all of the Rantfan posteurs are the same person or there's some kind of Bat signal that goes off when one of you posts.


Its the White Elephant day making them think about posting on Gay internets..

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:36 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
I agreed to meet up with some guys one time at Wizards that I had conversed with only online. We seemed to share a lot of the same interests so I figured worst case we drink a few beers and go about our merry way.


Ditto, I was returning to Dallas from a project in California. I had been invited to meet a group of men at Pugsley's Library after posting about wearing Levi's with no shirt and drinking Jack Daniels as a teenager back in Tennessee.

I nervously entered Pugsley's and approached various groups of men; confused because there were no avatars visible that would identify the men for whom I was searching. Dejectedly, I was walking by a table when I heard a drunken man's voice call his future brother-in-law a "cocksack!" At that moment a feint smile appeared on my face as I realized I'd found what I'd been looking for!

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:38 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
RF for life! We stand united. That's how we roll.


:fist:


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:17 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
I agreed to meet up with some guys one time at Wizards that I had conversed with only online. We seemed to share a lot of the same interests so I figured worst case we drink a few beers and go about our merry way.

I learned about Fark at that meeting.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:38 pm 
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The wife's boss gave her some tickets for some shows the past couple of weeks that they were unable to attend. This past Saturday we went to some contemporary dance thing by a troupe out of Israel. It was in the arts district downtown by the AT&T pavilion. I forget which specific building. Neither of us wanted to go but we did. Anywho, it was a spectacle. Just over an hour with no intermission. I've noticed these artsy type shows are a big thing for the blue hairs. (we went to some opera/orchestra one last week) The olds loved that one but seemed none too happy with this one. The girl dancer's costumes were black panties with just a tank top over them. Supple folds of buttock flesh hung from the elastic and never did the dancers attempt to cover it. They were also barefoot. so hot. The lighting really accentuated the lithe musculature in their nimble, gazelle-like legs. The kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. They were all so graceful, so loose-limbed, and nimble--their moves so fluid. Speaking of fluids, i'm getting precummed just remembering these details. The dudes were scantily clad too and the counter cultures seated behind us appreciated it, lemme tell ya. The music was loud and industrial like a rave, and the show, while open to interpretation, seemed dark and kind of sinister. I liked it.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:58 pm 
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My wife roped us into a super duper gay wad situation this coming Saturday, and yes, my dill is all in a pickle. She told me about it the other day. She's already plucked down $250 and made the appointment. She says this is gonna be my Christmas (that's right, I keep Christ in xmas) present to her this year. Bah humbug, I says. Do you know what she's got us doing?!? We are scheduled to have a family portrait made at White Rock Lake with our 3 dogs by a professional dog photographer. Ain't that a dick in the butt? I've seen my fair share of schmucks up at the lake in the past getting engagement photos and the like with their women and I always look away, shamed for them. That schmuck will be me Saturday.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 3:36 pm 
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Ha-ha loser!


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 9:19 am 
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Are you guys gonna get any wallet-sized pics of your portrait? I'm asking for a friend.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 9:22 am 
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I guess dogs are your kids when you don't have kids, but I can't even imagine trying to keep my dogs still and looking ahead, while someone snaps pictures of us. Even worse if it's outside. Kids are hard enough.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:51 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
My wife roped us into a super duper gay wad situation this coming Saturday, and yes, my dill is all in a pickle. She told me about it the other day. She's already plucked down $250 and made the appointment. She says this is gonna be my Christmas (that's right, I keep Christ in xmas) present to her this year. Bah humbug, I says. Do you know what she's got us doing?!? We are scheduled to have a family portrait made at White Rock Lake with our 3 dogs by a professional dog photographer. Ain't that a dick in the butt? I've seen my fair share of schmucks up at the lake in the past getting engagement photos and the like with their women and I always look away, shamed for them. That schmuck will be me Saturday.

So how did it go?


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:15 pm 
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It was as bad as I expected, but it could have been so much worse. I've matured a lot through the years (cue Kenny Rogers) and know how to fight through these moments. Dogs are a good buffer, especially when one of them is on the aggressive side. They all defecated at some point as well. Really kept the photographer in check. Her name was Michah, not a bad dog name but I typically go with dog names that end in y or ie. She had a white umbrella thing fashioned to a baby stroller she rolled around and a fancy camera. To her credit, she seemed to instinctively know we weren't the kind of couple that would react well to forehead to forehead look in the eyes poses and didn't ask us to ham it up much. She did keep saying "smile, it can't be that bad" to me, which I deeply resented. I really dislike picture taking, mostly from the strike a pose aspect. I just can't make myself do it. The pics turned out OK, in that the wife is happy. Crazy expensive for that bs. In our 15 years of marriage this is our 7th picture together.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:30 pm 
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I'm glad you seem to have a solid marriage that can survive such silliness. I don't much like getting my picture taken either. I'm aware of how fat and ugly I am and don't want to be reminded of it every time I walk by a certain wall or end table. The wife and I did Glamour Shots once when we we first got engaged. Boy howdy, is that shit ever gay! There's a lady here at work who uses a glamour shot for her pic that shows up next to your name in Outlook email so apparently that place is still in business.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:00 pm 
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I think we need to see dem glamur shots.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:53 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 3:35 pm 
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Family pictures are for moms/wives. Even my kids hate that shit.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:33 pm 
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Friday night I watched A Very Merry Mix Up with my wife. Saturday night we watched Trading Christmas. It's like I don't even have testicles anymore. Do y'all ever watch Hallmark Christmas movies with your wives? They are pretty gosh dang gay, and I would never type this aloud, but they weren't the worst movies I've ever seen. Do you remember the red headed girl that had trouble with the horned instrument in Mr Holland's Opus? She's the lead in AVMMU, and she grew up to be pretty, real pretty. This was the weaker of the two movies but not because of the hilarity that ensued from the wacky mix up. I won't spoil it by saying anything else. The acting was better in Trading Christmas, but they had 2 heavyweight actors in this that played brothers. One of them was that car thief dude that Andy helped get his diploma, Red liked immediately, and that nasty ol warden gunned down in Shawshank. The other was the lead from a short lived network tv show called Ed from the early 2000s. There does seem to be a common formula with these movies. The women always have a spunky friend. A lot of times they have successful boyfriends they ditch for carpenter types. Har Dee Har Har at that. They also usually hate the guy they end up loving. Mods please feel free to move this to the movie thread if it should go there. Thank you for reading this.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:56 pm 
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I ran out of deodorant and had to use secret. I used it for a week.

Also, equally as gay.... I used to smoke. I ran out of my usual Marlboro Reds. My girlfriend at the time smoked Virginia Slim 120's menthol. They were about 3/16" around and a mile long. I smoked those for about as long as I used secret.

I have NOT however, used emojis on a forum or on text messages!


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:44 pm 
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The wife and do not watch any TV together. It's why we have two TVs. Cue Vivaldi.

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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:23 pm 
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We have 6 TVs in my house. For 4 people.


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 Post subject: Re: What is the gayest thing you've ever done?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 10:01 pm 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
We have 6 TVs in my house. For 4 people.


:babyarm:


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