somebody hacked my account!

One time I went to GIML and noticed that Walt a funny website on his sig. The best of the bunch has been deleted from the website, but I googled it and posted it here:

Barter My Whore Wife
Posted at: 2009-06-12 01:49:36
This one was a little tricky. If you didn't figure it out, I am both Mike Anderson and Kira Anderson.
Original ad:
i am looking to trade/barter my 1994 Jeep Wrangler. 140k miles, yellow, good condition. NO CASH. I will barter just about anything of equal value!
From Mike Anderson to **********@***********.org
CC: Kira Anderson

Hey,

I saw your ad for a '94 Wrangler for barter. I will trade you my whore of a wife for that car. She is a dirty little slut that fucks just about anything that moves. She doesn't really have much to offer, so I figure she is worth about the price of a used 1994 wrangler. I understand if you think she isn't worth it, so I am willing to throw in $200 cash on top of that. If you are looking for a loose whore that will give it up easily, my wife will be well worth the trade. Let me know if you are interested. Does the Wrangler come with a title?

From Jim ***** to Me

Ha ha! Very funny. I am married and don't think I would be interested in your wife. Thanks for the offer though!

From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****

OH FUCK YOU MIKE!! DROP FUCKING DEAD!!! YOU ARE SUCH A SCUMBAG PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****

Fuck YOU, you stupid cunt! What are you doing on the computer? I figured you were fucking Steve again. Or how about our neighbor? I'm sure he's looking to stick his dick in some rotten pussy. You fucking twat.

From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****

MIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIS IS IT. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME TODAY BECAUSE ILL BE WAITING WITH A FUCKIN KNIFE

From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****

Ooh I'm real fucking scared. It might be kind of hard to stab me with 10 inches of black dick in your mouth you fucking WHORE

From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson

Hey you two sound like a great couple and all, but could you stop including me in these e-mails? I really don't think this concerns me.

From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

TELL YOU WHAT JIM ILL BUY YOUR FUCKING WRANGLER SO I CAN RUN OVER MY PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND WITH IT

From Mike Anderson to Jim *****, Kira Anderson

Jim don't sell it to her. She'll probably pick up a random dude and crash the jeep while she's sucking his dick.

From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

FUCK YOU

From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson

Will both of you shut the fuck up and stop e-mailing me?

I've read this one 30 times and I never fail to laugh to laugh at this line:

It might be kind of hard to stab me with 10 inches of black dick in your mouth you fucking WHORE

Hoob.

I've been reading the Lamebook blog lately. It can be just as creepy/funny as some of these Craig's list ads.

Dear Biggest of all known Boys,



Signed,

Your Neighborhood Friendly Chosen 1

Get your own bit, Corky.

i think i may very well be every football fans d girl!! I'm really hot, and love football. I'm looking for a guy to watch the game with every week! I love the cowboys, but at the same time, i really like adrian peterson, so i like to watch minnesota too. different division, so it's all good! =) . I have the sunday ticket on directv too, and I really watch all the games. I usually don't miss one. I'm looking for a friend with benefits, to spend the night on saturdays, and watch the game on sundays!~

...those are my days off, so i like to take advantage! I tend to like to do it all night too, that's why, I don't really want to get together on weekdays! anyways, just let me know if you are interested! and fyi..my dad has season tickets to the cowboys, and some weeks, he can't go. I've already called dibbs on the next one he can't make! and they are really good seats too....but please don't use me just for that!! =) talk to you soon!!

Hoob's comment: I guess she's preparing for the next home game that is 8 months from now.

I have been looking for a job all month with no success. If you can hire me, or know of a job that pays at least . I would prefer a full time job. It would really help me out. I can send my resume etc. if you are serious and real. Please type "December Job" in the subject line so I don't have to open spam. Thank you so much.

Hoob's comment: December Job? It's January 29, you dumb whore.

WARNING... TO ALL WOMEN!!! - 99 (ALL OVER...)
Date: 2010-02-05, 8:12PM CST
Reply To This Post

TO ALL YOU IDIOTS!!! (and you know who you are!!!)
If you post a posting that you make a point of asking for a picture and a threat that you won't even consider answering if a picture isn't sent....AND you don't post a picture yourself... I WILL FLAG YOU!!!
SECONDLY... if you post and DO add a picture... of your fuckin cat or a rainbow...OR ...and this one really gets my guall...the picture that you DO post is a picture of an emblem that states NO PICTURE NO RESPONSE!!!! AND you don't post one of you!!!
OK... I feel better already!!! The longer this is posted the fewer of you will be FLAGGED if you have the sense God gave a goose!!!
LOL..
PS... THIS IS NOT FOR ANYONE THAT DOESN'T POST A PICTURE...YOU MAY HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR NOT POSTING A PICTURE OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOUR DOG UGLY!!! RE-READ WHAT I SAID ABOVE!!! ITS THE FUCKING BUNNY RABBITS AND YOUR CAT THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!

I like bunny rabbits.

You kill your fair share of kittens though.

Killing kittens is in our nature.

Can variable do this?

Oh, my.

From employment:

Help wanted for carnival
Date: 2010-02-14, 4:38PM CST

Looking for permenant traveling help. Postiotions available now.
no experience nessacary. must be will to travel, no childern, no pets, and no crack heads.

leprechaun! leprechaun!

some writer should do this and keep an online journal. Who wouldn't want to read about life as a carny?

Free used cooking oil <2gal. (S. Grand Prairie)
Date: 2010-02-18, 4:22PM CST
Reply to: sale-5fshk-1607124283@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I have less than two gallons of used cooking oil. You MUST be able to pick it up in the next 30 minutes. First one to email gets the address. YOU MUST BRING YOUR OWN CONTAINER!!! Time's ticking away... posted at 4:22pm Thursday.

ooo... I'm frying fish tonight! Am I too late?

In

FREE: Stretch Mark Cream (Plano 75023)
Date: 2010-02-21, 6:27PM CST
Reply to: sale-ckswj-1611599105@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I have 2 unopened 8.5 oz bottles of Hinds lotion. Helps prevent and reduce stretch marks.

Porch Pickup

Serious Inquiries Only

Um...ew.

2000 BMW 750IL - $7200 (Plano)
Price: $7,200
Year: 2000
Make: BMW
Model: 7 series
Miles: 138000
VIN:
Stock #:
Engine: 12-Cylinder V-8
Color: Black

Hoob's comment: What's a 12 cylinder v-8?

even awesomer?

it's like a PC mac.

From the police blotter of the Denton paper:

A 21-year-old Denton woman told police Monday that a man has been sending her threatening text messages after she responded to his ad on Craigslist last week.

The woman told police she is a Christian singer and had gone to the online want ads looking for a backup band. After seeing an ad, ostensibly for a band looking for a female lead singer, she responded online. The man who placed the ad asked her to call him.

They talked Thursday and agreed to meet at his house at a later date, she said. Two days later, the man sent her a text message asking her what she would wear for the audition. She told police she thought the message was odd and she ignored it.

The man then sent her more than 50 text messages over the weekend, some sexually explicit and others threatening to kill her, a police report states.

The woman’s boyfriend texted the man, telling him to leave her alone, but the man only repeated his threat to kill her.

After the woman found the man listed online as a registered sex offender, she called Denton police to report a terroristic threat. Police asked the woman to keep the text messages and made a copy of the Craigslist ad for evidence.

Mrs. Hoob just called me into the living room to tell me about a story on the news involving Craigslist. It was this story.

Just saw that on channel 8. That dude was creepy.

Maybe we can open up registration and he can post here.

He probably already does.

That bitch better watch her as...er, damn, sounds like a dick.

No Checks.
No Euros
No Northerners.
No Red Hair.
No Low-Ballers.
No one from Highland Springs or Cooper Estates

Adult Incontinent Briefs Medium New in pkg - $5 (Forney, Tx)
Date: 2010-03-16, 11:21PM CDT
Reply to: sale-6rgsx-1647782720@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

12 briefs in a package. Waist measures 32-44" (81-112 cm). Dry comfort extra, now more absorbent. Manufactured by SCA Hygiene Products.

3 packages available, $5 each package

Date on pix is incorrect. This was taken this year.

Hoob's comment: The original owner died. Throw that shit away.

Maybe this will make you grin:

Toothe brush - $5 (plano)
Date: 2010-03-16, 9:31PM CDT
Reply to: sale-gpx3z-1647672148@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I'm have a toothe brush for sale. it's a good deel for 5 dollars. Im lost my job and cant get a new job becuze it's so hard. well the tooth brush's I used it like for about like a week, but you can use lysoll if you have to.
its like new. It was from walmart. oh i for got to tell you it is a reach. this my friend compyuter so I will check the email by later tumorow. ok. Im hoping you buy it.


thank you god bles you.

And finally, this:

free spices (allen)
Date: 2010-03-16, 11:37PM CDT
Reply to: sale-vs2qz-1647793900@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Salt, baking powder, balsamic vineager, cloves, and other

Hoob's comment: Really? You are giving away salt? Baking powder? You are a colossal dumbass.

FUEL FILTER-MAZDA MIATA (Mesquite)
Date: 2010-03-18, 5:15PM CDT
Reply to: sale-gnxnm-1650411649@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

BRAND NEW FUEL FILTER FOR MAZDA MIATA I DONT KNOW WHAT YEAR MODEL IT GOES TO
FREE- FREE

got some junk stuff i need hauled off (cleburne)
Date: 2010-03-18, 12:57PM CDT
Reply to: sale-xxrvx-1649984233@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

got some junk stuff around the yard i need hauled off..trying ot clean up yard a bit....got like an old fiberglass boat that my brother in law left here,,he used it for target practice..just other random stuff

Hoob's comment: Our society is not getting smarter.

HIDDEN WORDS ON COMPUTER / OR SECRET MASONS / JASON BROWN CRACKHEADS (LOOK AT THESE)
Date: 2010-03-17, 8:54AM CDT
Reply to: comm-wnw3x-1648040515@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

THEY HIDE HERE IN THE MATRIX / RUN YOUR WORDS WITHIN PARAMETERS < >
LOOKS LIKE LITTLE As DON'T THEY / A1 / ACE / JASON BROWN / HOWELLS /

THEY HIDE UNDER OUR NOSE / IN THE SYSTEM

NO SPACING BETWEEN THESE LITTLE As < >
aliens are here and numbers to destroy the world are tied up in the Watch towers / courts

I read my bible / who counts the watch towers/ st Augustine Florida / court house and sheriffs numbers numbers add up to 49 and the other one to 67 / now thats 116 or the mason`s way 911 /

and keep adding you will find 49 is 13 / aND 67 IS 13 /

ALIENS EVERYWHERE AND NO PLACE TO TURN FOR HELP X CEPT GOD

Hoob's comment:

wow! looks like someone got a hold of the good stuff!

I can get behind an absolute batshit nuts guy like that. At least he's entertaining.

screaming about aliens > whining about socialism