Sounded less Texas-y.

I saw a bunch of Murican flags being set up yesterday around town and I wondered what the hell that's for. Then last night, Mrs Tit mentioned that her work wanted everyone to wear red white and blue clothes today. I asked why, and she said because 9/11. Oh yeah, I thought.

Sorry America, I forgot.

It was kind of a rough morning. People were pissy. Didn't want to go to school. Forgot homework last night. Buncha shit, I tell ya. Titette was especially mopey. I offered to drive her to school and she accepted that. There's a Starbucks right by her school, so I asked her if she wanted one. She said yeah, so I loaded the online app with an extra $10 so we could get a couple drinks. The line wrapped around the building, but it moved pretty fast. We ordered and moved forward one car length every few moments. When we were next in line for the window, I noticed the person in front of us was eyeing me in her side mirror. She looked like a mom, but she was cute, maybe in her mid-30s with straight blonde hair. She kept looking back, and it wasn't a quick glance. She was looking at me. I had my shades on, so I looked right back the whole time. I totally would've if I weren't married, and, ya know, stuck at the drive-thru. She got her order and pulled away. I pulled forward and got my phone out to pay, but the barista--that sounds dumb but it's their actual title--told me the lady in front of me paid for my order. So we got free Starbucks this morning. And it's because I'm still sexy. This old dog's still got it.

Epilogue: While still in shock from this minor fortune of generosity, I checked to see who was behind me in line. It was some Mexican lady all by herself in an old minivan. I told the barista I'd like to pay for the person behind me provided their order was less than $15, because that's all I had on my account. The barista checked and it was $17-something. I said screw it, I'll get them next time and drove away. Next time don't order the moon, lady. Now I kinda wonder if there was a Pay It Forward chain going on and I broke it. If so, I don't care because that movie was fucking stupid.

That bit is stupid, especially if it's a chain where everyone is pretty much breaking even. What's the point? I would reject the free coffee regardless and demand to pay for my own. I don't go to Starbucks though.

So you guys are saying I'm not actually sexy?

I'd buy you an iced half caff ristretto venti cinnamon dolce 4-pump sugar-free soy skinny latte anytime, big fella.

I love starbuck's. My go to drink is an Americano with an extra shot. That's right, an extra shot of espresso. No one has ever paid for mine though.

you queers just need to drink black coffee like a man

Also, when a roll is exhausted, what do you do with the little cardboard roll? I ask because the floors around our shitters tend to be littered with those fucking things. No one can be bothered to just toss it into the trash. I imagine they can be recycled and that's where the confusion lays, because we don't keep recycle bins in our loos. We keep ours in our pantry on the floor next to the kitchen trash. Anyhoo, that paper rings on the floor wouldn't have flown at my parents house when I was a kid. But we didn't recycle back then either.

Also, when a roll is exhausted, what do you do with the little cardboard roll? I ask because the floors around our shitters tend to be littered with those fucking things. No one can be bothered to just toss it into the trash. I imagine they can be recycled and that's where the confusion lays, because we don't keep recycle bins in our loos. We keep ours in our pantry on the floor next to the kitchen trash. Anyhoo, that paper rings on the floor wouldn't have flown at my parents house when I was a kid. But we didn't recycle back then either.

I throw the little roll in the recycler box. It is a cardboard box under the sink in the kitchen. Our kitchen trash can slides out like a drawer from our fancy cabinets. Sometimes I look through the little cardboard rolls when I'm walking it to the recycler, like its a telescope. Other times I talk in it and my voice sounds different, and then even other times I make trumpet noises in it.

battree.