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 Post subject: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:17 pm 
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I love the "missed connection" section. Some samples:

You are an RV Salesman in McKinney (just south of White street). I was in your store on Wednesday (with my wife)looking for a pop-up camper. DAMN you are one HOT dude. You didnt have a wedding band on so I thought I would give this a shot. If you remember me and are intersted just let me know.

Hoob's comment: Dude, WTF? And my wife gets mad at me for checking out chicks.

Here's another queer one...

Hey thought that although this is a longshot, I would give it a try anyway. We met today in my office building. We chatted about the elevator and I gave you directions to the title company you were looking for. You're a great looking guy and I enjoyed watching you walk down the hall. I don't know if you will read this or be interested, but I would enjoy getting to know you better.

Hoob's comment: Dude, WTF? Are you a fag or not? Fags aren't shy about being gay. You should go troll for a fat girl or something.

One more from the other magazine...

you were our waiter at Mimi's yesterday evening at 5:00. We were a party of 10 and you were very attentive and kept putting your hand on my shoulder. You are a great looking guy and seem very nice. Would like to get to KNOW you very much. Tell me about the older gentleman at the end of the table so I know its you. Know this is along shot, but you only live once.

Hoob's comment: Notice how he put the word "Know" in all-caps? Wink, wink, hint, hint, nudge, nudge.

Here's a desperate guy that met a woman on an elevator...

I have ran into you a few time this week, today we got on the elevator together, you introuduced yourself and I introuduced myself to you, you were wearing a tan skirt, I have no idea if you read this, but I am hoping you do, if you do, lets make a connection, would love to talk to you and get to know you, Just wondering if you agree

Hoob: Buddy, take it from Hoob, the doctor of loooooooooooove. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. It never works out.

Last one. This is as queer as a football bat...

Heat and Air guy at Tom thumb today. Very hot guy in your work truck about noon today. Please email me if you would like some help relieving stress or just would like playtime. We exchanged stares when you were leaving.

Hoob: Vomit.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:12 am 
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jim jack wrote:

Heat and Air guy at Tom thumb today. Very hot guy in your work truck about noon today. Please email me if you would like some help relieving stress or just would like playtime. We exchanged stares when you were leaving.


Exchanged stares = heat and air guy looked in disgust at the queer in the parking lot


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:18 am 
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Hey guys! The family just bought an RV!!! Let's go camping!

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:07 am 
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Ok, I promise I did not make this one up:

WTF do you think you're doing, sending me a picture message of your penis?

Besides the fact that you are hung like a tic-tac, it was furry and gross. I'm so glad you didn't whip that thing out on me when we were dating, because I would've kicked you in the balls.

You're a sick bastard. I'm making something out of my life and you're still in Mansfield jerking off. Get a life and stop sending those gross pictures - if I were you, I would NOT be wanting people to see it until I took some lengthening penis pills.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:23 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Ok, I promise I did not make this one up:

WTF do you think you're doing, sending me a picture message of your penis?

Besides the fact that you are hung like a tic-tac, it was furry and gross. I'm so glad you didn't whip that thing out on me when we were dating, because I would've kicked you in the balls.

You're a sick bastard. I'm making something out of my life and you're still in Mansfield jerking off. Get a life and stop sending those gross pictures - if I were you, I would NOT be wanting people to see it until I took some lengthening penis pills.

:( sorry, hoob. your number's right next to stu's on my speed dial.

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:07 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Ok, I promise I did not make this one up:

WTF do you think you're doing, sending me a picture message of your penis?

Besides the fact that you are hung like a tic-tac, it was furry and gross. I'm so glad you didn't whip that thing out on me when we were dating, because I would've kicked you in the balls.

You're a sick bastard. I'm making something out of my life and you're still in Mansfield jerking off. Get a life and stop sending those gross pictures - if I were you, I would NOT be wanting people to see it until I took some lengthening penis pills.


There's a certain 817er that lives in Mansfield and he plays golf. Hmmm


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:36 am 
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Rent is due and Ariel is running a special. Well it's the first part of the month and you know what that means. Yeah, man wants his money. So I'm running a special, tonight and tomorrow only!!! I'll be up late tonight too, so don't be afraid to call.

Hoob's comment: Judging from her picture and her drawn-on eyebrows, she's going to have to run a lot of specials to be able to pay the rent.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:06 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Rent is due and Ariel is running a special. Well it's the first part of the month and you know what that means. Yeah, man wants his money. So I'm running a special, tonight and tomorrow only!!! I'll be up late tonight too, so don't be afraid to call.

Hoob's comment: Judging from her picture and her drawn-on eyebrows, she's going to have to run a lot of specials to be able to pay the rent.

Image needs to post links to these Craigslist items he reads.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:25 am 
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So dancing really did end up turning Ariel into a whore.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:40 am 
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I hear that Ariel chick's got crabs.

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:26 pm 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
I hear that Ariel chick's got crabs.


Hear = bought a comb yesterday


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:23 pm 
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This is the funniest thing that I have read in a long time. Holy SHIT! I just farted while typing this and it smells like trash juice from the bottom of my trash can mixed with syrup and fried eggs. I just gagged.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:22 am 
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What is wrong with the world? You know, if I had a pile of dirt in my yard, I'd find a place for it. The dogs are always digging, rain washes some of it away, et cetera.

Today I click on the "Free" section and notice that more than one person is giving away "Free Dirt." WTF? I laugh to myself and say, well at least there is no picture, and I'll be damned if I don't see another ad WITH A PICTURE.

I also saw ads for free egg cartons and a free pallet. Yes, it was just one pallet leaned up against something. I can't believe they were smart enough to deal with digital photography. What am I saying? They probably pestered a neighbor to do all of this. At least it wasn't me. This time.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:13 am 
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Here's one I copied a couple of weeks ago:

This will be my very last post on here if I dont find something fruitful. I need some one who can give it to me the way I need it when I need it. Someone who can go for hours on end. someone whos not at all afraid to let me do everything that pleases them. hopefully that someone is you

Hoob's comment: You don't need a man, you need a toy. Probably a big, black one. Oh, you'll need batteries. Sam's has good prices on those.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:19 pm 
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Here's one that I copied and pasted before someone removes it:

(Women seeking men) I am bitter. Let me tell you why. - 21 (PLANO)

I don't like animals. I don't like having fun. I don't like physical activity. I don't like flowers. I don't like going on dates. I don't like sunshine. I don't like friendship. I don't like children. I just like to smoke and drink and fuck.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/w4m/767344827.html


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:53 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Here's one that I copied and pasted before someone removes it:

(Women seeking men) I am bitter. Let me tell you why. - 21 (PLANO)

I don't like animals. I don't like having fun. I don't like physical activity. I don't like flowers. I don't like going on dates. I don't like sunshine. I don't like friendship. I don't like children. I just like to smoke and drink and fuck.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/w4m/767344827.html


Why are they removing it? :mad:


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:15 am 
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I guess I was wrong. It's still there this morning.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:18 am 
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Mike Hunt wrote:
jim jack wrote:
Here's one that I copied and pasted before someone removes it:

(Women seeking men) I am bitter. Let me tell you why. - 21 (PLANO)

I don't like animals. I don't like having fun. I don't like physical activity. I don't like flowers. I don't like going on dates. I don't like sunshine. I don't like friendship. I don't like children. I just like to smoke and drink and fuck.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/w4m/767344827.html


Why are they removing it? :mad:

Get any takers?

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:18 am 
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Mike Hunt wrote:
jim jack wrote:
Here's one that I copied and pasted before someone removes it:

(Women seeking men) I am bitter. Let me tell you why. - 21 (PLANO)

I don't like animals. I don't like having fun. I don't like physical activity. I don't like flowers. I don't like going on dates. I don't like sunshine. I don't like friendship. I don't like children. I just like to smoke and drink and fuck.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/w4m/767344827.html


Why are they removing it? :mad:


Cuz Sagger is prolly already there trying to sweet talk her.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:25 am 
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TerdFerguson wrote:
Mike Hunt wrote:
jim jack wrote:
Here's one that I copied and pasted before someone removes it:

(Women seeking men) I am bitter. Let me tell you why. - 21 (PLANO)

I don't like animals. I don't like having fun. I don't like physical activity. I don't like flowers. I don't like going on dates. I don't like sunshine. I don't like friendship. I don't like children. I just like to smoke and drink and fuck.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/w4m/767344827.html


Why are they removing it? :mad:


Cuz Sagger is prolly already there trying to sweet talk her.

doesn't sound like there's a whole lot of sweet talk necessary. if he shows up, he's in.

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:28 am 
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then it's time for some mouf wand rumpa pumpa!


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:33 am 
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rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
then it's time for some mouf wand rumpa pumpa!

you stickin with that?

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:33 am 
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Sweet Greggo wrote:
rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
then it's time for some mouf wand rumpa pumpa!

you stickin with that?



I'm not sure the forum window licker should worry so much about grading my posts.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:34 am 
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rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
Sweet Greggo wrote:
rowdyhatinwalt wrote:
then it's time for some mouf wand rumpa pumpa!

you stickin with that?



I'm not sure the forum window licker should worry so much about grading my posts.

i don't know what that means, but i'm sure it's funny.

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:09 pm 
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It's gone now. :sad:


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:41 pm 
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Was there a pic?


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:12 pm 
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this is where Walt should post a pic of the sarlac pit pic


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:15 pm 
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Mike Hunt wrote:
Was there a pic?


Four of 'em. A really skinny, skanky blonde.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:06 am 
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jim jack wrote:
Mike Hunt wrote:
Was there a pic?


Four of 'em. A really skinny, skanky blonde.


Dammit. I had my money on a really fat, skanky blonde.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:41 pm 
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Here's why you should give a shit in school (from the women looking for men section):

well i little about me. i am 19 years old. i a homeless romantic that means anything to you guys.

There was a picture, too. 10 beers. At least.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:54 pm 
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Here is a set of high roto toms, 6 8 and 10 inch with stand. They are very well taken care of and have remo ebony pinstripe heads on them that are in excellent shape.

Hoob's comment: This are a type of drums that we regularly make fun of. If you are in an 80s cover band, these things are for you. I wonder if this guy has a keytar that he'd sell me.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:06 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Here is a set of high roto toms, 6 8 and 10 inch with stand. They are very well taken care of and have remo ebony pinstripe heads on them that are in excellent shape.

Hoob's comment: This are a type of drums that we regularly make fun of. If you are in an 80s cover band, these things are for you. I wonder if this guy has a keytar that he'd sell me.

:D


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:29 pm 
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From women looking for men:

First off I'm fat.


*At that point, I clicked on the "back" button.*


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:04 am 
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jim jack wrote:
From women looking for men:

First off I'm fat.


*At that point, I clicked on the "back" button.*

liar.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:17 pm 
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Well, I WAS disappointed that there was no picture.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:23 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
Well, I WAS disappointed that there was no picture.

you are the quintessential hogger, hoob. Cmon.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:22 pm 
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The Hoggers. I think that's going to be the name of my next band.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:32 am 
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Reply to: sale-802885524@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-18, 10:30PM CDT



My electronic store going out of business and I have qty's below

QTY
18- 42" samsung 1080i for $200 ea.
16- 50" samsung 1080i for $250 ea.
10- 56" samsung 1080i for $300 ea.
11- 60" samsung 1080i for $375 ea.

All of these tv's come with manufacturers waranties. Serious buyers please.




Location: Dallas
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:51 am 
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stolen


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:40 pm 
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or somesuch wrote:
stolen


Stealing those things from bars is big business.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:04 pm 
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From the Missed Connections section, Women for women:

I was the drunk girl who came up and bit you on the neck and then walked away. You came up to me and called me out on it. We then made out a bit. Just wanted to say "Thanks" for making my night and I hope I didn't leave too many marks.

Hoob's comment: Holy Jonathan Frid. I can't say that I've ever witnessed that pickup maneuver.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with Craig's list
PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:53 pm 
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jim jack wrote:
From the Missed Connections section, Women for women:

I was the drunk girl who came up and bit you on the neck and then walked away. You came up to me and called me out on it. We then made out a bit. Just wanted to say "Thanks" for making my night and I hope I didn't leave too many marks.

Hoob's comment: Holy Jonathan Frid. I can't say that I've ever witnessed that pickup maneuver.


That ad screams "Dear Penthouse".

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