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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:41 pm 
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I just got gas at a Circle K that served Valero gasoline, and yes, I used a credit card on account of skimmers. It was a fancy pump and had a built in tv screen smack dab in the middle of it. Isn't technology something? In addition to sports highlights from the NHL and MLB, I got to watch a snake handler serve an apparently thirsty king cobra water straight from a bottle, a pretty and fine spokeswoman telling me aboot (I think she was Canadian) a hot dog combo special to be had inside, today's word of the day which was ig·no·min·i·ous which is an adjective and means deserving or causing public disgrace or shame. Ex: "no other party risked ignominious defeat" some synonyms: humiliating, undignified, embarrassing, mortifying. After all that there was a brain teaser with two scrambled words, wheel of fortune style. It looked kinda like FELEIF WTEOR Hint: it was a place. They only gave me 8 seconds and it rattled me. It turned out to be "Eiffel Tower". Do you like the smell of 87 octane gas? I do but it was very windy and the aroma eluded me.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:49 pm 
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I'm usually too busy fishing trash out of my car or cleaning my windows while I gas up. Last week when I bought gas, the QT near my house had sub-$2.00 gas, so the place was hopping and there was a line at each pump. The asshole I decided to wait behind gave his entire car a whore bath with the window cleaning brush and squeegee after he was done filling up. I fully expected him to leave his car parked at the pump while he went in and shopped. A TV at the pump with word sorts and sports highlights might have improved the experience.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:24 pm 
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I use my kroger rewards to get 10 to 20 cents off my fill up. I usually do it at a shell station because none of the krogers near me have gas pumps.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:42 pm 
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Today I was posting something to the elementary school website, and they had a little play with Red, the Big Bad wolf, etc. However, for the caption I accidentally typed, "Little Red Riding Hoob."

I laughed and changed it, then called myself a dumbass.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:43 pm 
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I don't like fake eye lashes. It makes a girl look prettier than she is, but it's fake. Not fake boobs, because boobs are good. But fake eye lashes are like fake extensions.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 3:48 pm 
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:shock:

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:44 am 
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I was walking across a parking lot yesterday with the wife and my eyes zeroed in on an older model Cadillac in a handicap space. It had Arkansas plates and was personalized to announce disabled army vet status followed by "HOOB".


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:06 pm 
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:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I wonder if he posted dumb crap on message boards.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:52 am 
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It was Mutual of Omaha Animal Kingdom yesterday. On the morning walk the dogs went crazy in a pine forest section of our route and treed a couple of coons like so much Old Dan and little Ann. Thank goodness for prong collars or I would have never gotten those psycho twats to reset their focus.

Later, I had to drive out to a desolate section outside of Port Gibson. There's a big ass nuclear power plant there. I think it's the cooling towers that make those places so creepy and end of times looking. They almost look like big ass pottery, made by the hands of a big ass giant Patrick Swayze. Cue Unchained Melody. Anyhoo, there was no cell service or anything in those parts when I left. I got kind of turned around and ended up on "General Grant's March", which is a narrow historic road that runs parallel to the Mississippi River and winds around tropical looking kudzu-filled forest. It's remarkable how invasive kudzu is. Between that and seeing mobile home living at its jaw dropping dilapidated worst, it was a total creep fest, I tell ya. Deer were popping out erwhere tho. Armadillo was the road kill du jour. I also saw 2 red foxes when I stopped to pee on the side of the road. Do you ever wonder why the plural of ox is oxen, but fox isn't foxen?

After dinner, or supper as it's called in these parts, I leashed the pack up for their evening walk. A bird had made the door wreath home and when I opened it the lil bastard flew in the house. It was total chaos, due mostly to my wife. This little fella was as sweet as a hummingbird, but every time it would take flight towards me I'd recoil like the total man bitch I apparently am. It took the better part of 20 minutes, but I'm happy to report he made it out unscathed.

Lastly, our bat is back. He likes to hang upside down from this speaker that's mounted up high on the back patio. At first I thought we had a mouse on account of all the rodent dung. Traps were fruitless, yet the poop was consistent and always in the same place. It was maddening. One night I thought to look up and there he was, pretty as you please. This was like a week ago. He gave me the heebie jeebies and I thoroughly douched him down with wasp spray and he was gone. Gone like a thief in the night. I wondered if the spray killed him. I read up on bats after that and felt kinda bad. Did you know they are a protected species? They also aid in pollination. Glad he's not dead, but dang it I can't abide with no gosh dang pooping bat around. Poop changes everything.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:00 pm 
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Some say that if a bird flies into your house, it is bad luck.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:01 pm 
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Bad luck for the people who live in the house. Not the bird. Unless the family cat gets him.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 10:02 am 
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I hardly ever answer my desk phone unless it's in my contacts. It's usually a Kris Kris trying to sell me tech. However, this time they tricked me with a familiar looking phone number. When I answered it was a dude with a thick chinese accent. While he was making his sales pitch the only thing i could think of is 'is this hong kong Paul'?

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:07 am 
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I don't answer my phone either.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:16 pm 
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Phone number spoofers selling tech shit are a plague for me. If a phone number has a Denton prefix, it's some dumbfuck from Calcutta. No exceptions.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 10:21 pm 
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This is part of an email that was in my spam folder at work Friday. The second line is the Subject:

dicksbymail@dicksbymail.com
Anonymously Mail a Bag of D**ks.

edited to add...Oh wow, that is a real website selling gummy bear dicks.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:21 am 
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I've been married to this woman for 16 years, and we have a 15 and 12 yo boys. I was surprised when she refused to allow the boys to watch 'The Three Stooges' marathon i had planned. She said it was too violent.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 9:35 am 
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Women are dumb about that stuff. Titette (who's 17) watched Deadpool and Mrs Tit wasn't bothered about her seeing the impaling and blood spattering and heads flying off, but rather the montage early on with boobs and simulated fucking. Stupid Puritans.

Also, I bet your boys watch football and that's more violent than the Stooges.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:57 am 
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Yeah, but games involving the Raiders aren't real football.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:51 pm 
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http://www.espn.com/chalk/story/_/id/20 ... other-team

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm 
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cap wrote:
http://www.espn.com/chalk/story/_/id/20358541/more-bets-oakland-raiders-win-super-bowl-other-team


lol

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:21 pm 
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bigboy wrote:
Yeah, but games involving the Raiders aren't real football.

That is an excellent point.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 11:16 am 
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Sonic is offering corn dogs for 50 cents all day today.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 12:33 pm 
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Trained Goucho wrote:
Sonic is offering corn dogs for 50 cents all day today.


:fist:

Fed a family of four for $13.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 1:48 pm 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
Trained Goucho wrote:
Sonic is offering corn dogs for 50 cents all day today.


:fist:

Fed a family of four for $13.


You must have been really baked.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 1:51 pm 
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or somesuch wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
Trained Goucho wrote:
Sonic is offering corn dogs for 50 cents all day today.


:fist:

Fed a family of four for $13.


You must have been really baked.

no kidding. it should have cost $2

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:33 am 
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or somesuch wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
Trained Goucho wrote:
Sonic is offering corn dogs for 50 cents all day today.


:fist:

Fed a family of four for $13.


You must have been really baked.


:D Including drink and fries and pot.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:00 am 
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:p

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 10:53 am 
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Layoffs today! 40% workforce cuts! I find out my fate at noon. Here's hoping!

:bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance:
:pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper:
:bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance:
:pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper:
:bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance:
:pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper:
:bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance:
:pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper:
:bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance:
:pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper: :bananadance: :pepper:


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 11:10 am 
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You must like your job.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:10 pm 
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Oh no, Mister Tit.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:29 pm 
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:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:07 pm 
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:prayer:


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:07 pm 
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Turns out it was more like a 60% cut, and yeah your buddy Tit was included in that. Our jobs are being eliminated which means we still have them for awhile, at least until the end of November, though the rumor mill is currently saying I got til the end of March. Then we also get a severance package that includes a paycheck for each year you've worked there, and since it's been 10 years for me, I get 20 weeks severance. It's really not a bad deal. I should be able to find work in that time.

And this isn't an attempt to sound like sour grapes, but I really didn't wanna work for this place anymore anyway and probably would've sought another job even if they kept me. The original company I hired in with was awesome, but 2 years ago we got bought by a shit company ( *cough* Harman *cough* ) that didn't know what to do with us and they ended up fuckin' cratering the place. I will forever cherish my time with the people and company of AMX, but Harman can go fuck itself.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:21 pm 
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Did always wears shorts guy make the cut?


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:39 pm 
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I strongly suspect he was cut off.

Sorry for the loss of your employment, Tit. Maybe Gam can get you a sign hanging gig.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 3:51 pm 
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I'd hate to be laid off but severances and buyouts all sound intriguing to me. If you offered me a years worth of severance I might take it.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 3:59 pm 
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I'd probably take 6 months


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 7:57 pm 
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Currently, they're keeping me here til March 31st. That date could get pushed out as projects inevitably get extended for unforeseen reasons. Then I get 20 weeks severance plus whatever vacation I don't use, which will be 4 weeks because I'm gonna milk this bitch.

On the plus side, I already got a phone interview lined up for tomorrow afternoon and I'm willing to ditch all of the above for a sizeable pay increase with a better company. And that's probably what the evil execs hope I'll do.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 7:23 am 
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Tit Whistle wrote:
Currently, they're keeping me here til March 31st. That date could get pushed out as projects inevitably get extended for unforeseen reasons. Then I get 20 weeks severance plus whatever vacation I don't use, which will be 4 weeks because I'm gonna milk this bitch.

On the plus side, I already got a phone interview lined up for tomorrow afternoon and I'm willing to ditch all of the above for a sizeable pay increase with a better company. And that's probably what the evil execs hope I'll do.

prayers answered. God is great.

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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:28 am 
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I've never been laid off, but every place I've been (6, yes I jump around almost as much as Walt) has had them. Two of the places had severances that made me wish I was part of the cut.

My last place offered a year salary if your age + years of service = 55 or above. They were trying to get rid of old people. You didn't have to take it, but if not, you know you're probably on the hot seat for the next round and that offer may not be there. It was a sweet gig too, making the decision even harder. Most took it. Most were probably close to retirement anyway. I would have taken it.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:02 am 
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I talked to a guy here who's keeping his job and is disappointed about it. He's been here a long time and said his severance would've been huge, but now if he's leaves he gets nothing. Wah.


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 Post subject: Re: Mundane shit worth sharing
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:04 am 
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or somesuch wrote:
I've never been laid off, but every place I've been (6, yes I jump around almost as much as Walt) has had them. Two of the places had severances that made me wish I was part of the cut.

My last place offered a year salary if your age + years of service = 55 or above. They were trying to get rid of old people. You didn't have to take it, but if not, you know you're probably on the hot seat for the next round and that offer may not be there. It was a sweet gig too, making the decision even harder. Most took it. Most were probably close to retirement anyway. I would have taken it.


jesus, I almost qualify for that :-\


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