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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 1:13 pm 
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I'm just one of those people who has a lot of earwax. Prolly it's just a natural thing to protect my sensitive eardrums. I could go to an ENT to see if anything can be done, but it's really not that big of a deal.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:00 am 
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Some people just have the ear wax issue.

I used to be in a band with a singer who had that. It caused him to sing off key. After he had his ears cleaned out, he was good as new. However, because we were friends with him, many times we would accuse him of having his ears stopped up for meanness.

Hoob: Hey, Dude. You are singing really flat tonight. Are your ears full of wax again, asshole? (Band members all laugh.)

Singer, looking at each member of the band: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck Hoob for sure!


Last edited by jim jack on Sun Aug 11, 2013 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:17 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Some people just have the ear wax issue.

I used to be in a band with a singer who had that. It caused him to sing off key. After he had his ears cleaned out, he was good as new. However, because we were friend with him, many times we would accuse him of having his ears stopped up for meanness.

Hoob: Hey, Dude. You are singing really flat tonight. Are your ears full of wax again, asshole? (Band members all laugh.)

Singer, looking at each member of the band: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck Hoob for sure!


TIL that Tit used to be in a cover band in and around Sherman.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:03 am 
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Hey tit, I'm a heavy earwax guy too. They got so clogged about 4 years ago and I had to go to the doctor to get it cleaned out. My experience was better than yours.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:23 am 
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you're suppose to not stick anything in your ear. You're suppose to just let it fall out naturally

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:25 am 
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hey Tit, I'm heavy earwax guy #3. Sometimes when I'm driving or something I'll feel glaciers of wax fall into the canal and I'll scoop it out with my pinky finger and marvel at it. I don't have clogging issues really, just a lot of Q-tippy clean up instances a couple of times a day. When I was a kid, I had the tubes in the ears experiences. I have very vague memories of it sucking. At 17, I perforated my left eardrum water skiing at the lake. Do people water ski anymore? I don't leave the house much. I used to be able to water ski on 1 ski. Only pussies use two skis. Anywho, it hurt like hell. I didn't know I had a busted ear drum and when I got home from the lake I poured rubbing alcohol in that ear. It was the worst pain ever. Still, I didn't break and tell my parents until a couple weeks later. I had been stealing pain killers my mom had from her hysterectomy and when they ran out I knew I was fucked. The ear, nose, and throat doctor stuck some kind of ice pick thing way down deep in the ear to vacuum all kinds of gunk outta there. You could feel it scraping around. It was terrible. I ended up having surgery on it. He had to shave the left side of my head to take a skin graft from my scalp to craft a new drum. I guess my hearing is ok. Hearing tests are a mind fuck anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:36 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
The ear, nose, and throat doctor stuck some kind of ice pick thing way down deep in the ear to vacuum all kinds of gunk outta there. You could feel it scraping around. It was terrible. I ended up having surgery on it. He had to shave the left side of my head to take a skin graft from my scalp to craft a new drum.


I had this same shit done when I was 10. They put me out for it. It was my first ever surgery. I think it was my right ear but I can't remember. They cleaned out a divot then took some of meh precious skin to cover it up. Sounds barbaric, but it worked.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:37 am 
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just a couple of dudes waxing nostalgic about ear surgery.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:43 am 
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<---desperately trying to figure out how to use cerumen in a :dad: joke


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
Hearing tests are a mind fuck anyway.


In 6th grade, I scored the highest on the hearing test. The one where you sit facing away from the tester and raise your hand when you hear the beep.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:44 pm 
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I studied for that test but still didn't do well. :sad:


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:44 pm 
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His earwax makes them leave the yard.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:47 am 
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I never gave a thought to eyebrows until a couple of months ago when I noticed that they seemed to be getting bushier. A horizontal strip in the middle that ran end to end seemed to almost take on a fauxhawk-like form. It was a pisser. Some mornings after shaving I would lick the tips of my fingers and mat them down. Once they dried up they looked nappy again. Last week when I was cutting my hair and was in fuck it mode I put a #1 blade on the clippers and sheared the eyebrows. They look fantastic.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 10:31 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
I never gave a thought to eyebrows until a couple of months ago when I noticed that they seemed to be getting bushier. A horizontal strip in the middle that ran end to end seemed to almost take on a fauxhawk-like form. It was a pisser. Some mornings after shaving I would lick the tips of my fingers and mat them down. Once they dried up they looked nappy again. Last week when I was cutting my hair and was in fuck it mode I put a #1 blade on the clippers and sheared the eyebrows. They look fantastic.


At a certain age men begin growing hair everywhere but their head. I am constantly yanking a rogue hair out of my ear canal and have had to start shaving my toe knuckles for the last 15 years!

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:17 am 
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I've got one growing on the outside of my left nostril. Weirdest thing ever.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:38 am 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
I never gave a thought to eyebrows until a couple of months ago when I noticed that they seemed to be getting bushier. A horizontal strip in the middle that ran end to end seemed to almost take on a fauxhawk-like form. It was a pisser. Some mornings after shaving I would lick the tips of my fingers and mat them down. Once they dried up they looked nappy again. Last week when I was cutting my hair and was in fuck it mode I put a #1 blade on the clippers and sheared the eyebrows. They look fantastic.


Clippers are the shiznit for eyebrows. I don't use a guide at all on my clipper when I cut mine. I use a #1 when I trim the pubes.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 8:49 am 
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How often do you think about your belly button? It's usually not top of mind for me but today when I was shaving and, yes, I was shirtless, I happened to look at my b-button. Mine is a deep pit. It is also round. There is hair growth around it. Some people have cinnamon roll type belly-b's that protrude. Anyhoo, I kinda noticed something inside my bb so I grabbed a pair of tweezers and went to work. It was kinda like Operation. I was expecting lint or something but I ended up plucking out a clump of hair that was grey,brown, and black. It was like a squirrel tail. I stared at it a long time. That was like an hour ago and ever since my bel-but has had a pleasant tingle emanating from it, like how your privates feel after an emergency pee.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 9:40 am 
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Not a big fan of that tingly belly button feeling. Mine is round and deep pitted also.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 3:44 pm 
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or somesuch wrote:
Not a big fan of that tingly belly button feeling. Mine is round and deep pitted also.

:babyarm: I don't like that feeling at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 9:17 pm 
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I've always hated that feeling. Maybe there's a bunch of nerves swirled up in that thing. Creeps me out.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 6:35 am 
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A couple of things in the past month:

I have an incredibly stiff neck. Maybe it is arthritic. Anyhoo, the range of motion is shit. I usually have to turn my whole body in either direction to see side to side. When driving, I've become adept at opening the driver's door to position the side mirror so I can see if any traffic is coming. I started seeing a wacky chiropractor type about it. His office is linked to a cross fit box. They are a bit of a cultish lot, but his work has been helping and has loosened things up a bit. I have a couple of daily exercises too. They are painful. One is to stand flush with my back to a wall with my taut melon buttocks touching it. The goal is to double chin move the head backwards until the back of my head touches the wall and I am in a nice straight line. I can accomplish this in about 30 seconds with concentration and heavy mouth breathing. I also take theracumin and a night time advil before bed. Do advil help you sleep better? The other involves a foam roller and writhing on the floor.

Also, I noticed when referencing a catalog for some specs a few weeks ago on a mortar mixer how insanely small the type was. The print was all fuzzy, like staring at a street light after having swimming underwater with your eyes open in a highly chlorinated pool. I threw on my wife's readers and whammo, like magic, everything came into focus. I picked up a pair of readers at half priced books on Sunday. They are horned rimmed like that dude from Weezer wears. Night time reading is much nicer now. Kind of weird. I've never needed glasses before and I've done everything right, like eating carrots.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:41 am 
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I get the occasion neck crick from improper sleeping techniques. I know all about that shifting your body to look at things thing. Mrs Tit laughs at me when I do it. She's not very nice sometimes. The crick usually goes away after a day or two.

Piss-poor eyesight is a family trait. I first got glasses when I was 9. I wear contacts now. (Yes, they're Acuvue.)


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:26 am 
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I've had progressively worsening shoulder pain over the last six months and I fear that I'm going to need the dreaded rotator cuff surgery in the near future.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:35 pm 
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I fucked up my shoulder a few years ago and just ignored it. Really the only issue I have is throwing anything with any velocity which never really comes up anymore.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:55 pm 
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It all started when I played on a softball team last fall. I couldn't throw the ball for shit and I started eventually having soreness. It was worse earlier in the spring, sort of went away, and then returned with a vengeance a few weeks ago.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:19 pm 
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I'm in the middle of my first gout attack in 5.5 years. I loaded up on spicy shrimp at this Chinese place over here last Thursday. The next day, my hand started turning pink in about a quarter sized circumference on the palm, just below the thumb. It didn't hurt too bad, but I had some pretty intense pain in the finger. Anyway, I didn't realize it was gout yet because I had never had a breakout above the knee. I figured it was a spider bite or a rash or somesuch. Was going to give it the weekend and call the doctor. Went to the Social House on Saturday before the Garth Brooks concert ( :bigtime: ) and doubled up with shrimp (that's a no-no during a gout attack) and grits and a lot of beer (also a no-no, would eat here again, by the way). On Sunday, little bubbles started growing out of the infected area, I looked it up and sure enough - the gout. The bubbles are crystals. Pretty cool, huh? It never looked like this when I had it on my knee or ankle. For 2 days, I've been trying to flush it out of my system. I would say I've peed >30 times in that timeframe. I don't have the sharp pains anymore, but the bubbles are still there (probably nickel sized now) and when I touch it, it hurts like a motherfucker. May give up shellfish for good. Probably not though.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:39 pm 
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Gout Bubbles was the name of my band in high school.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:53 pm 
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What kind of music did y'all play?


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:54 pm 
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I wouldn't want to give up shellfish either. It's delicious. I hardly ever eat Chinese food. Here is my TLDR Chinese food story, circa Friends in Low Places timeframe: When I was a pup and in the National Guard there was a Chinese buffet we would hit up on drill weekends. It was called Taste of China. Like most Chinese places in shit towns it sucked. We called it Taste of Vagina. Anyhoo, we mouth fucked the shit outta that buffet one Saturday and all of us got violently ill. About a week later it made the news when police responded to a burglar alarm call at the location and discovered hordes of rats on the buffet bar swarming the food that wasn't put away. The rats set off the alarm. It was big news for awhile. They even covered the restaurant with a big canopy for a long time before condemning it. I still love Thai and Veitcong food. How was the show?


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:14 pm 
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Awesome. I only really like one song and mildly like 4-5 others, but he can put on a show. Had me drunkenly singing songs I hate. I think I even played air guitar once, but not sure.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:46 pm 
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I saw Garth at the State Fair right after he released his 1st album. When I say "saw" I mean stand in a huge crowd trying to see through people to get a glimpse at the stage, get claustrophobic after way too many people showed up than they planned for, and high tailed it out of there before I had a panic attack.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:46 pm 
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His 1 song I like is Much Too Young (to feel this damn old)


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:51 pm 
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he sucks

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:52 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
His 1 song I like is Much Too Young (to feel this damn old)


Both the 1st and second albums are solid. He started swerving on the third and he was in the ditch after the forth.,

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:55 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
His 1 song I like is Much Too Young (to feel this damn old)

Nailed it


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 4:05 pm 
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cap wrote:
he sucks

:babyarm:


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 11:18 pm 
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I saw him in Fort Worth in 1998 right before he sent his career off of the cliff with that rock star alter ego nonsense. He put on a great show, but this was around the time when my taste in country music was quickly shifting away from the mainstream Nashville garbage.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 1:42 pm 
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I went to bed last night with some stomach cramps. I figured I just needed to fart, though nothing came out. I fell asleep but woke up a couple hours later and the cramps were worse. Still no ability to fart. Additionally, I felt sick to my stomach like I wanted to hurl. I stumbled to the bathroom with tablet in hand (yes, it's a Kindle) and sat for a while perusing WebMD. I was beginning to think it could be appendicitus (yes, I still have my appendix.) Nothing happened on the bowl though my symptoms persisted. I did what any man would do when he doesn't know what the fuck is happening, and woke up the wife. After some discussion, she got up and got me some fiber gummies. Ever had those? It's a dose of fiber in gummy form and it's fun! Before long, the pains started to subside. I fell asleep for the rest of the night.

In the morning, the cramps were gone but I had a headache. I took my thyroid pill and it made me feel a little sick. I decided to stay home. Around noon, I pooped. It was solid. After that, I had a piece of toast and it's staying down. All seems well. I wonder what the hell that was?


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:32 pm 
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Did you eat a bunch of peanuts? I ate a full can of mixed nuts once (the short can, not the tall one) and was up all night crampin' real hawd. Felt like Chicken George fed me a bunch of ground up glass.

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:39 pm 
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it was gout

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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 10:16 am 
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When I was at the Relax the Back store buying my new pillow on Saturday, fate directed my eye to a stack of Dr Ho's Neck Comforters. Have you ever heard of Dr. Ho or his amazing invention? Lemme tell ya, Dr Ho (oh) Dr Ho, has invented a revolutionary way of doctorin your neckis. Please note, it is an "as seen on tv" product so you know it's legit.

Pic of product:
Image

I've been wearing this bad boy off and on all weekend with varying levels of inflation and is it ever comfy. My neck feels loose as a goose. I also scored some real sexy time action last night so I think it's safe to say that women get moist when they see their man rocking the neck comforter.


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 Post subject: Re: Growing old with Tit
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:20 am 
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