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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:53 am 
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In light of Hurricane Isaac about to make landfall, has Katrina Fruit contacted Isaac Fruit? What about Wood Draggin' Ted, Popcorn Eatin' Cle or the Old Prospector warning about Snakes?

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:23 pm 
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Wood draggin Ted would make an appearance but registration is locked.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 2:43 am 
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Today was rough or I guess it was yesterday. I got into Amarillo around 8 Monday and after checking in at the ole HI Express I didn't want to drive so I just sauntered over to Buffalo Wild Wings. Most all BWW rank pretty high on the suckometer scale and this one was no different. I got 12 boneless, blaze level which is the highest, and a couple of Shiners. Place was packed. They loves them some Cowboys out there. Suckers. The chicken was chewy but runny nose and watery eyes hot. Some Bud Light hootch in a stretch dress and stripper heels put some mardis gras like beads around my neck as I ate. I wasn't sure if she was bright enough for double entendre flirting when, in her smoker's voice she said, "hot stuff, huh", but for a second my heart was a flutter. She had a visible thong line. Hubba hubba. By this point my mouf was basted in hot wing sauce and I wondered if I were to tongue punch her fartbox if it would have that alleged cough drop hummer effect type reaction. Speaking of fartboxes, mines was already heating up.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:19 am 
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Around 4 I woke up, feeling kinda clammy, and super thirsty. Those seasonings must be some kinda salty. I was also in a room with a frustrating thermostat and it wouldn't stay cool. I peed, girl style in the dark, and flatulated long and loud, a dry popcorn fart that echoed deep into the bowl. My stomach gurgled, an ominous precursor for things to come, or perhaps just the sounds of the Captain at work, smelting my feces with the brulee torch of wing dingers I'd equipped him with. Before pulling my panties back up I caught a whiff of smell like musky amonia, mayhaps a tad citrusey. I returned to sleep. Room coffee is shit, so when I woke up I went down and helped myself to less shitty breakfast area coffee. I wouldn't even make it back to the room. 1st wave hit in the bathroom by the elevators. It was chilling in its voracity and explosiveness. The esteemed artist, Potbowl Picasso, really did a number on this one, speckling the undercarriage of the lid and all around the bowl in abstract shit splatters.


Last edited by Trained Goucho on Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:24 am 
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I'm sleepy now. In conclusion, There were 4 other poops in random places. They are as follows: room, Jesus Christ is Lord truck stop, Jason's Deli (spinach wrap didn't stand a chance), and a Lowe's. The end.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:47 am 
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I just tok a steamer in Tel Aviv. I'm here for work.

Im going to the dead sea today. I may launch a Mud Torpedo while I'm floating around in the salt water.

I peed yesterday in Ceasarea, which was King Harrods city back before Jesus.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 8:10 am 
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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:09 am 
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don keyballs wrote:
I just tok a steamer in Tel Aviv. I'm here for work.

Im going to the dead sea today. I may launch a Mud Torpedo while I'm floating around in the salt water.

I peed yesterday in Ceasarea, which was King Harrods city back before Jesus.


Check out Gaza Strip. I think it's like the strip in Las Vegas. All I heard was that the city is lit up at night and the town is booming.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:15 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
don keyballs wrote:
I just tok a steamer in Tel Aviv. I'm here for work.

Im going to the dead sea today. I may launch a Mud Torpedo while I'm floating around in the salt water.

I peed yesterday in Ceasarea, which was King Harrods city back before Jesus.


Check out Gaza Strip. I think it's like the strip in Las Vegas. All I heard was that the city is lit up at night and the town is booming.


Anderson Cooper thinks it's faaaaaaaabulous!

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:04 pm 
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A bucket in my garage, Meatflap's ranch


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:16 pm 
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There used to be a cardboard box wedged under a pedestal sink at my grandparent's home back in the day. Even though their house had modern plumbing the man they called pee paw shunned the idea of flushing TP after wiping his sizable anus, choosing the box for dosposal instead. Those dirty shit stained wads of paper would be lying there in plain sight, not even given the common courtesy of mummy wrapping it like women do to their blood curdled tampons in an effort to hide the disgust. What a gross bastard he must have been to live with. Anyway, I did not #2 today at the 7-11 where I got gas, just #1, but as I was standing there peeing I noticed a cardboard box on the floor in lieu of a trash can with somebody's dirty wadded up shit paper just lying there on the top. It was like a letter from the grave. A letter from pee paw.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 9:42 am 
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I enjoy the "Family Bathroom" at Walmart or Target or even the occasional Dr.'s office....it puts a sense of safety in my mind when I go in there. I think to myself, this is a Family Bathroom, nothing but angelic things happen in here. And then I drop it like it's hot in there and totally destroy it.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:05 pm 
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I went to go drop off the Chinese food I ate at lunch and the lone stall in building had no TP in it. I had to go to the kitchen and rip off a few pieces of paper towel. Surprisingly, the paper towel was softer than I expected.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:31 pm 
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You are in luck good Frynds, there's an app for this.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/places- ... 26033?mt=8

:D By Mike Judge

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:53 am 
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MFD


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 7:09 pm 
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Oh, wow. I wonder if she ever posts in poop threads.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Nissan dealer off 635


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:33 pm 
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Getting a new Altima?

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:16 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Nissan dealer off 635


Was it the shape of a Trophy? That's where I got the wife's Murano btw.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:39 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Tit Whistle wrote:
Nissan dealer off 635


Was it the shape of a Trophy? That's where I got the wife's Murano btw.

:bigtime:
My wife wanted a Versa. She wanted a good mpg car because of her commute. Fortunately, I was able to talk her out of a Prius.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 4:18 pm 
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The price on the Versa was probably much better than the Prius and the gas mileage difference is negligible.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 5:37 pm 
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Super Target. I didn't take a dump there but I saw the most amazing pair of tits ever. After it was evident I was staring I made small talk. I still got it.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:19 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Super Target. I didn't take a dump there but I saw the most amazing pair of tits ever. After it was evident I was staring I made small talk. I still got it.

:soppy: And you got an incredibly cute and sweet pair of kids, Ted.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:12 pm 
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Well thanks bra. Must be the white side of me.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:53 pm 
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Computer learning center, Irving Texas. The Devil's seasaw was a huge player in this terlit.
Fat bitches bouncin folks off the porcelain bull.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:35 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Nissan dealer off 635

What you are about to read is not a poop story. I am at the Honda dealership at this very moment where my car is getting an inspection and an oil change and I gotta say, if you have to poop you could go in far worse places than a dealership. I just went #1 after enjoying a seasonal pumpkin spice flavored k cup. Yes, their waiting room has a Keurig. Anywho, after pivoting from the urinal I noticed their luxurious stalls were equipped with state of the art toilets with the latest flushing technology, floor to ceiling stone walls for ultimate privacy, tasteful art prints, and a 7' wood door with shutter like louvers for a cabana vibe. Would definitely poop here.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Nissan dealer off 635

I had to go back to talk to these folks a couple weeks ago, and while there I fouled their men's room. It's a good spot.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:22 pm 
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Last week I was in the Baltimore area for factory training on some lines I sell. Most of the people in my group flew out on Thursday night except for me and one other dude. We flew out on Friday morning. Having a free night we decided to drive over to Washington DC and scope the place out as neither of us had ever been there. On the way we stopped at a recommended place and ate some crab cakes. They were delicious btw. Very rich and decadent. Just before entering DC I saw some housing projects right off the freeway with gobs of Wire looking side of life. Whoa. Anydangwho, I saw all the cool stuff, like obama's house where there were a bunch of kooks protesting and stuff, the Loncoln memorial, the Smithsonian, the Capitol, the Dwight D Eisenhower building, and the Washington monument. Walking to the White House I got the gurgle belly rumbles from the Captain. I did partake of a bunch of delicious red meat during the week so he had been on high alert at times. I ended up emptying my bowels in the public restroom at the entrance to the Washington monument. There was a poop moaner in the stall next to me that also brought his bicycle in the stall with him. Overall, it was a disappointing poop but what a locale. Would poop here again. :patriot:


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 1:51 pm 
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:fist: poop times.

Curious for more info on Loncoln memorial..

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:02 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
There was a poop moaner in the stall next to me


I was in a restroom in the convention center in Orlando last week and there was a hardworking grunt shitter in the stall while I was at a urinal. It was bad enough that it was kinda uncomfortable.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:31 am 
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Yesterday, I had a fine lunch at Pei Wei that had immediate effects on my bowel system. A post-lunch shopping excursion led me to pollute the air of Kirkland's, World Market, and Lowe's with my noxious Kung Pao gas--and yes, they were audible, but I made sure to look both ways before farting. I was ready to evacuate at Lowe's, but previous experience at home improvement stores learned me that you have a good chance at discovering a Contractor Floater, so I clenched up and held it off. I finally couldn't stand it anymore when we reached the Wylie SuperTarget. I left the wife to her shopping and head to the front of the store to "sit and think". They had a unisex family restroom, but I forgoed that for the room marked "Men", or "Cabelleros" for our Spanish-speaking friends. Target can have some nasty bathrooms but the management at my local store goes the extra mile to ensure your plumbing cleanse is both sanitary and comfortable. I chose the smaller stall rather than the handicapped one, because while Wylie may seem upscale to you, it is not cripple-free. It was a fine choice this was a roomy space with plenty of area for stretching out both arms and legs. The stall was clean with plenty of bum wipe and very little pubic hair on the floor. There was no graffiti to read on the walls. After a quick release and loud, flappy expulsion of gas, I was already finished, but loitered a bit to enjoy the extra effort put forth by the cleaning staff and designers of this particular facility. I cleaned up, washed my hands, and took one last look around. I'd be here again someday, I thought. As I left, another gent was entering. "It's really nice," I told him. "I think you'll enjoy it quite much." He looked at me funny, but I bet in due time he understood.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:58 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Yesterday, I had a fine lunch at Pei Wei that had immediate effects on my bowel system. A post-lunch shopping excursion led me to pollute the air of Kirkland's, World Market, and Lowe's with my noxious Kung Pao gas--and yes, they were audible, but I made sure to look both ways before farting. I was ready to evacuate at Lowe's, but previous experience at home improvement stores learned me that you have a good chance at discovering a Contractor Floater, so I clenched up and held it off. I finally couldn't stand it anymore when we reached the Wylie SuperTarget. I left the wife to her shopping and head to the front of the store to "sit and think". They had a unisex family restroom, but I forgoed that for the room marked "Men", or "Cabelleros" for our Spanish-speaking friends. Target can have some nasty bathrooms but the management at my local store goes the extra mile to ensure your plumbing cleanse is both sanitary and comfortable. I chose the smaller stall rather than the handicapped one, because while Wylie may seem upscale to you, it is not cripple-free. It was a fine choice this was a roomy space with plenty of area for stretching out both arms and legs. The stall was clean with plenty of bum wipe and very little pubic hair on the floor. There was no graffiti to read on the walls. After a quick release and loud, flappy expulsion of gas, I was already finished, but loitered a bit to enjoy the extra effort put forth by the cleaning staff and designers of this particular facility. I cleaned up, washed my hands, and took one last look around. I'd be here again someday, I thought. As I left, another gent was entering. "It's really nice," I told him. "I think you'll enjoy it quite much." He looked at me funny, but I bet in due time he understood.


Pubic hair?

:D


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:04 am 
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I'm in the minority, but I prefer the small, non-handicapped stalls to the spacious handicapped stalls. 1) They're cozier and b) They don't get used as much.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:34 am 
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One of the many things that has infuriated this old man over the years is rolling Ich Jr into a public restroom and having to wait on the only handicap stall, only to watch it being vacated by some able bodied fat Fuck who thinks the extra leg room is a luxury item! :mad:

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Last edited by Ichabod on Tue Mar 10, 2015 9:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:38 am 
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Boy, that would be awkward. I'd probably try to act like a plumber or mgmt and give you a "we had a complaint about this stall, you're all good now" before shuffling out.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:02 pm 
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I was on vacation in New York last week and me and the wife walked around 50 miles over the course of 6 days. Now one of the things all of the snotty NYC trip planning experts will tell you is to do your business every time you buy food in a restaurant or go to an attraction or a park because public shitters are few and far between in the Big Apple. They emphasize repeatedly that hotel lobbies and lounges are a big no-no because the employees will run you off and accuse you of a being a vagrant if you're not staying there or partaking in one of their bars or restaurants. Horsefeathers. Multiple times on our many long walks, we ducked into luxurious hotel lobbies and enjoyed cool air (it was damn near tropical a few days) and comfortable couches. Never once were we sneered at or even noticed. One particular afternoon we went into the Waldorf Astoria to admire their lobby amenities. I mean, if King Jaffe Joffer stayed there, it has to be nice. It didn't disappoint. While we were lounging in some really soft wing back chairs near the check in desk, the urge struck and I quickly went on a somewhat panicked search for the head. I'm proud to say that I fouled their marble tiled men's room in the worst of ways. I texted my wife from the throne to let her know how nice it was. I worried when I briskly walked in that there was what appeared to be an attendant that might need to be tipped, but he was gone when I emerged. It was definitely an enjoyable dump since the bathroom featured full-sized oblong bowls. Our hotel room had the tiny, kid sized round shitters and I never could conjure up a real satisfying purge in there.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:43 pm 
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Call it Captain's intuition I guess, but I got that pulsating turtle head feeling halfway thru lunch just now that led me to the knowledge that with minimal effort and a quick sphinctal push I could have cannon squirted a bm right straight into the black porcelain bowl of NuNu's Mediterranean Cafe & Market for instant relief. I just had lunch here, and contrary to the glowing reviews of OKC yelpers, it was a very disappointing meal. They used grocery store pita for their dips and gyros for goodness sakes. That's just lazy. Fucking okie tastebuds, you can't trust em, I tell ya. Anydanghoo, when I got to the bathroom the toilet was already clogged up to all damn crap hell with somebody else's unflushed bm. The stools were yellow orange in color and fluffy looking. Surrounded in chickish amounts of wadded up tp, this load would be a struggle for even the most industrial of flapper valves, much less some tier 4 greek strip mall cafe. I read and followed the flushing instructions taped to the tank but it was a no go and the level only rose perilously higher. No way was I going to squat over that filth. I peed in the sink and left. Animals. There was a Holiday Inn, a Four Points, and a Merriot, behind the restaurant. I chose the HI, for no reason in particular, and relieved myself. Confronted with those choices, which hotel would you have chosen?


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:05 pm 
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When faced with such a situation as you've described, how long can you typically hold off your BM? There have been times when I've delayed it into the next day. I know it's not healthy, but it's my body. Holding off diarrhea is much more difficult. I can maybe scramble for a few minutes, but I need to find a release zone fast. Twice in my life, I've held off the diarrhea but ended up cumming in my pants. Yes, I milked my own prostate with diarrhea to achieve orgasm. It's kinda fun, but kinda gross too. Lots of explaining to do if someone notices you shaking in the corner. You should try it. I've never been to a Four Points, so I would've chosen there.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:28 pm 
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I can't always control it, but today I just knew I could. You really just have to know and listen to your butthole. For me, that seems to be the command center that tells my brain it's go time. With sickness or other catalysts there is sometimes no turning back. I've pinpointed today's root cause to nervous anxiety in my belly stemming from an insecure inner voice that keeps screaming "you're a fraud". Does your inner voice say mean things to you? I can usually reason with the captain in these instances and buy myself some time.

What an interesting way to cum! I have never climaxed in that fashion nor known it was possible. Is it an erectionless process?


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 4:05 pm 
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My inner voice is only mean when he drinks. I call him Kenny.

Both of those poop-aided ejaculations were limp-dick affairs. The first was when I was 18 and off at college for the first week. I was at some orientation and nervous as all get-out about the whole ordeal. It was enough to stir something deep and while trying to keep my bowels satiated and comfortable until I could get up to go release, those bastards pushed back the other way. I tried to switch and hold off the on-rush at the front door, but no such luck. I clenched up, tried to hold still best I could, and let fly. It felt good. I was sitting next to a pretty cute girl, but was too mortified to talk to her at that point. I wonder if she knew the guy beside her just shot a load in his pants. I bet she still doesn't know. I also bet somey's gonna read these posts to his wife tonight.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:28 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:56 pm
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Location: dirty south
Tit Whistle wrote:
I also bet somey's gonna read these posts to his wife tonight.


I can't even.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 7:25 pm 
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Forum Illuminati
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Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:53 pm
Posts: 17382
Location: moving mountains
When did Tit turn into DK?

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