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 Post subject: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:49 am 
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Laredo Intl. Airport yesterday at 5:45.

Airports are the last place you want to drop trou but the combination of Mexican food and beer created the perfect storm inside my belly. It was surprisingly clean. I have discovered the older I get, they less I give a shit about where I take a shit. I'm old now and the doodoo pains pushing on my sfinct ain't worth it. I would rather go deuces wild and not be writhing around pain the rest of the day. Plus it makes more room for beer.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:47 am 
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:babyarm: I used to meticulously plan my day around number 2s but after deucing in the shitty public restroom in the halfway shack on Tennison Glen and a portajohn on Keeton #14 I give zero fucks where I go. The only thing I still don't care for is when other people are going in the stall next to me. I rather shit in a hot stinky portapotty then listen to some other dude do that 3 feet from me.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:58 am 
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Holding poops = stupid.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:47 am 
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I've come around on this a little bit. I used to be in the "shit at home" crowd but I've changed.

I still won't do it in a uni restroom at work that is shared by women.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:56 am 
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I have been forced to deuce a few times away from home, but only when they were extreme emergencies. Then when I finally get home I soak my ass in bleach for half an hour to get all of the herpes dead.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 1:19 pm 
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A good, gutteral fart should clear the bowl of any herpes after you sit down. No one likes pooping in public, but it's not something we should fear.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 4:13 pm 
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Some chick just died from the West Nile Virus. I bet she used a public toilet recently.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 4:42 pm 
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No. A mosquito bit her.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:15 pm 
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Sunday /29 July 12/11:07 am
World Market/4701 W Freeway ste. 401/Fort Worth, TX


The breakfast relleno stood out to me on the menu today at Cafe Brazil. Never had it before. Relleno pepper stuffed with scrambled eggs, a special cream sauce, and housemade chorizo. It was paired with fried sweet potatoes. I like stuffed pepper type dishes. Ironically, the relleno pepper, when hollowed out, kinda resembles the form of a calla lily. Calla lilies are sometimes given at funerals, and what died this day with that stuffed pepper flower was my lactose intolerance, my morning meal, and possibly my streak of being Campylobacter-free.

After breakfast the wife asked if I'd go with her to World Market. She has some kind of leadership retreat scheduled for this coming week and true to corporate form, somebody had to gay it up with a theme. She had to pick up snacks from Australia as it's a cruise ship theme and her group is stopping off in the land down under. As she perused the sucky treats from other lands section, I made a bee line to the head. Craftsy type or home decor themed stores are wonderful places to defecate. This World Market was no exception. The floors were immaculate and the seat was dry. The temperature was ideal, and there was a fabulous aroma of vanilla emitting from those scented stick things that had been arranged nicely on a vanity table adorning the corner of the restroom. A real lady's touch. Perhaps that's what brought out the gentleman in the captain. Three rapid fire triggers of diarrheal water from the trusty sphincter and I was a new man. Good wipe too. Would poop here again.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Buffalo Creek club house. Instead of metal stalls they had private rooms with full length doors. The guy before me was kind enough to leave a copy of Avid Golfer for me.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 9:29 pm 
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Fry's Electronics, Plano. Fry's is kinda icky to begin with and it wasn't a good sign when three employees were teaming up to unclog Stall #1, but I came away unscathed, disease-free, and about a pound lighter.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 9:54 pm 
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When they asked to see your receipt you should have took out a couple of squares of used tp.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:59 am 
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No one shat anywhere cool this weekend? I was looking forward to reading some good stories.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am 
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This thread will pick up on National Shit Somewhere Cool Day.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:56 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
No one shat anywhere cool this weekend? I was looking forward to reading some good stories.


Razoos, but it was only enough to keep from Sharting. :dunno:

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:33 pm 
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I just came back from vacation in Florida and, like always, I refrained from shitting prior to departure. I always find that this results in a glorious return home to my personal shitter. I had some rather epic car farts whilst driving the final leg of our journey home through Dallas. Unfortunately, this played some bad havoc on my innards and I've had 3 extremely loose dumps in the last few hours and my stomach is in knots. That said, it still beats one last uncomfortable evac on the undersized bowl in our condo or in a disease infested john in a Cracker Barrel in Louisiana.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 10:17 am 
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I had to fly to San Francisco yesterday morning on American Airlines to fix the (private) airplane that I take care of. All the way there I could feel gut pressure and the large poop worm slithering around in my guts. I held it in, due to the disgusting thought of laying cable in an airplane lavatory. When I finally got to the airport, I was headed to the can to drop my cargo. Right when I got to the bathroom door, my ride called and told me that they were waiting outside. I didn't want to miss the opportunity for an instant ride, so i keagled the turd back up in the pipe. and headed to the pickup area.

When we got to the airplane that I was going there to fix, we were a good 300 yards from the nearest building. Too far to poop waddle without possibly putting the tell tale lump in the back of my pants. People were waiting for me, so I hurried and fixed what was broken, then climbed on board to bring the thing back to Dallas. About the time were were passing from California into Utah, at 47,000 feet, I went to the back lavatory and let rip. The force of that monster shooting out of my fart box was so hard, I thought I may have dented the fuselage or thrown us into a severe aft center of gravity and stalled the airplane. Luckily, none of that happened, and when we arrived back in Dallas, I had the pleasure of dumping that corn packed log into our lav cart and then shot it into Bachman Lake via the Dallas sewer system.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 10:47 am 
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Schoolhouse Rock shoulda come up with some sort of educational jingle documenting poops on a plane and the extraction process upon landing. It could have tied in nicely with how a bill becomes a law and and that one about hankerin for a block of cheese.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:06 am 
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Another good one would be a song about the dangers of holding your poops in too long. Or what to do if you find blood in your stool. They really didn't come close to most interesting topics during Science Rock.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 2:42 pm 
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I took a dump at the house the other day that had a weird/gross/kind of cool sound. It was like my butt hole had a hinge on it like a snake does with its jaw and it just opened up for chewed up food to fall out. It was almost like the sound you make when shuffling cards but not really.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:12 pm 
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Sometimes my farts sound like questions.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:40 pm 
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Diello wrote:
Sometimes my farts sound like questions.


:babyarm:

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:40 pm 
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I think i'd rather shit in a porta potty before shitting in a warehouse bathroom again. :puke:

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 3:45 pm 
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Staybridge Suites, West Houston Energy Corridoor - Was ready to evacuate in a McDogmeat in Fairfield but the number of flies in the dining area scared me on the potential nastiness of the head. The toilet in meh suite was clean and nice.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 11:32 pm 
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For whatever reason, I'm just as likely to urinate in the sink as I am the toilet in hotels. It's important to have the faucet running, however, or it'd be kind of uncouth.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 6:07 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
For whatever reason, I'm just as likely to urinate in the sink as I am the toilet in hotels. It's important to have the faucet running, however, or it'd be kind of uncouth.


I had to show your post to the wife, she said I was the only one... :cool: Face Tramp!

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:04 pm 
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Newby Park, City of Fort Worth
@ Rosedale & Jerome
21 Aug 2012

the following is an account of a random venue whereupon Hank pooped

With their beautiful shapes and soft feathery plumes that dance in the breezes, fountain grasses add layers of depth and intrigue to the yard. The stringy blades of showy grass are particularly appealing to Hank, who, in his dog mind, must recognize and appreciate the roughage it provides. Or maybe its just the perfect garnish to pair with a daily bowl of dry kibbles. Not really sure. Yesterday's post dinner intake didn't seem to sit well with the Hankster, and this morning at the park he had a devil of time with a dangler of epic proportions. I watched as he frustratedly repositioned his muscular poop stance again and again in circles of despair, his feces ensnared and tangled in the digested ornamental grass that dangled from his canine bunghole like twisted rope. He simply couldn't get seperation, so in an instinctive rush I donned the plastic walmarks bag on my hand and gave it a yank. It was like pulling the string of a party popper--just one with an explosion of confetti entwined in dog shit. It pleased Hank immensely tho and he did a brief, but spirited crazy run. It grossed me the fuck out, but he would've done the same thing for me. Probably eat it too.


.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:11 pm 
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This may belong in Mundane, but I have never picked up an animal's shit with a plastic bag on my hand. My dog shits in the backyard, where the shit lies until dispersed by the lawnmower guy. If she shits during a walk, we run. I will use a pooper-scooper if needed, but picking up a hot steamer by hand is something white people invented and only white people do. I'm with the minorities on this one.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:28 pm 
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I don't always pick em up but I always have the bags and always pick it up from someone's yard. When he was a pup many moons ago he rocked a massive dump at the end of a walk in this neighbor's yard like 5 houses down from us. The owner came storming out, livid, and proceeded to give me quite the cussing. I was agreeable at first, told him I was in the wrong and would take care of it. He had none of it and kept on g d'ing and m f'ing me till I snapped and dog cussed his ass some. Anyway things were tense from that point on until we moved. People take dog poop awfully personal so I pick it up.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:53 pm 
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I'll get the scooper if she goes in a neighbor's yard just to keep things civil, but anyone who cusses at me about it is gonna eat it or at least get it chunked at their windows in the dark of night with my Dog Doot Launcher(TM).


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:38 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
Newby Park, City of Fort Worth
@ Rosedale & Jerome
21 Aug 2012

the following is an account of a random venue whereupon Hank pooped

With their beautiful shapes and soft feathery plumes that dance in the breezes, fountain grasses add layers of depth and intrigue to the yard. The stringy blades of showy grass are particularly appealing to Hank, who, in his dog mind, must recognize and appreciate the roughage it provides. Or maybe its just the perfect garnish to pair with a daily bowl of dry kibbles. Not really sure. Yesterday's post dinner intake didn't seem to sit well with the Hankster, and this morning at the park he had a devil of time with a dangler of epic proportions. I watched as he frustratedly repositioned his muscular poop stance again and again in circles of despair, his feces ensnared and tangled in the digested ornamental grass that dangled from his canine bunghole like twisted rope. He simply couldn't get seperation, so in an instinctive rush I donned the plastic walmarks bag on my hand and gave it a yank. It was like pulling the string of a party popper--just one with an explosion of confetti entwined in dog shit. It pleased Hank immensely tho and he did a brief, but spirited crazy run. It grossed me the fuck out, but he would've done the same thing for me. Probably eat it too.


.


Dang you are a devoted owner.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:17 pm 
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in the usual business office bathroom, how many pulls of the toilet paper do you take from massive and cumbersome plastic TP housing? I've heard dudes take 3 or 4 pulls...there's no way.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:41 pm 
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This coming from the guys who is notorious for sharting.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 1:20 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
I don't always pick em up but I always have the bags and always pick it up from someone's yard. When he was a pup many moons ago he rocked a massive dump at the end of a walk in this neighbor's yard like 5 houses down from us. The owner came storming out, livid, and proceeded to give me quite the cussing. I was agreeable at first, told him I was in the wrong and would take care of it. He had none of it and kept on g d'ing and m f'ing me till I snapped and dog cussed his ass some. Anyway things were tense from that point on until we moved. People take dog poop awfully personal so I pick it up.

I guess what goes around comes around. Today someone's dog/horse left a hot pile on my sidewalk right next to the driveway. Granted, it was probably a two-bagger, but I was hella pissed about it. They could've made an effort. Not that I would've, but still.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:11 pm 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
This coming from the guys who is notorious for sharting.


And leaving his Sharted Underwear in the AAC Suite Bathroom.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:41 pm 
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Cledus wrote:
TerdFerguson wrote:
This coming from the guys who is notorious for sharting.


And leaving his Sharted Underwear in the AAC Suite Bathroom.

:D

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:04 pm 
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cap wrote:
Cledus wrote:
TerdFerguson wrote:
This coming from the guys who is notorious for sharting.


And leaving his Sharted Underwear in the AAC Suite Bathroom.

:D


I left my mark on the AAC.....literally.

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:47 pm 
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You're welcome


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:29 am 
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thank you...now where's Btatt?

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:43 am 
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Ask Logs.


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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:38 am 
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Where's Logs?

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 Post subject: Re: random places / venues / restaurants I've taken a dump in
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:41 am 
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I think he moved to Lincoln.


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