@UberFacts: You are more likely to be killed by a vending machine than you are to hit the Mega Millions jackpot.

Ac/doc is the greatest band ever?

Never heard of them.

Tim Beary showed up today on my "people you may know" feed on linkedin. It made me happy to see his face.

Malcolm Young has dementia. He's only 61. Of course, that's a hard 61.

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/family ... -dementia/

He got Thunderstruck too much

Barry Horn ‏@bhorn55 8m8 minutes ago

Lowest rated sports talk weekday prime time (6a-7p) hour of the week in DFW? Colin Cowherd's 1.5 at 10 am. Highest? Musers' 9.4 at 8 am.

I heard "I Am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel this morning. When I was a little kid, a thought the words to the chorus were "I am a rock/I am an eyelash".

When I was a little kid my favorite Simon and Garfunkel song was Slip Sliding Away. I nailed the words to the chorus accurately.

I did know another kid who liked to flip his eyelids inside out. That still makes me squeamish when I remember it. Sometimes when my eyes itch I'll lick a knuckle and then rub them. That feels good, but sometimes it will make an eyelid flip and I get panicked until the eyelid rights itself.

The ability to flip eyelids is a trait I wish I had. Instead, I can make my eyeballs look like they're vibrating. Tit Jr can do it too.

I think that one's just Simon, but it's a good.

That is some fucked up shit. I knew a lot of kids who could do it. I never attempted it.

Growing up I was envious of eyelid flippers and dudes that could gleek on command. I also wished I could armpit fart but not near as much as the first two. I thought loud whistlers where pretty cool as well.

I could armpit fart and also do it on the backs of my knees. I can still do it just by cupping my hands together. I could also blow legendary fart noises into the crook of my arm.

I also can do all the fart noises. Maybe not the crook of the arm one though. I'll have to try that when I get home.

Gleeking was insane. I never understood how people could do that. The fact that we thought that was so cool shows that 4th-6th grade boys are really just idiots.

I was always envious of those who could make the armpit fart noises as I could not. And the gleekers seemed like the coolest, didn't they? Yet I could not spit like most cool kids could either. I could only do the basic 'expel saliva to the ground in my immediate area' but could not 'hock a loogie.' Also, I do not know the correct spelling of loogie.

My one party trick is that I can wiggle my ears, but this only entertains the under-seven crowd. But it is fun to watch them try to figure out what muscle to flex. No one in my elementary or junior high schools were very impressed that I could wiggle my ears.

Good strong posting today, boys. We beat the shit out of --->

I'll take your word for it.

me too

The cooler temps loosened up the wedding band and it flung off my hand yesterday evening when I was picking up branches in the yard. You can really lose stuff easy in grass and, yes, we have St. Augustine. Have you ever plucked a blade of St Augustine and run it between your thumbs and blown into it like a whistle? This is the 2nd wedding band I've lost. I am bracing myself today for the onslaught of poon that will surely try to approach me.

Post your stories here, please.

I will or maybe I'll start a Trained Goucho's cold call chronicles blog and post it there.

you'll do what jj says

plus I'd hate to undermine the subconscious work of my power of positive thinking hypnosis app with a stinkin thinkin blog.

That whole page sounds like bullshit.

Have any of you done the Unclaimed Property thing? One of those things I remember hearing about years ago and forgotten. I had nearly $200 out there. One claim was for an apartment I lived in back in 1997. Finding proof that I lived there was interesting but I'll take the cash.

16 cents, bitches!

I did it once and had about 45 cents coming back to me.

So far, somey is winning.

I did it once and I think I had around $100. It was a whole bunch of dividend checks from stock that my grandmother left me and I just never bothered to cash them because they were so small. Most less than 5 buck, some less than a dollar.

Last I checked I've got around $385 from an insurance company I cancelled with. Unfortunately the address it has for me is a place I stayed at for 2 months in 1991 (right after my separation) and I have absolutely no proof I lived there.

You can try getting a credit report at https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. That's the legit site run by the three credit reporting companies. Federal law gets you three free credit reports per year from them. I had around $100 from a place I lived in 1996 and had no files or anything showing it now. The Experian credit report had that address listed and I used it as proof. Worth a shot.

$50

big bag of nothing

All of my best scores on electronic Yahtzee happen when I am pooping at work.

Atop of every tank on every toilet in my parent's home (qty:3 total) sits a King James Version Holy Bible and an electronic pocket Yahtzee game.

I have the top score on the upstairs bathroom one at just over 700 pts, attained while pooping.

This morning, after pooping at home, I used the moist bum wipes freshly-purchased by Mrs. Tit over the weekend at the the Kroger's. It's been awhile since we've had the good stuff and I've become re-accustomed with ordinary dry bog paper again. I was excited to use the wet wipes again. I used three of them, and they soothed my starfish at the time, but now as I sit at work, my butt itches like a mug, like I didn't get it clean enough. It's upsetting and makes for a tough afternoon on an especially busy Monday. I didn't read or play anything while "doing my business", but I do enjoy Yahtzee.

I always use the wipes as a finisher. Dry paper to get everything clean and finish with the wet wipe to put a nice polish on the ol' starfish.