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Growing old with Tit
http://removerowdy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4802		 Page 6 of 6
Author:  cap [ Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
earning your red wings. that's if you eat it
Author:  Trained Goucho [ Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
“Have the painters in”
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I went to my doctor Monday for my annual checkup, though it's actually been almost 2 years. He asked if I had any concerns besides my fatassedness and I decided to ask him about something I've always been curious about: Do I have low T? (That's testosterone for those not hip to the lingo.) My sex drive has always been around "once a week is plenty". Sure, when I was younger I was capable of it much more often, but I was never a horndog by any stretch of its definition, especially when compared to some friends who'd claw thru a wall if there was pussy on the other side. Sex is natural, sex is good, but I never needed it that much, thanks George Michael. So the doctor had my level tested from one of my blood samples. I got the results back today. Standard range for T is between 123-813 in whatever units they measure by. That's a pretty wide range. I measured 142. Barely on it, but still on it and thus it's not recommended I do anything about it. But it settled my curiosity about it and gives me a medical reason for frustrating Mrs. Tit all these years.
Author:  Trained Goucho [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I’d be thrilled with once a week. Once a month is more the standard set by the gatekeeper.
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
You should get your wife's T levels checked.
Author:  Sweet Greggo [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Ted took pills for low T. It's probably why he doesn't post here anymore.
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Glasses used to not cost much. At least they didn't when I was young and my parents paid for these things for me. Nowadays, hoo-boy! $600 may seem steep, and it is, but it's about normal from what I've experienced. My dad's side of the family has piss-poor eyesight, and I was not spared this malady. I got glasses when I was 9 and switched to contacts when I was 13 because I wanted to look more suave and less dork. Still wear contacts to this day, and because of the cost, I wear disposables for 6-7 months at a time. Don't worry, I take them out at night. But I make a year's prescription last 2-3 sometimes up to 4 years. You can avoid being yelled at by the doctor by getting your eyes checked right around when you put your last fresh pair in. Also, go to a new doctor each time. This way they won't see your record and realize it's been 4 years since you've had a checkup. Tell them you're new to the area. Audibly bemoan the lack of a Chili's in this town. They'll fall for it, trust me. And as I tell everyone I meet everyday, "YOU DO NEED TO BE LOYAL TO YOUR OPTOMETRIST!" Often they look at me funny for telling them this, but one day when they need a checkup they'll remember and heed my words. Last time I went, it was a total meat parade. There was a dude receptionist who didn't wink. The guy who ordered my contacts was nice but super gay. I think he did wink. The doctor talked more about the Avengers than my eyes. He had some HSOs about Thor. He didn't wink.
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Ok, when I started writing that there was a lengthy Gaucho post about the optometrist up there. Half my shit doesn't make sense out of context but I'm not deleting it. Puzzlement is just going to have to be part of your day.
Author:  or somesuch [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I saw the gaucho post and I'm sad it's no longer there.
Author:  Trained Goucho [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
It was awfully long winded and then I felt overexposed talking about my infirmities. Guess I went full Mallard with the delete.
Author:  jim jack [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Oh TG, I bet it was as good as your other efforts, which are always top-notch. Or is it top shelf?

Oh well, I enjoyed Tit's take on eyesight. I need to heed your advise on making contacts last and going to a different doctor each time. I was doing that sort of thing but I went to the same doctor, year after year. A few years ago, my ass got called out for making contacts last longer.

My luck with those doctors out here has been hit or miss. The strangest one was at a Walmart where they had a common saline bottle. Think about that one. I got a bad cold after visiting that place. Gee, I wonder where I got it?

The next year I went back and brought my own saline just to make a damn point. Sure enough I was pointed to the common bottle and I whipped out my own, saying they shouldn't be doing that.

Five years later, they still have a common saline bottle sitting there, but they furnish their patients with a little unopened bottle like they do in the city. Dummies.
Author:  Trained Goucho [ Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I had it saved as a draft while I worked it out. here ya go:




I was walking with purpose, on my way to Spectacles for my first ever eye doctor's appointment yesterday when I saw myself in the mirror-like window of the recently closed Freshii. It was an unexpected viewing and as panic inducing as accidentally activating Facetime. Do you hate when that happens too? I looked about as graceful and fluid as the un-lubed Tin Man when I made eye contact with myself. I was in the process of navigating a high curb and pivoting left. Movements like that tend to involve my total torso as my spine and neck are mostly fused due to the toll AS took on me through the years. This loss of functional mobility bums me out more than I like to admit and I was losing the battle of positive self esteem as I entered the office for my appointment.

The doctor's office/retail store was really nice and modern except for the old school Charles Swindoll essay on "Attitude." One of my first bosses had this same print in their office. It irked me every time I read it even though I admit the message is true. Anyhoo, the first girl was young, probably 25ish, and in purple scrubs. Cute too in a puffy way. Really nice skin. She was the counter girl and gave me the new patient paperwork to fill out. When I was done and handed it back to her she was on the phone but acknowledged me with a smile and gave me a little wink. The wink was spectacular and my spirits immediately lifted. I'd go so far to say it sent a chill throughout my entire body and I would have paid her a lot of money to position herself in different areas of the store and wink at me all day long. More chicks should wink at me throughout the day.

I was pretty quickly escorted to phase 2 where an older, sassy lil' butterball who was most likely a non-winker ran a battery of tests on my eyes. All of the tests sucked. One was where you held a clicker and clicked every time you thought you saw a dancing white fleck on the screen. After a while it just had a hypnotic effect on me where I would zone out and forget what I was there for. She was kind of gruff at first but I was still buoyed by the wink, and I employed the tactic of acting as though lady 2 was very beautiful, or at least like I hadn't noticed she was old and overweight. Whatever I had done it had worked and she was nice as pie for the remaining two eye tests. When she was done with the final stage I had to return an eye patch to her and when she took it she gave my hand a little squeeze before letting go.
"That's nice, that little squeeze," I said, which just slipped right out of my mouth.
"It's what we do in prayer group, just before the prayer is over," she explained, "a little something extra."

I had not been waiting that long at all in Room #3 when in came the optometrist herself. She had a really good look-age appropriate silver hair with a cool cut and stylish glasses. When I stood to greet her with a handshake I had forgotten my phone was in my lap and it fell to the floor. Hate when I drop stuff because I cannot just bend over and pick things up anymore; rather I have to get on my knees. It's really demoralizing. She swooped in without hesitation and handed it right back to me. I felt warm fuzzies for her at once.
"Having a hard go of it lately," she asked.
"Apparently I got old and am losing my sight," I replied.
She began positioning my head towards the eye chart machine and said something about age. My neck was sensitive to her manipulations. She followed up with "Sometimes these things are blessings in disguise."
I was beginning to put two and two together on who the office Swindoll fan was, but instead of getting ticked I decided to play on the one string I had like ol' Chuck would do. I chose a better attitude.
"When one door opens, another closes," I shot back. She was done bantering with me though and had gotten back to work. Dang it. You never want to be the last one quipping.

On a positive note she told me my distance vision was better than 20/20 and I was fine with using the readers I had been buying from Walgreen's. She did suggest some bifocals so I could wear them around for certain situations and not have to carry around readers and take them off and on. It sounded like a good plan and she said insurance would cover most of it so I was sold. This lead me back to lady 2 who personally selected a snazzy pair of frames she said looked great on me. Lady 2 led me back to the winker who was placing the order for the prescription and tallying up my total. I was floored when she told me it would be $600. I must have really shitty insurance. At any rate, I try to make it my policy to act nonplussed about the cost of things around women. I don't think I pulled it of though and when I stated if it was all the same I would just stick to my twenty dollar 1.75s and that she could cancel my order she did not respond with a going away wink.

As I was walking out the winker and lady 2 told me to have a nice day and I did kind of a robot dance half body turn to wave an acknowledgement. I remembered what the optometrist had said when I told her apparently I was getting old-- it was "old age isn't for wimps". Isn't that the truth.
Author:  jim jack [ Sun Aug 25, 2019 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Nothing short of awesome. Thank you, sir.
Author:  Trained Goucho [ Tue Jun 09, 2020 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I was returning a pair of shorts at Dillard's :bigtime: when a dazzling shirt caught my eye. It was really sharp so I went to check it out. It was a Tommy Bahama.
Author:  Sweet Greggo [ Tue Jun 09, 2020 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Trained Goucho wrote:
I was returning a pair of shorts at Dillard's :bigtime: when a dazzling shirt caught my eye. It was really sharp so I went to check it out. It was a Tommy Bahama.


I don't know what Tommy Bahama is but for some reason my brain is forcing me to read that as "Tommy Bahommy"
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Thu Oct 15, 2020 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
So I mentioned elsewhere on the forum about having a half-brother. I learnt it pre-covid and then dropped it without further info. My apologies for leaving you boys hanging all this time.

Anyhoo, we've spoken to the guy a few times, exchanged some emails, and even did a video chat thru Google. He's a good guy, and we've welcomed him with open arms into our always-at-arms-length family.

He got the ball rolling on searching for his biological parents after being diagnosed with stage 2 pancreatic cancer at age 54. He's 58 now and been in remission for 4 years. Good for him. He wanted to learn if there was a history of cancer in his biological folks and holy dogshit is there ever! My mom, as you may or may not recall, died of ovarian cancer at age 53. Her mom died of breast cancer at 54. I don't call her grandma because I never her. She's just my mom's mom.

So he got a genetic test and learned he has a mutation in his BRCA2 gene. You can pronounce that as Brakka, like it's a Street Fighter character. Or maybe B.A. Brakka from the A-Team. It's close enough. Remember Mr. T? He seemed real mean on TV, but he's actually a real sweet guy. Does a lot of charity work. Good for him. So this BRCA2 gene helps fight cancer like Crest toothpaste fights plaque. Remember the Cavity Creeps? They'd attack Toothopolis while chanting, "WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!!" I totally would've watched a full 30-minute cartoon about the heroes of Toothopolis fighting the deadly Cavity Creeps. I think the Cavity Creeps are related somewhere to the Spotmaker who lives in your dishwasher. That dude was fuckin' creepy. I think it was the primitive animation. I would not watch a 30-minute cartoon about him. Ok, I think I've gotten off track here.

If you have a mutation, you're at greater risk for cancer. Women who have it have about a 50% greater chance of getting (achieving?) breast cancer and an 11-17% greater chance of getting ovarian cancer. You see a connection here?

He recommended that my brother and I get tested for the mutation. My brother tested positive for it a couple months ago. I got my results back yesterday, and yep, I got it too. That's quite a batting average for the old lady. Now, men don't have ovaries, but the cancer can manifest itself in other ways. We now have about a 5-6% greater chance of breast cancer ourselves, and a 16% greater chance of getting prostate cancer. There's also an increased chance of pancreatic cancer (another connection!) and melonoma, but the increase chance hasn't been determined yet.

So, now we're at least aware of how things can go for us, and we can get tested yearly for all of these ailments. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Author:  jim jack [ Sun Oct 18, 2020 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Dang, man. Dang.
Author:  Sweet Greggo [ Fri Oct 30, 2020 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Bruh don't get complacent on that.
Author:  Tit Whistle [ Thu Jan 11, 2024 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
I didn't know where to put this, but this thread seems logical enough. I just read on LinkedIn, of all places, that Walt's wife died. This isn't Hugo, but his 2nd wife that he married after he moved to SoCal. She had very bad cancer. Awful for Walt and the rest of her family. Send some positive thoughts his way.
Author:  Sweet Greggo [ Thu Jan 11, 2024 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Wow, that is awful news.
Author:  bigboy [ Fri Jan 12, 2024 10:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
That is terrible. Holding a good thought for Walt.
Author:  jim jack [ Tue Jan 16, 2024 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
Well, crap. I really hate that. Thanks for letting us know about it.
Author:  cap [ Thu Feb 22, 2024 7:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Growing old with Tit
The older I get the more annoying people make me. There is a guys at the gym who never really works out, but goes from buddy to buddy talking about whatnot. It's 5am and this dude woke up just to talk! Shutup and workout!
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