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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2016 11:01 am 
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So, they're gettin' hitched on New Year's Eve.

nascarcasm ‏@nascarcasm 4m4 minutes ago

Congrats to @Amy_Reimann & @DaleJr on their wedding day! A healthy #NASCAR marriage is simple - Dale turns left, but Amy's always right.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:27 pm 
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Well hell. Carl Edwards is my favorite driver. And he is retiring at the young age of 37. The reason hasn't been publicized, but some are speculating that the horrible grind of the season is a problem.

June Bug Tweeted this:

Dale Earnhardt Jr. ‏@DaleJr 5h5 hours ago

Interesting about Edwards. I can see him being lured back into the right situation. Although drivers retiring "early" doesn't surprise me.

------------------------------------

In minor news, minor league racer John Wes Townley is also retiring. He's 27.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:34 am 
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Rico Abreu lost his ride in the truck series because of sponsorship issues. He is the 4 foot 4 guy who has done well in some of the other series. This sucks.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:55 am 
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Alan Cavanna Verified account
‏@CopaCavanna

Take this for what it's worth: MO political commentator says Carl Edwards will run for Senate in '18 (last 'graph)

-----------------------------

MO stands for Missouri, which is where Carl is from.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:19 pm 
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I'm interested in Hoob's take on the new NASCAR rule that says "fix your car in the pit in 5 minutes or forget it".

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:49 pm 
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My first thought was "Gee, why are we trying to trick shit up? Again?"

I wonder what caused this. I read the statements about safety and it reminded me of an incident during the year:

There was a case this year where somebody came on the track after a wreck and a part broke, causing him to hit the wall at high speed. Seems like it was Kyle Busch, but it might have been someone else.

I have more of a problem with crippled cars coming back out and shedding parts on the track. I would rather they fix that.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:09 pm 
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I guess the safety aspect deals with the fact that cars coming out of the garage are usually running way off of the pace. I think this rule creates more of the scenario you mention: rush jobs and sending the car back out half ass. I've always wondered if there's really that big of a difference in a DNF and finishing 50 laps down.

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:08 pm 
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I forgot to mention that Danica's team is suing their former sponsor for breach of contract. She had signed a $15 million per year deal with Nature's Bakery. I thought at the time that they can't afford to do that, can they?

They can't afford it, and her team is suing their pants off as a result.

It won't be long before we see her as a back marker, struggling in an unsponsored car.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:25 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
I forgot to mention that Danica's team is suing their former sponsor for breach of contract. She had signed a $15 million per year deal with Nature's Bakery. I thought at the time that they can't afford to do that, can they?

They can't afford it, and her team is suing their pants off as a result.

It won't be long before we see her as a back marker, struggling in an unsponsored car.


Maybe they can afford it if she would win something... ANYTHING... every once in a while.

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:39 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Former driver Mike Wallace got the crap beat out of him after a Rascal Flatts concert this weekend. He was knocked out cold but they kept kicking him in the head.

I didn't like this guy at all when he drove and fuck him for going to a Rascal Flatts concert, but not even he deserved that.

I've been to a half dozen country concerts in my life, and the amount of young rednecks looking to fight someone is mind-boggling. The worst one of all was a Bellamy Brothers concert, which doesn't make any sense. I've never been to a bro-country gig, but I bet it is way worse.


The trial ended up in a mistrial several months ago because of a screwup. Today, Wallace and his family decided to drop the charges.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:25 pm 
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The season-opening clash at Daytona was today. Hamlin dominated, but stupidly blocked Crashalotski at the end, wrecked, and this caused Logano to win. But that's not what got my attention.

It was the large-titted, smiling black nookie girl in victory lane waiting to hand Joey a towel with the Monster logo on it to dry off with. He declined. That dumbass. I would have thrown her back for a big smooch.

Hoob.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:54 pm 
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The 2017 Monster season is under way. Kurt Busch, sponsored by Monster, won. Dick Hicks tweeted a "Hell yeah!" and was immediately told by some guy that it was rigged. Ain't no way that ending was rigged. I was hoping Kyle Larson would win and he nearly did.

This was the biggest wreckfest I have ever laid eyes on. Jamie McMurray caused two of 'em. Mark Martin called the race the Ambulance 500. He's right, forum.

Hoob.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:08 am 
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I was just glad that turd Joey Logano didn't win.

35 out of 40 wrecked and only 25 finished. I had to take my kid to a birthday party and didn't get home until there were 75 laps to go. I stayed away from this race as long as I could.

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:35 pm 
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About 15 years ago, there was a commercial for the IRL race at Texas. It was really odd, and the announcer ended the commercial by yelling that you can bring your cooler inside, and then he broke it over his head.

I just saw a commercial for NASCAR at TMS by Knoxie, and the bit was crazy and obviously was done by the same people. Knoxie mentioned a cooler, but he didn't break it over his head.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:58 pm 
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Lots of talk about how bad the start of the season is. Today at Atlanta, Harvick dominated the shit out of the race, but got a speeding penalty on pit road and lost. Krashalotski passed Larson with a handful of laps left and won. Even with this unexpected ending, this race was just damned awful.

A lot of things have been implemented in the past 10 years that haven't bothered me in the least. Pit road speed limits. Lucky dog rule. I can even live with Overtime, also known as the give Junior a chance to win rule.

But this segments thing blows goats. Let's put a few figure 8 tracks in the mix while we are at it. Or make them drive part of the race in reverse. What a mess.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:39 am 
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speeding penalty in a race? no wonder ratings are down.

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:15 pm 
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Today's race at Las Vegas was really boring and I dozed off on the couch. I woke up and noticed it was still boring, so I went to wash the car. Came home and learned there was a fight in the pits afterward.

Kyle Busch went after Joey Logano but was intercepted by Joey's pit crew and ended up scuffling with them. Kyle ended up with a cut forehead. Not sure who I'm for on this one.

Martin Truex won the race and while being interviewed in Victory Lane, asked who won the fight.

Some people call Joey "sliced bread." The great Nascarcasm had this tweet:

HEADLINE: "SLICED BREAD VS. SLICED HEAD."


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:23 am 
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It looks like Kyle did connect with a right before being rassled down. I would link the video but I'm old and lazy.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:00 pm 
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Ryan Newman won at Phoenix on a pit stop gamble. I didn't want him to win, but after giving it some thought, I was ok with it. One of the things I love about NASCAR is sometimes people can gamble with strategy and steal a win. And that happened today.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 12:02 pm 
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I just noticed that Pete Hamilton died Tuesday at the age of 74. Pete drove a Petty Enterprises team car in the late 60s, early 70s and won Daytona in 1970. Young Hoob loved the guy.

Those cars are noted for their wild-ass wings they had. They were awesome. NASCAR had to make rule changes as a result of them.

Pete pictured with his 1970 Superbird.

I didn't know until today that Pete was a dirty yankee, from Massachusetts.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:37 am 
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Holy crap that's Strip Weathers!!!

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 12:07 pm 
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Martinsville is today. It's a short track, people get pissed off at each other, should be awesome.

Stay away from this race.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:41 pm 
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The highlight of Martinsville was Ricky Stenhouse pushing Kyle Busch out of the way to avoid going a lap down before the end of the first segment. I laughed like a hyena when it happened, because it caused Kyle to lose the lead and someone else won that segment. Gentleman Kyle had this to say over the radio:

Hahahahah, fucking 17. What a fucking fucker. All that work for absolutely fucking nothing. Nothing!


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:00 pm 
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Texas is this weekend. Stay away from the intersection of 114 and I-35W.

And stay away from this race.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:39 am 
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:babyarm: I can't go turkey hunting because of this traffic

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:43 pm 
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Joonyer has decided to retire after this season. Unless something odd happens, he will finish his career with 26 wins, 4 concussions, and no championships.

Oh good grief, DW will break down in tears on the air this weekend. I think I will stay away from that race.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2017 5:31 pm 
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Talladega was today. When it was over I said out loud, "Wow, that was a really good race."

Ricky Stenhouse won his first race in an exciting finish. He is Danica's boyfriend.

Of course, the first words out of my mouth after the checker flag flew was, "victory sex."


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2017 4:20 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Talladega was today. When it was over I said out loud, "Wow, that was a really good race."

Ricky Stenhouse won his first race in an exciting finish. He is Danica's boyfriend.

Of course, the first words out of my mouth after the checker flag flew was, "victory sex."


He already has tied her win in her professional career.

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 2:39 pm 
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The made me scratch my head and wonder what the hell is a-going on here:

Nature's Bakery has agreed to sponsor Danica Patrick for four races sometime in the future, and they will sponsor her teammate Clint Boyer for four races. In return, the racing team is dropping their lawsuit against the company.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 2:49 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
The made me scratch my head and wonder what the hell is a-going on here:

Nature's Bakery has agreed to sponsor Danica Patrick for four races sometime in the future, and they will sponsor her teammate Clint Boyer for four races. In return, the racing team is dropping their lawsuit against the company.

she will continue producing the yeast for the bakery

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:41 pm 
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Dover was today. For years I hated this race, but lately it was been pretty good. Martin Truex commented that it is interesting to watch because the place is so damned difficult to drive.

Kyle Larson dominated but got beat by Jimmie Johnson on a restart at the very end. There was a lot of oil dry left on the track, and conspiracy theorists are saying that Kyle got into that and it caused him to spin his tires when the green flag flew. Me? I didn't like the end results, but I don't know. Jimmie tied Cale Yarborough at 81 career wins.

I do know that once again, somebody climbed up on the fence during the race. So awesome. If they mentioned it on TV, I missed it.

Image


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:55 pm 
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Pocono was today and I enjoyed the ending. Major bullet points:

1. Bubba Wallace made his cup debut for Richard Petty Motorsports. This got some play in the mainstream because Bubba's black. Wasn't Petty the one that had a racist opinion several years ago about blacks? There was a guy who used to call the Two Minute Drill mocking him after it happened. I think Bubba finished 26th or somesuch. I want this guy to win so badly.

2. Joonyer tore his car up by shifting it into the wrong gear. My, my. His fans will probably blame the crew chief.

3. Jimmie Johnson had brake failure at 200 mph and hit the wall really hard. He had to sit on the pavement for a minute to catch his breath.

4. Kyle Doosch made an ass of himself trying to block Ryan Blaney. I hate that sonofabitch.

5. Blaney won the race. It was his first win, and it was the first win for the Wood Brothers since 2011. I loved it.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 6:36 pm 
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The first Michigan race was today. NASCAR called a phony debris caution with 10 laps to go that bunched up the field. The result of that was thousands of dollars of destroyed cars and it didn't make the race any better.

Tony Stewart was the owner of some of the wrecked cars, and he had this Tweet:

It's a shame that so many drivers and teams day was ruined by the results of another "debris" caution towards the end of the race today.

Geez, I hate having to agree with that jackass, but he is right.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:54 pm 
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Indianapolis is this weekend. Last year they had 50,000 there, which means 185,000 empty seats. I am hearing that ticket sales are worse this year.

Be like Hoob, avoid that place
Find something else to do,
Stay away from this race.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:11 pm 
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Looks like Joonyer has found work with NBC.

Smart move by them. Too bad Fox couldn't hire him to replace DW.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:54 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Looks like Joonyer has found work with NBC.

Smart move by them. Too bad Fox couldn't hire him to replace DW.

Will NBC invest in an English teach for him?

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:36 am 
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:potkettle:

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:05 am 
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:dad:

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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 10:11 pm 
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Target has entered the Hoob Hall of Shame.

They are leaving NASCAR to concentrate on soccer. The unfortunate driver is Kyle Larson, who is second in the standings and is considered part of NASCAR's youth movement and is very popular. I like Larson and I hate this. Fuck Target.

They dropped out of Indycar last year.

Dang it


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 7:00 am 
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Kasey Kahne will have to go three-wide with another team next year. He is out at Hendrick Motorsports after winning six races in six years. Hard to believe he is 37.

Hendrick has been the dominant team for years, but they have always had one car that was the "other car" that wasn't as good as the others. Kahne was in the other car.

Great Clips and Farmers Insurance left the team, and that led to this happening.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:03 pm 
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Man, oh man.

Kevin Harvick blames Jooooonyer for stunting NASCAR's growth.

Somebody is getting their pants booed off this weekend during driver introductions.


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 Post subject: Re: If you are in need of sleep, here's a NASCAR thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 4:06 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Man, oh man.

Kevin Harvick blames Jooooonyer for stunting NASCAR's growth.

Somebody is getting their pants booed off this weekend during driver introductions.


I love how "it's a little confusing" to them. They know joonyer's popularity is because of his asshole diddy who didn't have enough sense to stay off the wall.

One of my favorite digs to NASCAR fanatics is to tell them I'm a Jeff Gordon fan. When they ask why Gordon and not Dale I tell them it's because Gordon's a better driver. At least he can hit a wall and live! HA!

They don't like me much after that. :)

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